My son has a girlfriend :-(. (Long and pointless)

[JackieOHH]

And I don't know how to handle it! He's not told me, I found messages on his fb ( he's 11 by the way,). I've told him that while I pay his phone bill I will periodically, check his phone. Please don't tell me I'm invading his privacy because he's 11, first yr at high school.
Anyway, on Sunday he was vile to us, arrogant, rude, objectionable- and argumentative. My first thought was someone's having a go at him, as we've been through this before ( friend was sending vile bb messages, had to get school involved).
So, this girl it seems to me, is being quite pushy. Telling him she loves him, why won't he kiss her.
OMG he's 11!!!
He's saying, let's see what the future holds, love you too etc but I'm scared to death this girl has stolen my baby!

I'm not sure I'd feel a bit better if he told me about her, but he hasn't. He and I ( usually) get on well, but my heart hurts.
I know I need someone to pass me a grip.
Does it get easier? Bloody hope so.
On the flip side, my dd (17) hasn't had a sniff of a boyfriend yet!!

PS - I do think we can project upon our children sometimes. The boy is off to a sleepover party at a girl's house this Saturday. Seems well organised. Adult supervision from mother who is great, limited numbers etc....yet the first thing I say is: "No alcohol. No tobacco." He looked mortified and said: "mother (sign of righteous indignation), who do you think I am?". I apologised and remembered that the whole chip off the old block thing doesn't always hold true. Thank goodness.

Ok Tinsel, I kinda see what you're getting at but you're wrong.
It was quite light hearted that I saw her as a temptress, and quite frankly he seems so unbothered by her it's funny.
I tried to broach the subject today " it's valentines day soon, so do you need to buy a card for anyone?"

He looked at me like I was mad.
She has a big sister ( who has a boyfriend, Facebook can tell you all sorts when privacy isn't set high enough).
Why he has a phone ( not contract) and Facebook is BECAUSE his older sister does and he was always saying how great it would be blah blah, so I dispelled the myth and let him have fb, on the understanding I monitor it. He rarely goes on.
Anyway, this girl has tagged him as 'in a relationship with' so I asked him about her.
He just said he was gonna tell me. So I said, ' if you want to tell me about her I'd like to listen, when you're ready' and then he went out to play.

I'm not sure Tinsel where you're ideas of me gender stereotyping my children comes from? Although they are different sexes, they are also EXTREMELY different people, with opposite personalities. So when my dd was 11 I had to protect her far more from situations than I do with him as he is far more streetwise.

Both of them have forced me to look at things in different ways.
I do think tho, that my son really isn't that bothered by this girl, who has posted endless preteen drivel updates about her self, her dog, her sister, her hair style and he's not liked or commented on any of it, as, like I say, he doesn't really bother with fb.

That's what I wondered. They're not overly interested in it really, are they? There was a girl in year 6 who sent mine letters. I think he found it embarrassing and awkward. He also thought she was a bit crazy but, being kind, didn't want to offend her. If he's generally 'meh' about it then he was probably just having the standard pubescent stop at the weekend.

I'm sure it will probably only get worse for us both!

Jackie when I said is this about you I meant how it's making you feel about yourself. Your earlier posts seem to be largely shock that your baby is no longer a baby and you are not a young mum anymore.

You seem to be problematising this unnecessarily. Why does your son need to talk to you about it? I doubt you're succeeding in hiding your feelings towards this evil tigress so he can hardly say, 'yeah I'm seeing a girl, she's a bit nutty and confusing, but it's alright'. You seem to have decided that this is a big anguish for him but maybe he's doing OK? He can find her a bit annoying without feeling the need to run to mummy for her to fix it. Adolescence is about breaking away and getting some healthy privacy. Thinking of this as self-soothing for the acne years.

Also you're cyber-stalking other teenagers now? Do you want to take a step back? And ask yourself why your son seems to attract overbearing women?