Sex issues

[Nostromo]

My OH has an extremely high libido. He would happily have sex every day, twice a day with a few knuckle shuffles thrown in for good measure.

I could quite happily never have sex again. It truly wouldn't bother me.

This difference in libidos is causing a problem. My OH will sit in his room for hours on eBay, barely spend ten minutes with me in 24 hours and then come in and ask if I'm up for it?

We have four kids, the oldest is 15, the youngest 10.

When I do capitulate, he lays back and asks me to be 'nice to him' his way of asking for a BJ. He always tries to get me to have anal sex and I just don't want that, thank you very much, but he never leaves it alone and constantly fiddles with my bum, saying I'd like it if I gave it a go.

I've tried telling him I'm not a porn star (he watches a lot of porn) and that those women have enemas and if he did it with me he'd get poo on him, but he just says he'll wear a condom.

When we do have sex he acts like he's in a porn film, and constantly asks if he can film close ups of our genitals doing it.

To be frank, I don't want to have sex with him anymore because of all these off putting sexual demands. He keeps trying to fist me and tells me if I just put up with a little pain he'll be successful and he gets all sulky and like a little boy when I tell him to stop, cos it hurts.

Physically, I don't find him attractive. He's got a big beer belly and cold flabby skin with wiry hairs and his breath is like sour meat at times.

I know, I'm moaning a lot, I know I'm not perfect either, but am I being unreasonable?

If you found a different partner, your libido would sky rocket. Trust me.

YY strive!!

You are worth so much more than this.
He is treating you like a piece of meat.

Apologies, I did have a bit of an overreaction there.

But the fact remains, if it is making a stranger on the internet that angry I cannot begin to imagine how you feel OP.

OP, this honestly makes my blood boil.
He plainly does not have the foggiest as to how to treat a woman in any respect, let alone sex!
The way you describe him, this is the type of man that I despise.
Trust me not all men are like this!

He has some VERY serious issues to deal with and unless he shows any sign of accepting that he has issues and wants to do something about it I suggest you take everyones advice on here with regard to solicitors etc etc etc.

Sorry but the next time his hand where anywhere near my arse, I'd be reaching for the nearest sharp instrument, shoving it up his arse and telling him he would enjoy once he got past the pain. And then filming it.

Look, you know he is a selfish cunt. This isn't mis matched sex drives at all. It is who he is

Stop having any form of sex with him. Get legal advice. And get rid of him.

Sorry love but this is physical abuse. Get out. You deserve better. I agree with Andy not all men are like this. But I would go further and say that very few men are like this. You have been very unlucky and got yourself a wrongun.

All of what you have written are surely perfectly good grounds for divorce. I think he sounds abhorrent. The only good thing about any of this is that he's not out there putting other women through this (or is he?).

Yuk, yuk and thrice yuk!!!

Speechless !!! The guy is a heartless cunt. Kick him out.

Something seriously wrong with this man, he needs help fast, I don't have a clue why you are even sharing the same oxygen tbh.

Nostromo your op made me shiver, what an absolutely gross twat of a man. Sorry, nothing constructive to add but holding out a hand.

Thanks all xx

Please leave this man Op.

You can do so much better than him.

I genuinely think once you are free of this disgusting pervert you will find your libido comes back completely. Although this really isn't about mismatched libidos, it's hardly a surprise you don't feel like doing it.
He has robbed you of your libido by being the way he is.

That aside, he cannot love you if he can treat you like this.
x

Oh my goodness

This man is a sexually abusive monster and you really do need to get away. You poor woman. Your OP made my flesh crawl so god only knows how it makes you feel

This isn't mismatched libidos. This is vile and serious sexual abuse. Please try and get away

nostromo you asked how you could advice without him finding out?
Does he also control your movements/where you go! If so, this is also very abusive.

Contact WA. they can advise you on ways to get out.
You can usually find a sol who will give you a free half hour consultation.

Also speak to your GP about the abuse. this is abuse.

This will help any future bid to get legal aid.

And if you can avoid it, don't capitulate. you don't like this man. you don't like what he does to you. you are not obliged to do anything with him.

And if he in anyway threatens or bullies you report him to the police either at the time or when you feel.able to.

Poor you OP. i hope you find a way out of this situation.

Agree with all that's been posted.

Prosecco is right: your libido will rocket when you meet the right guy.