My husband is taking a job out of town. He will require to live away most of the time, and even if he can get home, he will have to leave before 7am and not return until late. I cannot criticise him. For reasons I can’t explain in detail, this is not an offer he can refuse.
I have worked very hard for many years to be where I am professionally. I am self employed. Three to six times a month I need to be out of the house before 8 (sometimes before 6, maybe two-four times a year) and not back till late, or at least till after nursery closes. We have a two year old. Up till now we have been able to shuffle things around so that there is always one of us to do the pickups and drop offs, and to pick her up if she is ill. We have had a bad experience with a nanny, and I would not rely on one again for FT care. More important, our DD enjoys nursery – it is a really lovely nursery – and I believe she benefits from her experiences there.
I am struggling to think how I can arrange childcare to allow me to work. If I don't work, I basically have wasted the last 20 years of my life. Do I have to pay for someone to be there at 7am even on the (majority of) days that I don’t need that cover? Would anyone who I would trust actually want a job where the hours were 7am to 9am and 5.30pm till 7, or 8? Does anyone have any experience of childcare arrangements like this?
I cannot give up the things that need the early starts – they are a really important part of my work. I cannot move with my husband. My two older children’s dad lives nearby, and I cannot leave them, or ask them to move with me and have less time with their dad. Their dad and I share care more or less equally.
What can I do? I am also really distressed by the prospect of not having my best friend to talk to. I just feel sad. I don’t have family nearby. I know that everytime something goes wrong with childcare – dd is ill, or, if I can get wraparound, the carer doesn’t show, I will take the hit, not him, whereas we have shared the risk till now. Thank you for listening.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Husband changing job - childcare crisis
krasnayaplats · 12/03/2014 15:48
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.