does anybody else's partner/husband do this?

[desperateforaholiday]

I genuinely don't know if this is normal or not.

My dh very often will not respond when I say something to him, just incidental stuff like I spoke to my mum today or I saw 'insert any of my friends name here' today. Its like he doesn't hear what ive said. Usually when he says something to me, I'll say something along the lines of 'did you' or ' how are they'

It isn't just when I tell him ive seen or spoke to somebody either, if I say I'm going upstairs run a bath, I don't even get an 'ok' from him.

Is it me?, I find it a bit rude and a bit hurtful, as its like he's not interested and can't be bothered to speak to me.

Ive asked him about it before and he says that because I'm not asking a question he doesn't need to reply.

Dh does this sometimes and it drives me nuts. If I repeat myself he always says he heard me... Ehh I'm not psychic... Then he goes on about how tired he is and how hard he's worked....

Mine is similar. I find it selfish. I am pretty sure he ignores it. Does it matter if your DH is an only child or an older child? Mine is the only child. Still behaves like one in front of his DPs.

Mines a middle child!

Yup I tested mine the other day when I was applying for passports online, I said to him "I can't believe it just cost my £40 to have a application form sent out" if he was paying attention he would've said that I've been conned blah blah blah but all he said was yeah!! I actually repeated myself 5 mins later and still nothing! Ignorant twat!!

Mine does the exact same thing. He says 'Oh I thought you were making a statement' I sometimes have to ask if I've said something out loud as I'm waiting for a response and don't get one. Blumin annoying at times.

I do this to my DH and I dont meant. Quite often I do it because I'm stressed out and trying to turn my brain off.

mean it*

But they do respond if you offer them a cup of tea/coffee. :)

It's just rude. Ds1 does it and then gets shirty when I repeat myself so I say "it's customary when someone speaks to you to acknowledge them".

DP sometimes doesn't respond but then he has a delayed reaction a few moments later and says "sorry, did you say something?" and feels bad for not hearing me.

Similarly I always say bless you when someone sneezes. DP often doesn't but when I say "bless me" he'll apologise for. to having said it himself!

I think he has just switched off his conscious listening but can still hear subconsciously.

For not having said it himself.

My dh does this. I blame his mum...because she talks constantly, and doesn't expect a response. She just talks talks talks and everyone just carries on with what they're doing (watching tv, painting the walls etc) no response required. He learnt it from his dad and sisters.

It's kinda rude, but don't sweat it. There's worse things to worry about. X

Opposite here...DP jibbers about anything and everything, and I don't always respond...random statements do not always equal conversation.

I do this. I don't see statements like the ones you describe as requiring a response, and it annoys me when people say lot's of things like this because I view it as talking at me, not to me. If you want a conversation about what happened when you saw your friend, surely you say something like 'I caught up with Sarah today and she said the most interesting thing about such and such...', not just 'I saw Sarah today', which sounds like you have nothing more to say on the matter. And the bath thing...are you trying to tell him he's in charge of the DC's or are you just announcing your intention to enter a different room of the house, because one requires a response and one is the worst kind of pointless information.

Similarly to me DH doesn't feel the need to speak unless he actually has something to say, so no clashes over this here.

I am like this... I do not feel the need to give an answer when there's no question. So not only a men's thing.

When Dp doesn't acknowledge something I've said, I'll mutter 'is that right Justmuddling, really Justmuddling, that's very interesting Justmuddling' etc etc til he responds.

I pretty much chatter on for most of the day, giving a running commentary on everything from making a cup of tea to events unfolding in Ukraine. DH is an unacknowledger and it's really maddening. We both work from home but from separate rooms ... I don't expect him to acknowledge my conversation from a separate room.

I wish he gave me running commentaries.

When my eldest son comes home from uni it's great. He's possibly the chattiest person I know. He tells great jokes and stuff.

DH jokes that his flat mates will be like this

Mine doesn't. It will either be a proper response or just a "Hmm" or "OK" or "Oh." but he will always respond. Unless he has headphones on and then I assume he hasn't heard.

I totally get where you are coming from. My DH does this and when I say 'honey? Hellooo?' I get 'YES OK I HEARD YOU!'... Well then? 'Well what?' Arrrgh something? Just pretend you care about what I have to say so I don't feel like I'm talking to myself. He also cuts me off to play with our toddler daughter. Yesterday came home to me saying I had been vomiting. He drilled me with questions (not sympathy) then in the middle of me explaining...he's asking DD where her belly is and can he tickle it! Ffs! I realise he wants to spend time with her and it's lovely but....give a shit!! I exist! And I'm interesting! Sometimes.....

I do this. So I hope it's okay. I just don't respond if it's not needed. Like going for a bath. I might respond to "I saw mum today" with "right?" because I think that sounds like a cue for "can I tell you a story?" but I would probably still stay silent (I don't know why but it annoys me when people do this- I know it's probably normal etiquette but I don't understand why).

I think it is rude, however, to literally not be listening! If people are speaking I do concentrate on what they're saying! And would (rudely I accept) tell someone if I was losing concentration (as frequently happens, whoops) so they could slow down/stop/wait.

DDs father (EX) ... Nightmare. I used to 'joke' that he was on pay-per-word. Why say a whole sentence when one word will do. I favoured the "..and then my arm fell off.. So I stapled it back on.. Didn't bleed for long...." Approach. Not funny, just sad. Complete waste of my breath

My dp although he has his faults does not do this. I would find it so so rude and disrespectful.

Yeah mine does this to me. Then wonders why I always ask him to do things in a cold bossy manner instead being pleasant. I was being pleasant dear, I had to turn on the nasty because pleasant doesn't get your attention.

I might as well be talking to the wall. Seriously.

I do pull him up on it some times but he's an old dog now.

Yes mine does it. Not as much as he used to though.

Trouble is he does seem to not hear me a lot of the time and unless he acknowledges what he DOES hear I can't tell whether he hears me and isn't responding or not hearing.

Sixteen years in and we are making progress.

Not hearing is one thing, choosing to remain inert and never respond at all is another. I've never witnessed this and don't think it's ok.

If the justification is 'no question was asked so no response was needed' I'd be interested to hear if the person would respond, or rather not respond, in the same way with a boss, a customer or a friend. It would make social interaction very tricky.