I'm Gonna Paint That Man Right Outta My Hair.....

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

(With apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein)

Someone just now mentioned redecorating as a constructive way to make a new place feel like home and I remember finding a pot of emulsion wielded with passion was a good way to exorcise the old home of exH vibes.

Survivors of heartbreak and life - what did you do to wash that man right outta your hair?.. :)

Went to a lovely hotel for the weekend on my own and ate and drank ridiculously expensive snacks from the minibar because for 27 years I wasn't allowed to!

I bought cushions. Lots of bright, clashing cushions.

The ex hated cushions. Would be apoplectic if he spotted one on a sofa. The poor cushion would be flung on the floor with huffs and puffs galore - think road rage. Said cushion rage was quite the most disproportionate response you could imagine!

I'm staying in the family home and am already planning to redecorate parts of the house. First up the what was our bedroom and is now just mine. He hated wallpaper so I will be going for a nice feature wall. Will also be getting a tv and sofa in there and just generally turning it into a girlie, peaceful sanctuary. I also have plans for several other rooms but the bedroom is the main one I want to do.

I change my diet (healthy in a look after myself way rather than weight loss per se) get out running, fab new haircut, and meet up with pals to get shitfaced!

@ scorned Brilliant!!

Painted here too. Week after he moved out I ripped the bedroom carpet up and threw it out of the front window. I sanded and varnished the floorboards, stripped the horrible wallpaper and have painted the bedroom white - it's gorgeous!!

I bought a pretty chandelier and turned the bed round (couldn't afford a new one but bought new bedding). No more of his crap strewn all over the bedroom, no more dirty socks and underpants just left on the floor.

Have a skip coming next week so I can obliterate the garden shed and the garden.

Great thread Cog

It's been a long time since my exH walked out but one of the things we did together when we were young, optimistic and still planning a future together was install a kitchen. Today's the day it is being ripped out as part of a bigger building project and there's going to be a lot of memories... good and bad... going in that skip. More emotional than I banked on, in fact.

I stopped watching soaps and started watching fucking wildlife programmes. ok, mostly crime series and comedies.

Bought new furniture for the living room and put the curtains up (we had been in the house for about 6 months).

Actually had to wash his stench from the pillows.

Enrolled a self defence class. I'm still doing it and enjoying it. The punch bags are all called his name in my head.

I split with ex-p in Feb last year, the house finally became legally mine only in Feb this year and I have completely redecorated my bedroom, new floor, new curtains, new paint, new furniture inc bed. The stairs and hall are being finished today then it's on to the living room and dining room. I's great!

Oh yes, I listen to the Archers (like I always have) but now there are no derogatory and sarcastic comments about it from FWEx to ignore.

(Update) Ex's handiwork nearly gone. One of the workmen asked did I want to keep anything and was met with a slightly mad and very hollow laugh....

I have a lovely black and hot pink feature wall in my new bedroom..and there will be cushions of the same colours..he hated cushions..and wallpaper. Our previous house was all magnolia..magnolia everywhere lol

-New bed and very, very girly bed linen
-Have girled up the living room so much it looks ridiculous
-Started my iTunes library from scratch and reinstated all the stuff he said was crap and wouldn't allow on "his" computer
-I'm getting thin
-Wearing heels because I am tall so I never could because he felt "small" (he was! haha!)

• I'm writing a book, which will probably never see the light of day, but he always said I wouldn't be able to do it

Really enjoyed reading this thread

Oh yeah, a fresh coat of paint in a new colour was great during my divorce process!

As were:

• new haircut
• new clothes
• new bedsheets
• new costume jewellery to wear on ring finger
• getting a dog
• new hobbies
• new friends
• new job

Three years on, all the "new" stuff is now just the stuff that is part of me, and that I am still really really happy with. They weren't just changes for the sake of it, but changes that moved me towards a life that I am generally more comfortable in.

Having lived in a half finished renovation project for 5 years I took ALL the money we made on selling a rental property and bought myself a brand new house which I furnished from scratch to my taste...oh and I took the decent car..
He is now penniless with a crap house and a crap car!
Should have kept it in his pants

God aint women amazing.

LOL @ 'cushionrage' BeforeAndAfter

When my crap ex left me, many years ago, I:

• Went on a lovely holiday abroad, and stayed somewhere nice (he was really tight about money and would never fly or stay anywhere good)
• Did the grocery shopping exactly the way I liked it
• Got a telly (he was a real joy-sucker who didn't like TV)
• Started socialising & going out to gigs, parties etc again (see above re: joysucking)

@Jan45... women liberated from the yoke of male twattery are generally amazing, yes. :) And so creative! I'm also loving 'cushion rage'. Met a bloke once that described cushions as 'fat litter'. It didn't last...

Fabulous thread!

cog good luck with the new kitchen. Get yourself a special fridge!
I've always wanted one of those!

The fridge is going to be very, very special... lots of room for and swede :)

In another ex-erasing session I car-booted the more interesting stuff he'd left behind in his haste to be in fanjos pastures new. De-cluttered and made a few bob on the side. Win-win

got 2 kittens! he hates cats!

Flowers. Nice things. No skull stuff or biker stuff anymore.

not there yet but loving this thread! Yes to cushions, new bed linen, girlie stuff since it'll just be me and dd.
And it will be tidy and clean, not covered in his shit that he never picks up and I won't feel unable to clear up as he sucks the life out of me on a daily basis.
oh yes, and flowers, and nice smells. And blankets and things for the sofa to snuggle up with dd.

can't wait.

Flowers in 3 rooms! even got a little vase of daff's in the bathroom. Cheap but very cheerful. DDs like them.

I salvaged some stuff from a skip and sold it (all with permission I promise) and with the £'s have bought a lovely small sofa to go in my bedroom bay window - my kids are already talking about curling up on it in the sunshine and reading. DM going to cover it in fabric of my choice

Installed new shower. Landscaped the garden. Painted shed. Had my front wooden windows fixed and painted - expensive but look fabulous. 1950's photos in frames that previously had some crappy photos of his.

When I get the energy I will completely empty the cellar of his crap - I can't wait to chuck it ALL in a skip. Why do they feel the need to keep every box ?

Oh and saved loads of money on taking his name off car insurance, house insurance and boiler servicing. Bonus

Honestly don't miss his weird smell - that he still has! I hold my breath when he collects DDs. His poor new wife.

This thread got me thinking today...so a few more have occurred to me...

• Now I leave a light on in a room if I go out of it without panicking, not with great abandon or anything, just normal
• I drink wine at night
• I have friends around all the time
• I buy myself and DD a present every week

I've been inspired to go out and buy MORE cushions

makes mental note to buy more cushions, too what's with men not liking cushions? Oh, I leave the odd light on too..it's actually not the end of the world as previously inferred. And we make noise, lots of happy, fun noise, in every and any room we like, even when the tv's on.. da da daaaah..