need help!

[gem1984]

Hi,

I need some help or advice on a particular situation but find it really difficult to talk about.

Well done Gem. It's hard, but leaving with your self respect intact will help you when you go into your next relationship. You have your priorities, your baby and you, and you both deserve better than what this man was offering. Never forget that. x

hi gem. so sorry to hear you are in this situation. my history is similair but not the same. i have an ex and we had an amicable split ( after he cheated) but then i found out i was pg. ( unplanned was on pill) anyway he didnt want anything to do with it, and hasnt told a soul. i moved home to my parents town so we dont see anyone and his parents dont even know they have a grandchild. and his new partner doesnt know. have to say i am happy with this. problem was though i lived on my own and claimed benefits ( which i hated ) and all was fine till the bloody csa got involved and unless i handed over his details and he helped pay to care for his dd then they cut my benefits by 40% and whn i was only on around £100 a week that really stung. ( i was ok as my new partner brought us a house and we moved in togther, engaged ttc etc so there is a happy ending for me ) but after all this waffle what i am trying to say is he will have to help you support your son, and you need to tell him this and warn him that you will give his details to the csa as otherwise you will not beable to support you and your lovely child. make sure you stay strong and fight for what you need for your child. just remember his wife is also a victim in this though as much as you dont want to hear that and his other children ( though they sound older) must not suffer either, but daddy doesnt have to be around them 24/7. plenty of people are raised by split parents and are fine. hope you are ok.

Thanks everyone. I was so worried that ppl would read this and just think i was some horrible person and tell me hoow awful i was knowing he was married . i'm glad i've done the right thing and i will be doing the right thing by my son now and making sure the ex knows his responsibilities and he provides properly for his son, even if it means he has to confess to his wife and kids. at the end of the day his kids have the right to know they have a brother after all .

what i'm trying to say is thanks for not judging me