The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wading Through Winter Blues Without The Booze!

[Mouseface]

I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU.

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you. And of course all addictions, so if you are taking drugs of any kind, prescription or otherwise, you're very welcome here too!

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's all in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always. :)

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST EVER THREAD

And the most recent so you can work your way back through time IS JUST HERE

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that YOU seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

Mouse xxx

Hi all, I can really relate to all your posts about hiding in the glass, it just makes everything softly put of focus at first, then very unfocused and that leads to WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT! I have enjoyed waking up these last few days without the headache or worry. 1 day at a time for us all.

Day five done, I'll probably have a drink at the weekend but I'm ok with that, provided it doesn't lead to days of drinking.

Totally agree about hiding in the glass. My own drinking went from next to nothing most weeks to half a bottle of wine a night during the week, and a bottle on a weekend when I got together with h. I managed to cut down after having dds but I know I drank a lot to tolerate being with h. I was comprising more than I was happy with and wine made it easier...

Anyone there?

I am here Mouse. Are you ok?

No, not really Beaches

I spoke to my Dad tonight to arrange when I can go up to Manc to see him and for him to take me to the crem. I can only go on Monday or Tuesday and I was going to get the train, and my Dad said he doesn't want me to come on my own.... we couldn't talk as my dinner was ready and he was going out.

He said he was sorry and that my Brother was also taking 2 days off work so Tuesday is already out as he's seeing my Bro.

It's not fair. I've not been to see my Mum, where she is. I need to. I need my Mum. I can't keep doing this and Mother's Day drawers closer and closer. It's shit and cruel and I hurt deep within Beaches and I want it to stop. Now.

Oh Mouse, this is all so hard on you . Of course you must go and see your Mum if you feel you need to. I am assuming that your Dad doesn't want you to come on your own as he is worried about you travelling. Perhaps Tuesday would be an opportunity to see your brother too and all go together, would that be worth suggesting? I am guessing also that leaving Nemo is not easy. Would your dd make a good companion for the trip? I can sense your rising panic about Mother's Day. I am sorry you are feeling so raw right now. Xx

Oh mouse. I wish I could comfort you.
Can you go at the weekend with dh and just visit unannounced?

Not AF here but managing to keep two two glasses a night. Battled not to open a second bottle tonight but its a very expensive one given to me as a gift and I don't want to just chug it slumped in front of the telly so resisted.

My DD will be at school and my Bro lives up there so can go anytime that he likes. I think that my Dad doesn't want me to go alone on the train but I'm a big girl and I've been on the train lots of times alone.

I'm almost 40. I'm a big girl, well, a grown up and getting the train is better than me driving. I can only do Mon or Tues as I have hospital apps on Weds, DH is then away from Thurs, then he's bringing his Mom back to stay here over Mother's Day weekend. Which is fine as I would rather have my MIL here than no Mom at all.

That might sound odd to some but we're close. She doesn't want to replace my Mum and would never try. She has said as much. She's ever so lovely, and I wouldn't not have her here if she wants to be and she does....

It's my own personal pain that is stopping me from letting go, moving on, but it's only been just under 4 months since Mum died so horrifically.

I'll never forget the way she looked and the way she sounded as she left us. Or my Dad screaming in pain as the realisation of what was happening hit him so hard..... watching him crumple was awful. He was lost, broken and oh so shattered into a million pieces.

Sorry to be so weak and rubbish, I'm going to bed as my new meds are messing my head up big time.

Thank you Beaches for being here :) xxx

Thanks Ma but no, my PIL will be here that weekend. Thank you for replying though xxx

Mouse, you do not sound weak or rubbish. You are on a really difficult journey and it is still very early days. It is ok to be floundering. Hope you get some good sleep tonight. Tomorrow may bring some solutions. Xx

Mouse maybe your Dad meant that he already had company on Tuesday so would rather see you another day, as that is better for him iyswim, not that he didn't want you there on Tuesday.

Anyway, I think you should go on whatever day you want to and just tell your Dad when you are coming. He will worry about you, of course he will but that doesn't mean you have to do what he says.

Let us know what you decide to do. Dh is going away again? Is that becoming a regular thing now? Sending hugs, speak to you later x

mouse I hear your grief in every word, my heart goes out to you xxx

Well I've cracked on my six weeks booze free. Had two large glasses and have just bought another bottle. Went to the docs for dizzy spells and they found a growth in my throat and have given me an emergency cancer referral to an ENT clinic. Reverting to type and drinking to deal with stress. I'll get back on the six weeks tomorrow.

Kelly so sorry to hear that. There is a high chance that it will be something else but that won't stop you worrying. When is your appointment?

Try to drink a pint of water before going to bed and take another one with you. Keep posting, even if you are drinking, we are all here to support you in your choices of what is best for you x

Hi Babes hello to all those sober or trying to be.

So sorry to hear your pain mouse it sounds like you do need to go up there, otherwise you may regret it?

mouse do what you need to do, you're always looking out for everyone else but you are allowed to put yourself first sometimes x

Kelly I'm sure I'd have a drink under those circumstances. I'd say try not to worry but I'm sure that's impossible, drs often tell you worst case scenario, chances are it won't be anything sinister. Whether you drink or not keep posting x

Finally got my friend's funeral over with, it was good as far as tgese things go. I tried to break down what was making me so anxious, into smaller steps to take, and I think that helped get through it. I won't say that it didn't cross my mind that I could take a taxi to 'help'...

That should be take a taxi and have a drink to 'help'...

kelly I'm sorry you have the weekend ahead of you full of worry, these things are almost always nothing but you do what you need to do to get through it, we are all here for you, when is your app? Xxx this is my first sober Friday in, well a long time, got the period from hell and feel yuck so every cloud and all that as I don't even fancy a drink. Sending strength to my dear babe friends on a dark wet horrid night in Scotland xx

Hi babes,

Anne, I am glad that the funeral was as good as it could be. Am sure you are drained by all the emotion of the day now. Well done on remaining in control of the WW.

Kelly you must be in a tailspin right now, what a shocking thing to be told. As the other posters have said, keep posting and let us try and support you.

Mouse. I was thinking about you today. If this week doesn't pan out, then perhaps you could let MIL care for Nemo on the Saturday she is staying and you and Dh could make the trip to see your mum together. You would still have Mother's Day with MIL on the Sunday. Not sure if Nemo is confident with your MIL but wanted to suggest it incase it may work x

Waves to joey, baby, rural, I'm and all other fabulous babes

Am on day 8 and have a class lined up for tonight which should deal with witching hour. Could very easily succumb to the sofa and tv instead though. Darn that thought

Love to all xx

Thanks babes. I'm a bit pissed but gonna get back to it tomorrow. Waiting for my appt x

kelly I've been pissed for much less, big hugs and you'll be fine, as we say in Scotland "I can feel it in ma watter" spelling mistake to emulate scottish slang!! huge squishy hug xx. beaches you rock babe, your progress and steely determination is spurring me on, who knew a stranger in RL could affect me this way, it's a testament to your amazing and thoughtful posts xxx

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Beaches - Nemo wouldn't stay without one of us (DH or I) being here too just with my MIL/FIL because he sometimes picks up on her nerves to get it 'right' IYSWIM? Where as my FIL would just sit on the floor and play with him for hours! MIL would too but she's very cautious about his feeding tube.

Understandably.

Not only that, MIL was there when Nemo was rushed to PICU and almost died so I think that has never left her

Faire - He went to see a client and interviewed someone on Monday, then met up with his best friend who took him out for a chinese. His best friend has damaged his collar bone, so my DH said it was rather comical about the fact that he's reliant on others for once! Being a very proud man that he is!

This week, my Dad is off work for the week, so I could see him originally all week. Then I got a hospital appointment for the pain management team, which I have been waiting for, for months so I have to take it.

Then DH is away at him parents on the Thursday back on the Friday and my Dad is seeing my Bro on Tuesday, so that leaves Monday. I called him tonight and he told me that he's just worried about me travelling. He's being 'Over Protective Dad' which is fine and I love him for it. It'll take me almost 3 hours to get there so I will take something to read and something more technical if I need to get my head into something deep......

Anyway, I will be okay, more than okay actually, when I get to hold him, my hero and my Dad :)

So, as it lies, on Monday 24th of March, I will be getting on a train or three, on my way to see my Mum, where she rests, with my Dad, maybe with a drink inside me but just the one and just because of the enormity of the event.

I'm sorry if that let's anyone down, but I do still have the odd drink, and Monday may well be a day when one is required to celebrate my Mum's life.

She was a truly wonderful woman when she wasn't in pain and discomfort..... If I could've taken that hurt away from her, I would in a heartbeat, even with my own pain, I'd take hers as well. Just because I could.

Thank you Babes for all of your ongoing support, you have no idea how your support has kept me dry and not out of my face.

Thank you so much xxx

mouse what a lovely post. You and your family are special. xx

X

Just popping back in, made it to my class and am now back on sofa with tea and dark chocolate

baby reading your post warmed my heart, thank you so much xx. Also, enjoy your Saturday morning dance class

mouse I am so glad to hear you worked it all out. I hope you have a good trip on Monday and enjoy the special time with your Dad and your Mum.

Hi there soc and Im, hope you babes are doing ok