Annoying sil and family issues money business etc

[Bedtime1]

My husbands family are ambitious particularly one sister but with that she's just bossy and tries to takeover and muscle in on everything .

My husband has his own company which he's been quite successful and worked in this field for years and eventually set up his own company in it. His dad retired from his own business but different industry and did very well. Therefore he wanted my husband to use the money in the dad's company to invest etc my husband has all expertise as it's same field husband is in. He's been doing it for his dad for about 8 years and getting paid etc and one off payments. Now comes other family members . They have degrees but not done much . She does abut if admin. (This requires 3 hours a week) that's it for company. She has no expertise at all in this field. Anyway the dad wants to pay all kids a payout each year and they get a small salary.

Anyway the dad is changing things up and wants to give my husband more money for various deal he finds and all of a sudden now she wants in. After 8 years of him running it all. She wants to come to these meeting etc and she knows nothing about it all. I think it takes the piss.

What do you all think? Then she gives herself all these posh names and she only does a bit of admin.. Where as husband has all qualifications.

Why does she suddenly want to get so involved.

I'm sick of going to family meals .
Would you be a bit annoyed

i think you dislike sil.
I think if you don't like family meals, don't go..
I also think, so long as your husband is happy with what he gets I can't see why you need to allow yourself to care about what fil agrees with his daughter.

Honestly unless I'm missing something, You need to step back and ignore this.

Even though I feel she's taking advantage.

Husband makes me feel bad about going and if I don't go ever then what will happen?

It's her dad's money. He can give her some if he wants. Maybe he is pleased that she is getting involved, maybe he will train her, maybe he just wants to give her a job.

I would stay right out of this one really not for you to get involved in.

I am not clear on how it is impacting on you. Is your DH complaining? Are you constantly at family dinners? Is your DH working long hours for them and never home?

He does put in a lot of time yes! I think she is trying to get involved now because of money.

But I think it won't be fair

I'm afraid what you think doesn't matter. People don't always treat their kids fairly or based on ability. If he wants her to be involved and give her money, thats down to him. His business, his money, his daughter. Any objection you have will make you look grasping and its none of your business

I think I get what you mean.

Your DH has done investments etc for your FIL and been paid for it. the SIL wasnt interested, but was happy with the earnings FIL paid her for the 3 hours a week.

But now that your FIL is talking about putting some serious money into things, and your DH would directly benefit, she is suddenly interested and wants to get involved?

It does sound to me like she is only in sticking her oar in because she thinks he might get more than her and she is frightened of missing out.
I agree that it isnt fair that your DH does all the work and she is expecting a fat share of the profits, but sadly I dont think that there is anything you can do about it.

What is your DH's opinion?

That is to say, there is nothing you can do about it. If it is to be dealt with, it should be done by your DH.

No that's true they don't always treat there kids fairly but as his wife I care.
Why would I look grasping when she's the one after 8 years who suddenly starts wanting to go to everything that she knows nothing about. His dad's only made the money in the company because of my husband.
I'm suspicious of her motives. It's very strange..
His dad's company and ours are separate but linked sometimes. Eg our company has lent his money etc and vice versa.

Yes bogey that is mostly it and I'm suspicious of her motives. Thanks I'm glad someone understands. What would you do?

She's always made snide comments at me not really nasty but just strange things like I married a business man whilst she's married someone who doesn't make much ( I can't say profession as worried about privacy) she jokes a bit about the comments but maybe now that she's heard the dad's new arrangements she's jealous because he will get more but the dad's company has made a lot due to my husband without his knowledge it wouldn't have. Maybe she's jealous of my husband but without him she wouldn't have the money she has now.

I can't obviously say anything to his family but I'm finding it difficuLt.

Bogey - she's had some earning but also some big payouts - dividends too.

I wouldnt do anything because as you are not directly involved in the business, it isnt your place to. If you worked for it or were a director then that would be a different matter.

You havent said how your DH feels about this new arrangement and her getting involved. Have you discussed it with him?

It really must be down to him to bring it up. Sadly money brings out the worst in some people, often those that have the least right to it are the ones that want to the most.

If it's your FIL's business and not your husbands then I think your SIL has every right to become active in the business. After all it is something HER father set up and established. While I get that your husband has helped your FIL by making investments it wouldn't be fair if only he was benefiting from the family business. She is entitled to become a part of it as much as your husband already is.

I think it is selfish of you to want only your husband to benefit from your FIL's business and you should step back

It's not a typical business as it's investment it's different from a daily business .This is investment and in a certain field. She can only do admin. ( 3 hours a week) it's not a daily family business.

They all get something equal every year and paid for the work they do. My husband gets more obviously. She does a few hours admin. It only seems to have come about that she's now trying to get involved in what he's doing as his dad feels he has made him a lot of money and wants to give him more and wants to incentivise him so they all benefit. She's not made a penny for the company . She can't because she's not qualified in it. She benefits through what my husband does. They all benefit the more my husband makes.

I don't understand your problem. Your FIL gave your husband money, enabling him to make more. Now he wants to give bigger payouts to your husband for work he brings in - very generous. Why enjoy the advantages your husband has had (yes, he's worked hard and made money in his own right, but sounds like he's also done well out of FIL).

Why is it wrong that SIL wants to take up this chance to earn more? You sound quite patronising about her admin work. Not like she's just doing the same 3 hours and expecting more, from what you say. She now wants to put in more effort, going to more meetings... Not exactly something for nothing, is it? Maybe she'll learn more when she does that.

I can't work out what the problem is - which usually means a backstory!

What do you do?
Don't you benefit the more your husband makes, through the luck of being "family?".

Your husband got capital from his father - yeah, he then made money from it for his father - but for himself too.

She might only do admin - but you understand that someone has to do the admin? Your husband could have done it himself - or his dad. I don't understand all the details, you're not very clear - I guess for anonymity.

But look, this is how businesses work... Company A has a secretary. Company B makes lots of money. Company A benefits. Company A gives secretary a raise. Therefore, Company B funded the secretary's pay rise. Symbiotic.

Your SIL sounds sensible enough, trying to get more involved. Your FIL will only pay her what he thinks is fair. If your H wants to make more out of the money he makes for FIL, he needs to put his commission up. Right now, it's FIL's business what role his daughter has. And if she attends more meetings and can't pick it up and he pays her for not doing much - his business, not yours.

You just sound jealous tbh. Which is not even a criticism - I'd be jealous! But better to recognise that and keep your beak out. Let you husband deal with it if he wants to.

It's not meetings as such. You have to be qualified for it. She does get more than a salary . She gets dividends.

She's said patronising things to me in the past about me. It's the expecting to reap benefits from my husbands work eg extra when's she's not built it up in the last 8 years and sat back and done nothing, she doesn't have any other job as she gets enough off her dad. I think she's jealous therefore like bogey said trying to bulldoze her way in now as though she's the boss.

If she wanted to make money then she could come up with her own idea as her dad would probably give her some to invest, not try to take credit for his work.

I presume she's had dividends because your FIL has done that in order to avoid tax? Lucky her.

And he did used to do the admin did my husband.

She's had a good do. Now I think she wants to takeover like she's the boss. Or trying to . When she's had hardly anything to do with it.

This isn't her fault though, is it? That her father uses his company as a front to give her pocket money and pay dividend tax rate instead of income tax rate. Like I say, I'd be jealous... but wouldn't you do it for your child?

She isn't taking any money from your husband. It's from her father. That he makes it from your husband's work isn't relevant. Your husband either needs his father'a company / money to have grown or grow further, or he doesn't. If he doesn't - then cut the business relationship. Sounds like he gets some kind of commission. If he does still need his dad - suck it up, it's his dad's business (literally!) how he pays his staff.

Like I say - I'm jealous reading it, would love an effort free dividend from daddy. But what she gets doesn't detract from you. Why get get up over it?

Yeah, your husband used to do the admin. Now he chooses to outsource it to her?

You said she's been patronising to you, but you found patronising about her too.

The bossiness - do you work there too?

If not - just tell your husband you don't fancy too many family dinners.

If you don't like her, you don't like her. But it doesn't sound like she's done anything wrong.