Do childhood sweetheart relationships ever last?

[kitkat220]

Hey guys I've posted before about my relationship with my husband so I'm not going to go through the details again but I've been thinking recently about it so thought I'd post this topic and see what you all think. I first met my now husband when I was 15 and instantly was smitten. We had our first kiss when I was 16 and had an on/off relationship for a couple of years (just kissing) and got together properly when I was 18. We got engaged when I wad 20 and married when I had not long turned 22. I am now 33 and we have 3 children aged 9, 8 and 8 months, I'm not happy in our marriage anymore and I wonder sometimes if it's because we married too young. I feel we have both changed a lot and have drifted apart. So I just wanted to ask you all if you think childhood sweetheart relationships can ever last or is it better to have a relationship when you are both mature enough to know who you are and what you want Xx

We have been together since 18, and married soon after, and its still like when we first met. What do you think has changed in your marriage op?

We met when we were just 18. Got married at 24, had kids at 28 and 30 and will have been married for 25 years this year.

Thankfully we grew together rather than apart and still fit together really well. I think in any relationship people can change and drift apart regardless of age.

we met at 17 (he is 3 days older) married at 22. Been married now for 29 years--3 DC's and 1 DGD.
As has been said by Karin thankfully we grew together however l have encouraged my Dc's not to settle so young.

I could have married my, 'childhood sweet heart' but I suspected he wanted children and I knew for a fact I didn't.

When I was 16 he told me that when I was 18 he would put an engagement ring on my finger

We met when I was 13 and he was 15 and split when I was 21. He was 2 years older than me. I suspect his sister was pressing him to ditch me as she saw me as a timewaster. (She got chucked out of the family home after spending the night with her boyfriend some time in the 1970's. This brought their wedding date forward sharpish, children were born later, then came the divorce.)

Anyway, we got along just going out for a good few years. He wanted to get married, or engaged at least. I was sceptical of his money management and just could not see a long term future for us.

I was glad to meet someone as a fully formed adult, who in turn was a fully formed adult. I didn't want the cringe of marrying my childhood sweet heart. Had I no imagination ?

He got married and I've seen his photo on facebook. No loss !

I think it depends entirely on the people.

My DM and DF went to school together, got together at 16 and are still married 35 years later. They've had some very rocky times but for the most part are still very much in love.

There were times that potentially they might have broken up if they hadn't both been very very committed to working through it.

Everyone grows and changes as a person throughout their lives. I think the successful couples are those that enjoy and accommodate these changes and are broadly in step with each other.

My relationship failures have all been connected to me growing as a career woman/person while my partners (to my mind) stayed the same. I think a relationship can fail on these grounds no matter the age of the couple when they get together.

My nephew married his childhood sweetheart. They're both approaching 40 and are incredibly happy. Their career growth was broadly the same, they play together and their family values match well so it can work.

Didn't work for me....

Last 10 yrs but ultimately it was the he we got together and having a child that did for us.

Lasted and age!

My parents got together at 16 and next month are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary and have three grown up children and several grandchildren.

My sister met her first love at 15, they married at 29, had a child a year later and divorced a year after that.

Definitely depends on the people. My sister and her husband grew apart and that was highlighted when they had a baby. My parents didn't and hopefully never will.

Hassled Mon 10-Mar-14 20:17:26
"I think for those couples who can change and grow together it works."

I am still married to the man I met on my first foreign holiday when I was 19, over 30 years ago; he was my first boyfriend. We come from different countries, have different native languages, different family expectations and different religions. We have coped with a long distance relationship, poverty, job insecurity and the stress of bringing up a disabled child with MH issues. I'd say we've come a long way.

My bf is married to the boyfriend she had when she was 15. They have also been through a fair bit and again seem to have grown together rather than apart.

I know two couples who got together in their very early teens.

One couple, now in their mid 30s, have never even so much as kissed another person and are in a happy, blissful little bubble and have been since they were 12.

Another are in their late 20s and have a house, children etc, however they both cheat on each other, but are too afraid to split up because they have always had the fallback of having each other, it's quite sad really, they are just in the habit now and neither is happy.

My parents were childhood sweethearts and are still together 40 years later. Ditto my ILs.

DH and I met when we were teens and we are very happily married with two children. We have been together the best part of two decades. We grew together, not apart. Some hard work, mostly luck.

Met dp at 17 moved in with him 6 weeks later and been together ever since. 35 years.

I had a childhood sweetheart at age 5 years old .......we grew up together from birth, were like brother and sister . we had a play wedding when we were little ,,,in my heart i feel strong feelings but in a way i think its wrong to act upon them because i consider him my brother

Been with my DH since 16 now 31 with one DS and DC2 on the way and still going strong. We've had hard times and uncertain times over the years but have always managed to find our way back, as people above have said we seem to grow together rather than apart.

I married my first love. We are still together and happy. In our case i think it has helped to have clear and similar goals.

My parents met in their teens and have been married 54 years now.
I met DH aged 11, went out with him from 6th form, married at 20 and it's our 30th Anniversary next year. We have been through many ups and downs of life but we are a team :)

I think nowadays they are more unlikely to last than perhaps 40 years ago when it seemed most people married their first love!

I would imagine the stats would suggest that the divorce rate amongst this group is higher than the average.

I think after so many years together, many relationships become stale and require a lot of effort to keep them fresh.

I met DP 20 yrs ago when I was 16...I don't think people have failed if they grow apart though, I think a lot of it is luck tbh.

We have known each other 50 years met at 16 and 18. In that time i have been ecstatically happy, completed miserable, desperate for a separation, and jogged along making the best of things.

Looking back now I can see that in the bad times we were sometimes equally at fault, sometimes, it was just nobody's fault, just normal stresses and circumstances.

It can work if there is no emotional or physical abuse on either side. In the bad times I never had the courage to start on my own, which I think is typical of my generation. My husband is a good man but we both changed over the years and in a long marriage we sometimes wanted different thing out of life.

The worst phase in our life was in our early 50s when all the kids had left home. I thought we would do lots of things together but he had his career and his own interests and I felt really lost. Not empty nest syndrome I was looking forward to the child free years. But it turned out to be a very lonely phase in my life.

My Auntie started going out with my uncle when they were both 14, and they are still married and are both nearly 70. so yes, it can work.x

Some people grow together, others grow apart. You can't go thinking that because childhood sweetheart relationships can work that they all ought to.

Have you explored ways of reconnecting with each other? Is it life that is humdrum with three children taking up all your energy etc or is it definitely him (or the him/you axis, he might be lovely but not your sort of person)? Are you tied down to home and/or work, or do you have an active social life together or separately? No need to answer any of these, just points to think over if you haven't already (you probably have).

In my experience I would say yes ...
My mum and dad have been together since they were 14 and still going strong with three older children don't get me wrong when we were younger they were like cat and dog but kids being so much stress ????

I have been with my husband since a canopy , we have been bestfriends since we were 12, got together at 16 and have 3 children. Most nights I dream offing him in his sleep hahaha big even if he works somewhere over night I can't sleep without him xx