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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dick pictures

97 replies

Thanksfebb · 03/03/2014 22:22

Just why?? Why do men send these?

Found a picture in dh's phone outbox to a weird email address with just a word and number (no name). There is another message to that address just saying 'no I didn't' but that was two weeks before the picture

Trying to think of a reason he'd have sent this that isn't bad but can't really think of one.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 04/03/2014 20:00

What a load of bollox....
How does he explain how the hacker had a cock shot....?

Thanksfebb · 04/03/2014 20:11

I don't believe him I know it is him. He says the hacking was to send out spam from his address but doesn't make any sense

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 04/03/2014 20:25

Op don't let him insult your intelligence....horrible time for you Hmm

AnyFucker · 04/03/2014 20:35

he is a liar

and a cheat

waltermittymissus · 04/03/2014 20:42

Oh Thanks Sad

What will you do?

Tallypet · 04/03/2014 21:07

Such a horrible situation for you. He will continue lying of course. What did he say when you asked him about how the picture got there in the first place and how did the 'hacker' get it.

Thanksfebb · 04/03/2014 21:24

I don't know what to do now, he is sticking to his story. I don't want to think the worse and that he's taken it and sent it to another woman but I can't think of another explanation or how that could be innocent.

He is saying the picture is not of him and has just been sent from his address

OP posts:
Logg1e · 04/03/2014 21:30

I'm sorry to ask, but why do you think it's him? I mean, are you confident it is him?

Hix · 04/03/2014 21:30

Who else would it be?

Logg1e · 04/03/2014 21:31

It doesn't make sense - whose number is it? Was it stored with a name? Why would a hacker send (at least) two messages to a number?

And has anyone ever heard of someone's phone being hacked and messages sent??

Pooka · 04/03/2014 21:32

Compare his knob with that in the picture.

Hix · 04/03/2014 21:32

I'd have to call his bluff and say that as he won't tell the truth then I would have no alternative but to leave him. And then do it.

handfulofcottonbuds · 04/03/2014 21:34

It is a very strange situation. I'm not sure how he can deny it when the photographic evidence is there.

You know what your DH looks like so why is he denying it is him?

When you confronted him, was he quick with his reply? Was he defensive?

Hix · 04/03/2014 21:37

It kind of comes across like he's thinking 'what's she gonna do about it? Nothing'.

handfulofcottonbuds · 04/03/2014 21:40

You come across as quite calm considering.

Does this seem totally out of character for him?

Millyblods · 04/03/2014 21:47

Well if it is him, of course he would lie. He is panicking and buying time.

Thanksfebb · 04/03/2014 21:49

Logg1e - I can just tell it is he denies it because it's fairly close up so there is nothing in the background or obviously identifiable and he says it just looks similar

He seemed shocked when I brought it up but didn't ask wht I was talking about or look at his phone to see the message he just said he thought he'd been hacked but he hadn't mentioned that to me before. Now he is just saying 'why would I send that to anyone?'

I'm trying not to panic and hoping it can't be what it seems but someone said that they have only known someone send these to women they were involved in sexually and that's what I would think too but I didn't have any suspicions and it would be really unlike him. He has never sent me any pictures like this and can't imagine him being in that sort of relationship with someone else to send them

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 04/03/2014 21:50

Why would a.n.other person put their cock in someone else's email messenger and then send it to just one recipient

the clue is in whose email is it...an individual or to some hook up site to be shared with god knows how many other equally inadequate people

LordPalmerston · 04/03/2014 21:53

answering your q with a q is classic stalling

i have never ever been sent a cock

Or two

handfulofcottonbuds · 04/03/2014 21:55

Is he refusing to answer more questions? Is he angry at the accusation or brushing it off?

Millyblods · 04/03/2014 22:04

It doesn't look good Thanks Sad

Cabrinha · 04/03/2014 23:43

The first email I caught my ex sending was just a mild "nice to chat and meet new people, don't you think?" - no cock shots.
To this day, he claims that his mate sent it for a laugh, when he was repairing my ex's laptop.

  1. Said mate (according to his own brother) knows fuck all about laptops.
  2. It just wasn't funny - where was the laugh?
  3. It contained some pretty distinctive format and grammar errors - his mate would have had to carefully copy my ex's error-ridden "style".

Still, I decided to accept the lie and go forward. I knew he was lying. But then the bigger stuff I found on and off through our marriage, I kept holding onto the "well maybe it's the very convoluted one in a million chance and not the bleeding obvious explanation".

Frankly, I was an idiot.

No matter you think this out of character, what's more likely?

  • he sent his cock photo to someone
  • someone hacked his email and happened to have a cock picture that was just like his

He is lying to you.

Gettingmeback · 05/03/2014 01:32

Thanks I'm sorry you're going through this. What a shock. TBH I don't think that behaviour which appears out of character applies when it's about cheating and OW. This is exactly the sort of behaviour that an otherwise seemingly harmless, loyal, doesn't generally send dick shots, man does when cheating. The thrill is often that it is so different from his relationship with you and he can indulge in the sordid. He knows his bullshit story is insulting but he also knows you can't prove otherwise so if he just keeps denying, you'll let it go. And that is usually what happens. I think you need to take back control, tell him you don't believe him and it's over. See what he says then.

kentishgirl · 05/03/2014 11:11

'maybe it's the very convoluted one in a million chance and not the bleeding obvious explanation'

yep, I did the self delusion thing too. I won't make that mistake again. The simplest explanation is usually the right one.

waltermittymissus · 05/03/2014 14:47

If dh told me he'd found pictures of my vagina that I'd sent to someone I would be, at the very least, wanting to see these messages for myself!

Wouldn't you?

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