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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Temporary dip in our sex life or is my wife just not that into me?

53 replies

GrandpaInMyMicrowave · 03/02/2014 07:19

We have two children, both difficult births for my wife. Our sex life isn't back on track yet. We've had many heart to hearts. However there is a very real gap in our libidos and it had been putting a strain on our relationship.
I had come to terms with the fact that our sex lives just needed time, perhaps another few years until the children are back at school. In the mean time we've been managing sex a couple of times a month. It might have been more but my wife has struggled with various ailments: serious tooth trouble culminating in a very painful root canal treatment, coil fitted, heavy periods, sick children over X-Mas etc).
This weekend I took the kids away for the day to give DW her regular (fortnightly) day off. In the evening I used the computer and spotted on the icloud tabs in safari that she had been looking at porn. There were two porn video sites and another with erotic stories.
Later that evening I was hoping 'tonight was the night', and her tooth ache flared up again. I believe it is very sore - the abscess is clearly visible.
I'm not particular bothered about her looking at porn, but I was more concerned about her later deleting her history. (And yes I admit to snooping on her phone to see what she was looking at).
I think I'm worrying over nothing but I wondered if anyone could provide an alternative perspective on this.

OP posts:
diagnostic · 06/02/2014 21:05

If she's on the pill, it could be that that's crushing her libido. Just putting it out there.

GreenRedBlueYellowPurple · 06/02/2014 22:18

I would say don't worry about it now. Satisfy yourself sexually and leave her for a bit. Work out ways that might be interesting to add spice to your sex life and either spring them on her or talk to her about them. If you come up with some suggestions, or new sex ideas, that would be good I think.

GreenRedBlueYellowPurple · 06/02/2014 22:19

And... yeah... seduce her!!!

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