Having tried to stay together for the sake of our dd I've realised it just isn't possible. I'm trying to think through a plan for the best way to separate before raising it with dp. Theres noone in RL i can talk to about this so would really appreciate any thoughts from those who have gone through a separation.
Dp and i have a toddler dd. Both dp and I work full time and earn around the same. We own our house jointly though I own a greater share as I paid a large deposit (we have a written agreement to reflect this).
I think dp would want to continue living in the house from comments he has made in the past. I would be willing to move out and dp could buy out my share. He is as close to dd as I and is a great father so I have no reservations except that people will think I'm a lousy mother.
Whilst dp would be the resident parent I'd expect to continue to collect dd from nursery every day and help with bath/bedtime. I'd suggest we take a day each at the weekend but that dd would always sleep at the family house. I really think she is too young to keep swapping between homes. I also think this way she continues to have a quiet, familiar, spacious home with a garden rather than moving between two cramped, noisy flats.
My hope is that we can be amicable but I don't really know what sort of reaction I'll get from dp. Is there anything else i should be thinking of? I feel awful keeping this secret from dp and his family. I think having to lie to everyone over Xmas has made me realise I can't continue like this.