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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wading Through Winter Blues Without The Booze!

999 replies

Mouseface · 17/02/2014 21:47

I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU. Smile

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you. And of course all addictions, so if you are taking drugs of any kind, prescription or otherwise, you're very welcome here too!

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's all in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always. :)

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

    • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
    • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST EVER THREAD

And the most recent so you can work your way back through time IS JUST HERE

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that YOU seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

Mouse xxx

OP posts:
Isindesidecar · 24/03/2014 20:34

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Isindesidecar · 24/03/2014 21:05

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Isindesidecar · 24/03/2014 21:07

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babyjane1 · 24/03/2014 21:11

inside all the better for hearing from you, your posts always make me laugh, you are a witty,whippet smart lady and your posts are fab, stay close mrs xxx

dementedma · 24/03/2014 21:16

thurso great to see you. Being nice to dh? Now you KNOW where that will end up.Grin
Nice to see some of the oldies on the bus tonight.
Dd2 chatted to me in the car about possible holiday plans - maybe Barcelona, maybe France....and casually adds that she'll probably go with Andrew.
Who TF is Andrew? I ask.
My boyfriend! she replies. Didn't I tell you?
Bloody kids!!!!

babyjane1 · 24/03/2014 21:29

So I'm just about to run my bubble bath and every expensive face pack, exfoliator and pamper product I posess is lined up promising new found youthful features and skin like a baby's bum. All I need is my candles which I go to fetch with a camomile tea to complete my relaxing venus like zen.., on my return to run my bath (i only run it when I'm in the room to ensure safety of 3 year old) the same bloody 3 year old had poured every god dam lotion and potion in the god dam bath!!!! Aaaaaarrrrghhh I screamed out like a hysterical lunatic!!! Conclusion? venus can you make this venus camp residential coz I don't stand a bloody chance with this lot, not feeling zen like one effin bit xx

dementedma · 24/03/2014 21:33

Oh baby no!!!!
I hope you ran water onto all the bubble mixture anyway and it smelt nice.
Am off out to collect trollop dd2, then bed and Day 5 of venuscamp will be done.
I wonder what nice thing I will do for myself tomorrow?

Mouseface · 24/03/2014 22:19

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Thank you all for such wonderful and kind words.

Today was very emotionally draining, tiring and yet utterly beautiful. The sun shone down on me for the entire journey, the warmth of it's glow gently resting on my skin.....

My darling Dad was waiting for me at the station, the train went past him and I saw him there..... if I could have run into his arms like that 9 year old girl used to do, I would've in a heartbeat.

I held him so tight and he nearly crushed me in return! Once we'd disentangled and with drier eyes, we went for lunch and updated each other with everything that has been going on. Nemo was very poorly last night so DH has had to take the day off work so I could still go and see Dad and eventually my Mother's resting place.

It's a wonderful place, peaceful, tranquil, near a natural stone water feature, there's a bench where I sat with my Dad and we both wept silently. Changed her flowers and put fresh water into the little vase.........

venus - she's interned (SP?) into the ground in a little vase somewhere near to her planter and plaque, underground so we don't know exactly where she is................ maybe if you know where abouts she is you could place something in the garden, just from you? Your family? Then at least you'd have something physical to mourn, to see, to talk to? I'm sorry you don't have that.

We plan to put something in the garden here, something that is Mum's omage... We have the boy's Christmas tree with 3 ribbons on it. And DH has drawn up plans of what he wants me to have as my space but also to have part of the garden as tranquil and serene - no children allowed!

Quite how he'll manage this is beyond me or maybe he plans to build a six food barricade around my sanctuary of peace and love! Hmm Grin

Anyway, I am absolutely exhausted and very emotional too. I've read every post you lovely lot have written about fighting the beast, and mostly winning. And of course to me.

When I was there with my Dad today, the sun glowing down on us, I knew that my mum was there, beside us. I could spell her shampoo, as I had on that last day..... as I had for years and years because she'd always used the same one.

I love you Mum and I miss you more than anything in this life. I promise to do you proud, I promise to live by your standards, your beliefs, use manners, be polite to all who greet me, never judge a book by it's cover, never expect anything from anyone.

I promise to give my children every part of me, to stay loyal to those who expect my love and honesty.

Night Babes xxx

OP posts:
babyjane1 · 24/03/2014 22:32

Rest In peace Mrs Mouse snr xxx

Fairenuff · 24/03/2014 22:42

What a lovely, heartfelt post Mouse, so glad that you found some peace and solace, it sounds like a beautiful resting place for your Mum. You have a way of painting a picture with your words, it's almost as if you are right here next to me describing it all. Sleep well x

baby sorry that it didn't turn out quite as planned. Isn't that the way with three year olds Grin Try again tomorrow? At least if you didn't buy booze, you can use the money to start replacing some of the pamper products.

Right, I have been sitting up waiting for the cat to come in but I've had enough now and am just going to go to bed and she will have to stay out tonight.

Night babes x

venusandmars · 25/03/2014 09:37

So, who enjoyed VenusCamp yesterday? Who enjoyed doing something nice for themselves, and who enjoyed reading about other Babes being nice to themselves too?

And who couldn't help but feel empathy (and a wee smile) reading about babyjane's bath.

So if you want to you can repeat that all over again today. You can do something similar, or something different. This morning I went to make my breakfast - there was damn little in the fridge, and I've gone off cereal. However there was a little bit of smoked salmon left. Normally I'd selflessly and thriftily find a way to use it with pasta for dinner with dh, but not today. This morning I indulged myself completely with scrambled egg and smoked salmon for breakfast (yes, you can tell that I work from home and don't have to do the school run!). But no guilt, no apologies, I feel good for having been so nice to myself.

If you didn't join VenusCamp yesterday, it's never too late. Just join in whenever you feel like it. One of the magic things about VenusCamp is that you never HAVE to do anything, there is no obligation, no guilt-trip, simply join in with what you like.

So what about today's VenusCamp activity? Well.... you can repeat yesterday if that made you feel good, or you can move on to the next activity, or you can do both (or even none).

Today's activity is an exercise in imagination (fear not those who spotted the word 'exercise', there is no running or huffing or puffing, oh no, that's not the venus-style at all).

So, if you can (and if you want to), find a quiet five minutes somewhere.... imagine, imagine that somewhere deep inside you is a place where all your feelings of love originate from, it's like a tiny seed that has been planted somewhere warm and protected. Then notice how the love is not just in the seed, it is filling your heart, your body, your mind. It is flowing to the surface of your skin, and then it is radiating out from you in all directions.

You don't have to believe that this is real, but imagine if all that love radiating from you was an endless supply - the more you give out, the more you have. Using it makes you feel good, and guess what, the more you use, the more reflects back to you from other people. It really is endless.

And yes, you even love yourself (even just for an imaginary moment). And because you love yourself you want to take care of your body (yes even just for this imaginary moment), you want to eat good things, to nourish yourself and to feel clean. And then guess what? because you're taking care of it, even in your imagination, your body notices little bubbles of health and energy.

In this imaginary place, you know that because you love yourself, you surround yourself with a home where you feel happy and content and comfortable. And the feelings of love that started as a tiny seed, fill you, and fill the rooms you are in.

Because you love yourself, you spend time working or caring or living in a way which you truly enjoy, one that uses all your talents and abilities, spending time with people that you love and who love and appreciate you (even just for this imaginary moment). Because you love yourself, you want to behave in a loving way to other people, and you attract loving people into your life.

Because you love yourself, you can experience THIS moment as good. And just for this imaginary moment, you let go of the worries of the past or the future, and you feel free.

And just for this moment you feel joyous and secure, and sustained by all that is good. And so it is.

babyjane1 · 25/03/2014 11:58

venus I need to come and live with you, I think I love you!!! Xxx

obrigada · 25/03/2014 12:00

Was just thinking the same thing Baby Grin

SoberSocFish · 25/03/2014 12:20

We're all moving in with you venus

SoberSocFish · 25/03/2014 12:20

RIP Mrs Mouse Snr xx

aliasjoey · 25/03/2014 12:41

Is it open house chez venus ? Because I'm moving in too.

babyjane1 · 25/03/2014 14:08

I asked first venus, first come first served ladies, form an orderly que xxx

Mouseface · 25/03/2014 14:33

venus - what a lovely post, I can feel so much love and warmth in each word you've posted. They're so calming, so real, strong and yet completely sincere.

I could read your posts and written words all day. xxx

OP posts:
babyjane1 · 25/03/2014 19:45

Well babes day 3 almost done for me, bath done, hair mask done, face mask done, fake tan done and moisturised top to toe... Wine witch who indeed? venus you can't be a planet cos your a star xxxxx

lookingforhope · 26/03/2014 07:45

Hi all, just looking in. Been ill all week - flu.like symptoms - and even had 2 days off work. Got to go in today and feeling nervous about catching up, especially as my voice is still shot so only have the medium of email or croaks! Not read back all but desperately want to go to Venus Camp. Will try to catch up soon as have missed you all. Love to you lot and have a good day. Xxxx

babyjane1 · 26/03/2014 09:10

looking I'm sorry you've not been feeling well, we've missed you and I hope your back to your sparkling best soon, will keep you a space in my tent at venus camp xxx rocking day 4 and off to the gym xxx

venusandmars · 26/03/2014 09:23

OK babes it's another day at VenusCamp.....

For those of you who were freaked out (or spaced out) by things going a bit 'woo' yesterday, VenusCamp today is more down to earth and fun. Today is all about returning to your inner child and PLAYING Grin

Do you remember times when you skipped along the street without a care in the world? Or maybe a time when you would have loved to do something silly and carefree but you were worried about getting into trouble? Well today let's have some fun. Do something that makes you giggle inside like a little kid. Go and jump in a puddle, skip around the garden, somersault in a park, find a swing and get yourself swinging - legs out, head back, feeling like you're soaring to the sky.

Never mind what the neighbours will think, don't worry whether your dp will be embarrassed or your dc will be astonished. Put aside the grown up 'parental' voice in your head who is telling you not to be so silly or to act your age and GO FOR IT!!!!

Feel the irresponsibility, the spontaneity, and enjoy it. Giggle out loud, or inside, or whoop with delight, or grin like a Cheshire cat. Feel free and delight in being childish and playful.

Or if you prefer, just revert to one of the previous days Smile

Isindesidecar · 26/03/2014 11:41

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venusandmars · 26/03/2014 12:03

isindie are you going to roll on the grass while you're there?

Isindesidecar · 26/03/2014 12:12

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