After 5 years where's it going ?

[Silver40]

After 5 years with my boyfriend I'm confused as to where this relationship is going, we see each other twice a week ( the same days week in week out ) we have had one holiday together, I now feel I need more of his time but haven't a clue how to approach this conversation with him, I have 2 children from my previous marriage he doesn't have children, I'm guessing his child is his business, I feeling so low as I'm realising I'm lonely most of the time, to make matters worse I have a friend who in a flash would marry me and that's what I'd love, to be married again and not have this part time life style...anyone else out there who is in a similar situation ?

I really don't understand why the men that want this type of relationship are getting a hard time? There is another thread at the moment from a woman who is being applauded for not wanting more. Surely as long as no-one is being 'hoodwinked' (which I doubt, it has been 5 years after all, she should have smelled the coffee by now) then it is all fair?

I have friends who have this lifestyle and I cannot see where they are hurting anyone as long as they are honest? Ok, sometimes a lady comes along who wants more but as long as communication is open they can then take the choice to move on and find someone like minded.

Communication is key here.

If you haven't told him that you want more, then he's not a bastard. He probably thinks you are as content as he is with the current situation.

If you and he want different things, then the best thing to do is split up amicably. But please bear in mind that this kind of relationship is not wrong in itself. (It would suit me, for instance). It's not compulsory to have a relationship at all, let alone for everyone you have sex with or spend time with to be obliged to progress down a linear path to marriage.

Solid gold, who mentioned him being a ba.....? Certainly not me, the only reason I came on here was to find out if anyone else out there was struggling like me to voice how they feel..simple, I know what I have to do and have know so some time and perhaps from the threads on here I might be able to, I was only looking for strength from other sources rather than friends and family.

This man is not a cock lodger. As far as I know, the mn definition of that term is a lazy, usually abusive twunt who lives off a woman in her own house and doesn't offer anything emotional or financial to the relationship (as opposed to a sahd etc). Am I right or wrong about that?!

I don't get the hard time this man is getting. OP has ostensibly been happy with this for five years, he's not a mind reader. Also if anything happened my dh, what you're describing op would be my ideal relationship... not all women want hearts and flowers!

Own your life! Tell him what you want but know that he might be more than happy with the status quo, in which case you need to make other plans. Good luck!

Hi silver, have you made any decisions on how your going to tackle this, feeling anymore confident in dealing with it ? X

Correct Hell, he is not a cocklodger. He hasn't asked or taken any financial help and is from what OP says quite generous. I think the OP just hasn't had the courage to speak up about what she would like. He may be just as old-fashioned, or not.

I hope OP gets the answer she would like.

Hmm well I may of got the term cocklodger wrong according to net mums but I guess we all have our own understanding of it. We're all different and want different things out of life and relationships, but I do think this man is if nothing else a little naive to think his actions would make someone happy I'm not sure he has made his intentions clear to the op this lifestyle suits him so he's happy to carry on, but really he should of bothered to find out in the last 5 years if silver is happy with this arrangement, that's what relationships are about aren't they communication. And yes op is slightly to blame for not been able to say anything , but quite frankly I've been there too you keep quite so as not to be the nagging gf but you can only keep that up for so long. Now it's crunch time just hope your getting some confidence from somewhere silver as you can't carry on like this can you xx

I will say something, not sure when, need to pick my timing, as running your own business is very stressful especially after Christmas, yes I'm making excuses again lol that's my trouble I guess timing, I know what I have to do and the posts on here confirm everything, thank you all x

Good luck, let us know how you get on xx

NET MUMS! Plerlease!

Oops sorry buzzard !!!!

Good luck OP