So, I tried to namechange but it wouldn't work.

[Caff2]

I am in a happy relationship; I love my partner and we have two kids. A lot of crap has happened recently in my life (work related, been awful), and I'm trying to see a way through.

I have a friend, I've known him for twenty years, since we were 15 or so, and over the years when single, we have had a bit of a "thing" occasionally. Last time was about three years ago when my partner and I were "on a (brief) break".

He's been in contact recently and asked me if I'd like to go and see him for a break from all the (fairly awful) stuff that's going on. Thing is, I'm not sure how altruistic his intentions are, plus I feel quite wretched and miserable at the moment.

I shouldn't go, should I?

This situation has potential affair written all over it. That's why you're getting a hard time - it would be utterly ridiculous of you to go, and would be 99% likely to lead to cheating. Open your eyes and deal with whatever is dragging you down WITHOUT shagging or snogging some other guy.

This bloke knows you are having a rough time. He knows you have slept with him whilst on a "brief break" from the same bloke. He invites you for a "break" with him ? Come on, you know what is on the table and so does he.

OK. Back to the drawing board re: escape. I might just get a train to a random destination and think for a couple of days instead?

It sounds like a very bad idea. Surely it would upset your partner? How would it be a break if it is something that would cause more problems? You wouldn't be escaping your problems just making them worse.

If your friend was actually a real friend he wouldn't even suggest this.

Mr Luvvie Man is not a friend of your relationship. You know this. I see you are now saying you are definitely not going though, that is a good decision.

You say you are in a happy relationship. Why can't you talk to your P ?

AnyFucker - in the interest of fairness, taht's not the sum total of my friendship with him. As I said, he is ne of my oldest friends, is child free and has a free weekend.

Does your DP know that you've slept with him? Does he know one of these times was when you were on a brief break from DP?

Nope, not having it. You both know what is on the table.

OK. Anyway. This wasn't so helpful in the end, but thanks anyway. Guess closer to home and not the internet is better.

I think the plan to have time away is a good one. But not that plan.

S'ok, I'm off now. All the best to you. Talk to your Dp, your GP, your local friends, anyone but this other guy if you value what peace of mind you still have. Good luck x

Thanks. Not a lot of peace of mind at all at the mo, but I expect it will all come out in the wash somehow.

< glances back >

Where is everyone else ? Op, if you are still there, do you think you may be suffering from anxiety or depression and things are getting on top of you? Have you access to any occupational health at work or seen your GP ?

I am off work currently with a two week note for workplace stress. And have some sleeping tablets and anti depressants, but not kicked in yet. Have to see the GP again on Friday so will talk to him/her rather than looking for internet answers.

Just how will a liaison with an old fuckbuddy improve your life at the moment, when you are back home with your kids and your dp, and in the cold light of post shag day?

I am also about to lose my job ( as soon as sick note runs out they are suspending me) this will be end of my career. My older son is causing a huge amount of worry. A close friend has secondary bone and liver cancer, from a teeny breast lump in November. We're fucked for money and my life from being cool and no problem in July has fallen apart. Oh, and we cannot afford the rent when I lose my job, so that's going to be a right laugh too.

Give the anti depressants some time to work.

Is the work situation likely to get better or worse ?

Have you got any girlfriends that you could go and visit for a break?

It is very difficult if you've had a sexual relationships with someone when you care about each other to keep an appropriate physical and emotional distance when one of you is in need of major TLC.

Sorry, cross posted.

That sounds like a fucking nightmare, all of it. What is your DP saying ?

I am sorry about your friend, I have lost two friends to cancer since October, it is shit. I am also sorry about your job situation, and your finances.

A trip to London will not solve any of these problems, but rather add to your overall situation of unpredictability and difficulty.

The work situation will get worse in the next day or two when the suspension letter comes, although I know it's coming, so not worse really.

Have you taken advice regards your suspension?

I am sorry. Have all the correct HR procedures been followed and nothing more to be done re. your job ? < trying not to pry too deeply >

Yes, it's correct, although there's a legal route I could follow, but I'm not tough enough. Just want to run away.