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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Rebound relationship

43 replies

louby44 · 17/01/2014 18:30

I split from my partner 6 weeks ago. My decision totally as he was very unkind to my 2 DS. It's a long story. He has anger and communication issues and I've found the split a lot easier than I thought I would - I feel relief. He has very quickly met someone within 3 weeks! My only problem is that we are stuck living together until we sell the house.

Anyway, I have met a very old male friend who has asked me out this weekend. I really am unsure what to do. In one way I'm enjoying the time to do my own thing but am very,very tempted to meet up and see what happens.

Is it too soon? I mean he isn't proposing marriage it's just a drink?

OP posts:

JeanSeberg · 17/01/2014 18:33

Go and enjoy the evening.

AnyFucker · 17/01/2014 18:40

Optimist1 · 17/01/2014 18:43

Go - regard it as a rehearsal for your future social life!

(Good to see you back, AF)

AnyFucker · 17/01/2014 18:44

Ooo, ta

YouSirName · 17/01/2014 19:14

Be honest with your ex. Even if it's just so that you are setting good grounds for moving on. Even though he's already found someone he might react badly, given his history, when finding out about another man in your life. If you can be proactively sensitive to him, it can only help. If there were no children involved I'd say go for it! As there are it might make for a better 'working relationship' between you.

Is the new man more grounded than ex?

JeanSeberg · 17/01/2014 19:16

They're only going for a drink...

Don't say anything at this stage.

AnyFucker · 17/01/2014 19:27

If her ex hadn't already dipped his wick moved on, I might agree with YSN

but really, why should OP be all conciliatory and cautious...it's not a woman's responsibility to look out for his feelings when he has done nothing of the sort

I wouldn't blame her for shagging the whole of the local rugby team, at the same time

Original poster

louby44 · 17/01/2014 19:40

He hasn't considered my feelings at all so I owe him nothing. We exist in this house, we don't talk, eat or even sit in the same room. He is very angry and bitter.

I'm going to meet my friend and see what happens. Can only be honest with him. Chance to show off my 1 stone weight loss!

OP posts:

JeanSeberg · 17/01/2014 20:06

Have a great time. Is it tomorrow night?

YouSirName · 17/01/2014 20:30

Think I came across all worthy before. Didn't mean to.

All I was thinking was that if there's anyway you can make the situation better it might be worth trying, just for the sake of your and your children's sanity. Might break through the bitterness and anger. If you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, i.e. living separately asap then ignore this completely!

Have a good night and show off good and proper!

Original poster

louby44 · 17/01/2014 21:42

Sunday I think although haven't yet confirmed! Will be nice to catch up and have a bit of male attention. May even buy something new to wear.

ExP is so eager to tell me that he's met someone who appreciates him...Lol, I appreciated him 3 weeks in....nearly 6 yrs later it was a different story.

Life goes on. Loom forward, not back as they say!

OP posts:

JeanSeberg · 17/01/2014 21:44

Who hasn't confirmed? You or him?

Original poster

louby44 · 17/01/2014 22:00

Me. To be honest another relationship is the last thing I am thinking about. But I will wonder....what if?

OP posts:

iamonthepursuitofhappiness · 17/01/2014 22:09

Not an old friend but a similar situation here in that I am going on a casual date after splitting up with my XP in December.

When he asked to meet me, I had a moment of "I can't, I've only just split up with XP but then I thought about it and decided it is a coffee, that is all. Why shouldn't I go out and meet new people because that is all it is at this stage. Is there a prescribed time period that I am meant to mourn the loss of my previous shitty relationship? No. So, fuck it, go and have a nice time

Original poster

louby44 · 17/01/2014 22:21

Happiness...that is so true! Good luck. Hope you find the happiness you're looking for!

OP posts:

elliebellys · 17/01/2014 23:05

Oo go nd have a fab time louby.:-)god help the new woman in his life,if she exists.he might just be saying it.

Original poster

louby44 · 17/01/2014 23:14

I think she does exist. She has 4 kids I think, the youngest of whom is 3!! So when he's 60 he will still have a 13yr old child in his life! Not the life he planned...but love conquers all eh!! His kids are nearly all grown up!

I keep smiling at a child seat in the back of his BMW!!! Great look!

I will post how it goes!! Excited!!

OP posts:

elliebellys · 17/01/2014 23:26

Lol abut his bmw:-).yep keep us posted,iv been wonderin how uv been getting on.:-)

Original poster

louby44 · 18/01/2014 18:50

We're on for the date! Feeling a bit nervous but very excited!

OP posts:

elliebellys · 18/01/2014 20:51

U,l be fine.have a great time:-)

JeanSeberg · 18/01/2014 21:41

Where are you going? Did you treat yourself to a new outfit?

Original poster

louby44 · 18/01/2014 22:55

Just to the pub. And yes new outfit purchased.

OP posts:

elliebellys · 20/01/2014 10:14

How did it go louby?

Original poster

louby44 · 20/01/2014 17:24

It went fab! Really, really nice evening. Loads of catching up and flirting. I went back to his for a coffee (and ended up having a cheeky snog) but I had to get back to my DC so wasn't late.

We've text a bit today and hoping a second date will happen. Infact if it doesn't I shall be really disappointed.

Thanks for thinking of me!

OP posts:

JeanSeberg · 20/01/2014 17:27

Hey that's great louby, hope you feel you made the right decision to meet up with him.

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