Feel like a mug ... DH had an affair with my 'best friend'

[mug090]

Found out last night, had suspicions for a while and snooped through his phone ( low I know) and discovered multiple texts between them , some discussing what a nice weekend away they had together... he told me it was a business trip.

Best friend and OH work together, she introduced me to him a good 7 years ago !! best friend is single and has 2 children, I feel like a mug. My so called best friend has been shopping with me, helped me redecorate our bedroom which she most likely slept with DH in whilst I was on night shift.

They have had this affair going for 3 months so he says, could be longer. At the moment I feel nothing is that normal ? what is normal anymore, I love him and yet I want to throw him off a cliff, I don't have anyone to turn to my best friend was the one i'd talk to. Spoke to my mother and im going to stay there for the next few weeks need to get out of that house despite it being mine.

Best friends and OH have moved in together not sure if it's permanent .. don't want to know, not sure what they have told her kids who know me and my OH very well.

I'm such a mug, she is this super skinny, big boobed beautiful woman, I have always lived in her shadow being short and plain... and now I have lost my OH to her.

I'm sorry I need to write this down, I need opinions I don't know what to do next. He sent me a text this morning explaining he regrets it that he loves me and she was his weakness . He wants to meet up and talk it through, I don't want to see his face for a few weeks I need to sort myself out. Got work tonight not sure if I can face it, I feel everyone knows, everyone knows what a mug I am, that woman who's husband ran off with her best friend right under her nose.

OP, you're amazing - an inspiration. Rock those skinny jeans

I'm glad you forwarded her that text. Now I think you need to be firm, no contact other than, you'll be hearing from my lawyer.

Definately amazing

Ugh OP he sounds horrid & you are certainly doing the right thing. No major joint assets, no children, so fingers crossed for a nice clean break for you and glad your brothers are giving you the support you need.

They've not just 'been shagging', they've had a dirty weekend together. That's not 'weakness' that's calculated planning.

You're not a mug - you're not taking him back and you know you can do better.

Ok Mug

You are doing fine. It is early days but look to the future and not the past. The past is one place you are not going to.

You have a whole new (scary) world to explore and you will have fun doing it I can promise you that.

My ex-dh had an affair with his best mate's wife. It destroyed our marriages and at the time I was distraught and the lowest I have ever been.

Now I am the happiest I have ever been. Their 'relationship' didn't work out. He cheated on her and moved in with the OW and then cheated on her!

When he left I scrubbed the house from top to bottom and removed all trace of him.

Keep strong, talk low, talk slow and don't say too much. Focus, focus, focus and pin up a poster of where you wish to go or something you have always wanted to do. Sounds stupid but it is a 'plan' and something to aim for.

Keep strong, talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much excellent and advice, redruby.

OP, don't think this only happens to you, and you are the only gullible one, it's more common than you think.

This has happened to my DSis.

And also two really close friends (I was great friends with two women, one of which, it transpires, had been conducting a lengthy affair with the others husband). Awful time for all involved including the whole social circle.

You do sound amazing.

You weren't allowed your skinny jeans OP?
'trying to pass as a slut' Give me strength.

Well guess what? he's found someone who fills that role.
So desperate for an illicit shag that they shit or their own doorstep? Not exactly classy is it.

You rant, you get it all out of your system and you move on. You have a home that they could only try and mosey in on, you have family and friends who genuinely love you and you can free yourself of this relationship.
Scrub your house, chuck stuff out, smash stuff up if you want to, get a new bed and do some decorating. Treat yourself, maybe get a hair restyle, you can please yourself, wear what you want and be absolutely grateful that STBex showed his true colours now and not way down the line.

Friday night with the girls for you.

You sound like an amazing and strong person OP, they are utter lowlifes.
You hold your head up high dont compare yourself to her she sounds truely awful- and her poor dc must be finding this all very confusing.
You will move on and be happy they will be left in the filth of their creation fuck them don't even give them any time they don't deserve it

Iv just put on the skinny jeans I bought over Christmas that I wasn't allowed to wear as I looked like a "washed up Middle Ages woman trying to pass as a slut"

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you're really had a lucky escape.

What a fucking prick!

The more you post, the more you reveal that that you've dodged a bullet.

You're worth more than that cunt and slapper will ever be, remember this.

I sent my ex-dh a postcard from every country I went to on my round the world year long backpacking trip after I divorced the wanker.

I am sure he wasn't heartbroken at losing me but it did feel great knowing he was stuck in a job he hated with the OW who turned out to be the hell cat from hell while I had a ball and great sex in exotic countries.

OP - seize the day and turn this horrible situation into a plus for you. It might be a once in a lifetime opportunity. Grab it with both hands.

You are best out of this marriage OP get out now, they dererve each other,
This happened to my cousin, her DH went off with her best friend, my aunt said she knew something was going on as the best friend would never look my aunt in the eye, anyway, they are now divorced, her exDH is still with the best friend, my cousin has re married and all 4 of them go on holiday and socialise together
Bloody weird and not recommend!
go OP you rock, you are the winner here

I remember one evening shortly after DH and I separated and he had moved out. He came round to see me all worried that I wasn't eating (I lost shedloads of weight) and hugged me. I had by this time driven myself demented at the thought of him and the OW and how he was going back 'home' to her place.

Something just 'clicked' in my brain and I said to him "Please make love to me one last time"

He replied "Yes darling" and took my hand to lead me upstairs.

I let go of his hand and said very firmly whilst looking him straight in the eye;

"That showed how strong your loyalty is to her" and showed him the door and slammed it shut. I will never forget the stunned look on his face!

If it is your house, then change the locks and chuck his stuff out - bastard. Leave them to it.

What shits they are. And welcome to each other.

You have had such a lucky escape. Imagine if you had kids..

I would have been tempted to pee in his binbag of clothes

redruby - RESPECT :)

If she's so great with her skinny ass and big boobs why did she want your husband. I bet she's jealous of you. Skinny and big boobs don't really count for much. Self respect, strength of character and warmth are all strengths you seem to have in abundance. That's why he married you and that is why she wanted to be your friend. They will both be sorry to lose you. When the shock has subsided you will not be sorry to have lost them. These two are nasty and everyone will see that. Being trusting and honest does not make you a mug.

You are not a mug, you are fan-bloody-tastic.

Redruby

OP - Your last post has shown just how much you haven't lost - just what you've got rid of.

Redruby you're fucking cool!

Redruby I just backread your post about sending him postcards. Can we hang out?! ;-)

Evening all , locks are changed his stuff is outside the farm gates ready for picking up and I'm ringing a divorce soliciter in the morning . had no sleep last night I drove myself to mums at 2:30am in tears and spent the night in mums bed felt about 4 again ... Not 34.

I turned my mobile back on which hasn't stopped buzzing with texts ranging from begging to informing me how stupid I am ? I'm angry today , angry he should think he is Bette than me and that my life is a doomed time bomb without him. I'm also feeling like doing crazy stuff he stopped me from doing ... I'm going nightclubbing next weekend , I rang up work and explained the situation to my manager who has given me 2 weeks off , I'm thankful for that .

Good riddance to the pair of them you're worth more than this pair of prats x