please help me understand my "husband"

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If I am sad & Crying, he gets Angry with me and start provoking me by saying he doesn't want to see a miserable & sad face,
If I am strong, he says I am a big head and should agree to everything he says,
If I suggest something, make plans for the family... he says I am a control freak,
Don't know who to be or how to be:(
I should have no feelings of my own and be the way he wants when he wants....!!
What a Life, not being able to Express the way you feel as & when..:(( so Sad

He's a bully, OP, and he's making threats so you don't call the police - they would protect you and see straight through his lies - how often must they hear that rubbish that he's threatening to say to them? All the time, I imagine.

He's a vile, nasty piece of work and the sooner you and your DC are away from him the better. Incidentally, I found my home to be a calmer, happier place once XH had moved out - I think that helped my DS1 to tackle his GCSEs better than he would have done in a rapidly deteriorating atmosphere. Kids can sense the stress even though it may not be apparent to you that they do.

W.G.N: Women & Girls Network
www.wgn.org.uk

So when I go to the Refuge with my kids, he will have total freedom to access and make use of the house... Thus bring the girl he is cheating with to live in the house or can I use any injunction on him.. He has threaten in the past to bring whoever he likes in his 50% share if the house:((
My mum is on visit from abroad since last Saturday. On Sunday while husband's sister & her husband were visiting to see my mum... He spent more of his day sleeping and criticising most things I do or say while I spent my day in the kitchen cooking for 7 people, taking care of 3 children inc. 19 months old baby...
As my sister in law was leaving, he started criticising the fact that I knew nothing about chimneys...at this time, my mum got in and told him that he should have some appreciation for all the hard work I did in our life together and in particular on Sunday.
Guess what, he answered my mum back by saying that she did not bring me up properly and I was a failure as a result.
The situation turned into an argument between him & my mum who told him in his face what a bad husband he was, cheating on me, treating me badly...when he accused my mum and all of us brothers & sisters to have killed my dad who passed away to prostate cancer in June 2009.
It's been a week now and my mum is adamant not to talk to him ever and he never attempted to apologise to her.!!

Go and see a solicitor. Some still give free initial half hour consultations. Talk to WA, they are trained in abusive relationships, and yours is, I'm afraid. WA will be able to support you in RL, and give help and advice. They may be able to recommend a solicitor. Try to find one experienced in family law.

I'm sure there'll be a way to get him out of the house, but you may have to go to a refuge first. If there is a flat, he could move there while you and the children stay in the house (do you really want to?), and I'm sure the Courts would expect that.

OP, I really hope you can get out of this situation. I also hope your children will be with you. Your DH is so spiteful, mean, and he is also a psycho. You really need help and asap.