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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Fancy my boss! Help

222 replies

AdvicePlease1709 · 24/02/2014 20:22

I have name changed as i really don't want to be outed. I work very closely with my boss and have a good working relationship.

Just recently though i find myself losing concentration in meetings because i am looking at him and bloody dreaming about him at night.

I feel like i am a teenager again and it is really affecting my work. It wouldn't be so bad if i didn't have to work with him nearly every hour of the day.

I am seriously considering looking for work elsewhere.

OP posts:
nomorebooze · 26/02/2014 20:59

text him otherwise you wont do it.............

Lurleene · 26/02/2014 21:00

No No don't wait, you will chicken out. And he is probably feeling quite miserable tonight. Talking to you might have taken guts to do. Tonight! Tonight!

ferretyfeet · 26/02/2014 21:03

I'm riveted how do I mark my place?

Original poster
AdvicePlease1709 · 26/02/2014 21:04

Sod it I'm biting the bullet and going. I won't have he guts tomorrow if I wait and I'd hate for him to feel embarrassed.

I am going to skip the champagne though

OP posts:
PortofinoRevisited · 26/02/2014 21:04

Have you not been to the restaurant yet?

nomorebooze · 26/02/2014 21:05

thing is, you will feel even worse if you don't do it tonight! it will stew.....even go with what someone else said, you were like rabbit in headlights and regret the just being friendly remark tell him how you really feel.................

fortyplus · 26/02/2014 21:06

Good decision! Go go go!

nomorebooze · 26/02/2014 21:06

yeah go girl..................

MyMILisfromHELL · 26/02/2014 21:09

Marking place!

FrankUnderwood · 26/02/2014 21:11

go go go

AmIatwat · 26/02/2014 21:17

Just text him, I know what you are going through, I've been there, regretted never acting on it. Look you know him, you've worked together, it's not a silly crush. He's as bloody scared of rejection as you. Even if you have made an error of judgement ( I doubt you have) just bite the bullet. Say something along the lines of " Had a fab evening, sorry I was a bit shy etc, was taken aback, but yes, sorry if I really fancy you, I can't help how I feel, but understand if you don't feel the same way".

PortofinoRevisited · 26/02/2014 21:18

I am always the sour grapes one, I know - but this is an horrendous idea. Don't go and do anything. Keep your self respect and professionalism intact. I have seen this sort of thing happen many a time. It always goes badly wrong and usually means the WOMAN has to leave her job. Not the male boss.

PortofinoRevisited · 26/02/2014 21:19

If it is meant to be - then pursue it more gently in normal time.

SheherazadeSchadenfreude · 26/02/2014 21:21

What Porto says.

AmIatwat · 26/02/2014 21:22

Look, if he wanted to discuss your flirting because he has a problem with that he wouldn't have booked a meal for two in a restaurant, he'd have discussed it over coffee. You have nothing to lose, I doubt you'd get fired. Most people meet there partners at work. However if you do nothing you'll end up resigning if the tension escalates to the point where you can no longer communicate with each other.

Twinklestein · 26/02/2014 21:26

Personally I wouldn't do anything tonight.

PortofinoRevisited · 26/02/2014 21:27

Um She has EVERYTHING to lose. Shagging the boss like this is a recipe for disaster.

PortofinoRevisited · 26/02/2014 21:29

If they genuinely like each other - well they can go on dates like normal people and get to know each other better. Shagging your boss on a business trip is so wrong on so many levels.

Auntimatter · 26/02/2014 21:29

Good luck! Lucky you. Wink

Lavenderhoney · 26/02/2014 21:29

He wouldn't have booked a table in a smart restaurant to harangue you about inappropriate flirting:) ( unhelpful after the event)

AmIatwat · 26/02/2014 21:34

Yes, don't go shagging him tonight! But a much needed snog wouldn't go amiss. Then date him and keep him waiting and wanting....

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 26/02/2014 21:39

Hope this is more successful than the van man thread.

fortyplus · 26/02/2014 21:45

Definitely remain polite and professional tonight! But fine to discuss the fact that you're attracted to each other and formulate a project plan! Grin

AmIatwat · 26/02/2014 21:45

Look this bloke has bitten the bullet and asked you out on a date. Quite understandably you got all flummoxed and blew it, however it can be salvaged. I'm sure he's a decent fella given that he hasn't been a letch or anything. Don't chicken out. Life is tough but sometimes we have to take a few risks. Follow your instincts and tell the poor bugger you like him. It's not harassment, it's being open and honest. If he says no way Jose accept it; draw a line under it, all is not lost.

MamaPingu · 26/02/2014 21:53

Just read through this entire thread and was gutted to get to the end.

Hope all is going well OP I am so giddy for you Smile

These are the best threads! So much tension Grin