Post-baby sex.

[Justnotmyself]

NC for this as I don't really want to link it to my usual posting name.

I had my second baby 7 weeks ago by cs. I put on most of the weight I'd lost prior to the pregnancy, and I'm now about 30-35lbs heavier than at the start, I also have the jelly belly and overhang that often comes with the postnatal period and a cs. I'm bfing, and DC2 is still feeding whenever, could be every 15 minutes or up to 3 hours.

I've been with DH for 13 years and we've always had a brilliant relationship, I fancy him as much now as I ever have and he says likewise, I have no reason to doubt this.

Things aren't great ATM as I just don't want as much sex as he does, or as I would normally. My body's a mess, I don't feel like it's really mine as I'm bfing so much, my pelvic floor wasn't great to begin with but it certainly didn't appreciate another pregnancy, and on top of having had an average of 4 hours sleep a night in 45-minute chunks for almost 2 months, I'm chasing an active toddler all day. I can't relax for 'spontaneous' DTD as I usually would, and DH is being really huffy about it. I want to be able to relax, not worry about my belly flopping about, I want to be able to wash before DTD as otherwise I'm paranoid I smell, I want to know that at least the toddler is asleep, I want to be able to hear the baby, and I want to know DH isn't going to huff and strop if we're interrupted by the baby.

I explained all this again to DH a couple of days ago after bursting into tears when he wouldn't stop pestering (that's how it felt) me in the kitchen. We then DTD later that day in bed, with toddler at his grandma's and baby asleep, very relaxed and I had the duvet for protection. DH said he wanted me to be comfortable, thinks I'm gorgeous, etc. I don't doubt him, but I still feel my body isn't mine and I look like shit. Guess what? He's just started pestering me again in the living room and gone off in a huff when I firmly told him no.

He knows this is a temporary state of affairs, I want to get back to how we were as much as he does, but it's going to take a little while. I don't know what I want from this thread, I guess I'm just offloading, but am I really being so unreasonable and horrible? I really don't feel like me right now.

Thankyou offred

JanineSthubbins, y get so nasty, I didn't know I couldn't put it on here, I haven't read the thread, and have no interest in other peoples personal business/or personal life, just googled the name, tbh I don't actually think it's any of your business to butt your nose in to my business, I'm a mum and a nanny using my initiative to look for a job, I am not a stalker of any shape or form and I personally think you're bang out of order for your comment, if you can't be helpful, please keep your opinions to yourself , cause I don't want to hear them!! Thankyou

Shilagh you are the one in the wrong here. I suggest you give a thread at least a cursory glance before posting in future and understand that this is not your private business but in fact a public forum.

Not nasty at all, Shilagh: simply pointing out how inappropriate your post was. I can't imagine any prospective employer taking on a nanny who tracked them down and read such a personal and sensitive post about their private life.

You really want a job with someone's whose husband is a knob and dreaming of shagging the nanny? I'd be a bit wary of hiring someone who was privy to that information and still applied!

Like I said I had not read post , it's none of my business,

Vas mama, as you rightly said , it is a PUBLIC forum, therefore I have every right on being on here as you do

And janinesthubbins, again, the choice on whether to employ me or not would be the choice of the lady in question , I will point out again, not your business

Sarahbumbarer, I have no interest in anyone else's husband, I am far better and more professional than that, I am not an idiot, thankyou, I've been nannying for 17 years and know what is right and what is wrong, thanks for all your imput, but perhaps you should now all get back to your own business

Unbelievable!!!

You have every right to post on this thread, but your posts must adhere to MN guidelines. Your advert broke the guidelines, therefore MNHQ deleted it.

Shilagh 'take a telling' as they say around here..