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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Whose the head fuck

55 replies

unluckyineverything · 09/03/2014 14:04

Text conversation with me an so called dp today

Me,did you ask xxx about borrowing car?

Dp, yep

Me,well what did he say?

Him, what has it got to do with you?

Me,I've only got a week to sort something out for ds birthday an no car means we can't go to x place so as it's a favour for me surely it has everything to do with me

Him, your such a head fuck usining your kids as ammo top mom ain't ya

Just for back ground info we have been together for 4 years, no dcs together but his very close to my 3 dcs youngest calls him dad don't live together as we live 2mins from one another. Please anyone explain how I'm a head fuck Confused

OP posts:
HMG83 · 09/03/2014 14:45

Shock he says he doesn't like the sound of your voice!!!

Omg. What a prick. Why are you still with him?

RandomMess · 09/03/2014 14:45

Sounds like he's moved on to someone else tbh. Life is too short to put up with that sort of behaviour from a "partner" or anyone tbf.

HMG83 · 09/03/2014 14:46

Please show him this thread so he can see how rude and nasty he is!

PortofinoRevisited · 09/03/2014 14:47

NO-ONE would speak to me like that and still live!

Joules68 · 09/03/2014 14:49

Doubt op will be back!

Original poster
unluckyineverything · 09/03/2014 15:00

I will show him this thread hopefully he will see then see that it was his behaviour that has caused our break up thanks again everyone

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 09/03/2014 15:06

He won't 'see' anything :) Show him this and he'll be pissed off that you put his business on the internet and then he'll deride the answers as being from a load of prattling women. To paraphrase... what has it got to do with them? Wouldn't waste your time.

GlaikitFizzog · 09/03/2014 15:07

I wouldn't show him the thread. He will just write us off as screaming harpies.

End it, end of. No further discussions, no mention of MN. Just tell him you no longer find the relationship fulfilling so it's best if you never see the utter twunt ever again you call it a day.

clam · 09/03/2014 15:15

There is absolutely nothing to be gained by showing him the thread. He's hardly likely to say, "Yes, darling, you know you're quite right, I'm a foul-mouthed tosser," is he?

You don't need to justify why you're dumping him. Just do it, and pick more carefully next time.

Logg1e · 09/03/2014 15:31

Don't show him the thread, keep this place as your sloppier network.

Is he from this country? Is English his first language? I can't understand why he thinks it's acceptable to talk to you like this.

ImperialBlether · 09/03/2014 15:35

He sounds a complete prick and as though he doesn't like you much.

God knows why you'd want to keep him in your life.

pictish · 09/03/2014 15:38

Wouldn't bother showing him this thread - he won't care a shit for our opinions, and will dismiss it as further evidence of your unreasonableness. Waste of time.

As regards your dp - he's a waste of space. Speaks to you like shit. Fuck him right off.

ImperialBlether · 09/03/2014 15:41

I also wouldn't show him this thread. The last thing we need here is people like him.

KatieScarlett2833 · 09/03/2014 15:48

What a nice chap, can't think why you would want to dump such a charmer... Wink

Original poster
unluckyineverything · 09/03/2014 16:04

Yes his English an nearly 40 I have taken all of your advice an drafted an email ending things. Will send it to him in the morning as his out with friends today an I don't want him accusing me of ruining his day

OP posts:
BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 09/03/2014 16:09

what?!

That's the way your so-called partner speaks to you?

And he's clearly thick as two short planks as well. As you very clearly explained, you needed to know what the situation with the car was for the best reason of all - it's to plan YOUR DS's birthday treat.

Anyway, no matter. Just dump him, ASAP. It's not even worth discussing it, and certainly don't waste your afternoon on another argument with Mr. Thicko-Argumentative by showing him this thread. He won't 'get it' - this type never do.

Text back saying thanks for everything and goodbye, please don't contact me again.

mileysorearse · 09/03/2014 16:10

Send it and ruin his day, its the very least he deserves. The utter twunt.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 09/03/2014 16:10

Good on you, OP.

I'd put at the end that you consider this email your final contact and if he tries to contact you after receiving it, you'll consider it harassment.

TheNewSchmoo · 09/03/2014 16:10

Your resolve doesn't sound particularly strong. If you are ending a relationship with a twunt why do you care if it ruins his day?

And by email. It all sounds a bit childish and like an empty threat to me unfortunately.

pictish · 09/03/2014 16:13

Good OP. Relationships aren't supposed to be about swallowing someone else's disrespect, lack of manners and poor treatment of you in the name of familiarity.
If any man spoke to me like yours does you, he would be made distinctly unfamiliar faster than he could blink in surprise. And I mean that - I have been with a rude, ill mannered bastard myself, and all I can say is...that will never be my life again.
I expect to be treated with consideration and kindness, and good manners at all times...and what's more, I get it...because I wouldn't settle for anything less.

Good luck xxx

Logg1e · 09/03/2014 16:42

(I'm so sorry about the sloppiness early, I did of course mean "support").

Qix · 09/03/2014 16:55

Send it now, his happiness is no linger your concern Smile

Good luck Thanks

iklboo · 09/03/2014 17:30

Tell him it's over as you're sick of him and you don't want your children to pick up on his twuntish, disrespectful behaviour because yes, you ARE a 'top momma'.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 09/03/2014 18:02

Unlucky that he's practically on your doorstep but thank goodness you didn't let him move in with you. You don't want any nasty scenes with your DCs in earshot so agree a simple email would do the trick, who cares how he paints you to his mates, just draw a line under this. Better a birthday at home or locally for your DS than trying to keep a man like that sweet for another week.

coldwater1 · 09/03/2014 18:08

I'd ring him and end it so he knows you are serious. Don't worry about ruining his day, he seems to have ruined a lot of your days in the last few months without a care!