Please help - situation with good male friend

[TwattyBojangles]

I don't even know where to start with this one. Sorry, it may be long.

I have a friend, lets call him Bob. Bob and I have been friends with 'undertones' for 10 years. Nothing sexual has ever happened, but for some reason we've always been drawn to each other. We get on fantastically, have both always liked each other, and in a way I've felt like I'd end up with him from the day we met.

In these 10 years, I've had relationships during which we've stayed in touch. Bob has had one serious, long term (3 years) and long distance relationship that he is still in now. During my last relationship I pretty much went NC with Bob, as I knew my feelings for him were too much to keep him as a friend. I had a child, the relationship with my ex broke down and I am now a single parent.

Bob always tried to maintain contact, and about a month after my ex and I broke up I finally got in touch with him again. Since then, we've texted/spoken nearly every day. He is still in his long distance relationship, and I am still very much single.

We both know we like each other. We always have. Nothing will happen. It's killing me, I know it needs to stop, but he's such a great friend and I'm finding it really hard to cut all ties again.

I know this is so stupid. I really do. And I know what I should do, so why can't I?

A few months ago we had a while of NC after a silly tiff. After this, we both acknowledged that our friendship was not helping either of us, and yet we've both been sucked straight back into it.

Again, I'd like to point out there has been nothing sexual. He has not been unfaithful and I'd never want to put him in that sort of position. There's just this funny thing that draws us to each other and we find it so difficult to cut it off again.

[Twinklestein]

I think I am worried about losing face. He's asked me if I've wanted more and I've always played it cool. I suppose I just don't want to come across desperate.

If he asks you you should tell him the truth. Being honest and being desperate are completely different things. He's not going to be open with you if you are covering up how you feel.

[NewNameForSpring]

I agree with many above. For god's sake just tell him you would like to have a proper relationship. He can then say whether or not he would he would be happy to give up his girlfriend to then embark on a proper relationship with you.

Hopefully he will.

Not just for your sake but for the girlfriend who I fell a bit sorry for.

Courage! (said in a French accent)

[TwattyBojangles]

Yes, I should tell him. Now I need to grow the balls to do it... Ugh. This does not bode well with my cool 'I don't give a fuck' air I try and give off

[shouldkeepquiet]

Just get on with it rather than all this faffing around life is too short.
Sad story - my nan finally got together with her school sweethard at 62 after a lifetime of faffing around. The family said they never saw her so happy for 18 month - until she got stomache cancer and died quickly inside 4 months. We all only have so long and we don't know how long that is so get a move on!

[BeeInYourBonnet]

Watch the film 'One Day' on C4 tonight at 9pm.
If that doesnt focus your mind, nothing will!

[TwattyBojangles]

Funnily enough I watched that film the other day. I couldn't stand it. Anne Hathaways understanding of an english accent was horrific.

Anyway, I've kind of told him that I do like him. We've agreed to not talk for a while, so no great love story here!