The Fascinating Girl by Helen Andelin

[muchtooshy]

One of my friends who knows that I am single and pretty bad with men said she would bring me the book she read before she met her husband.

It is The Fascinating Girl and she said it was wonderful and life changing and that she now has the married version.

I have flicked through it and some of it does appeal to me as it is quite old fashioned but I don't know if men are looking for the same things nowadays. Lots of stuff on femininity and a worthy character and radiant happiness. The first part is mostly about understanding men, the second is about qualities that men like in women, and the third part is about meeting and dating men.

Lots of references to book characters and I don't really know what to make of some of it.

I don't know - are men really interested in a domestic goddess who has gingham curtains and cheerful tablecloths?

Don't you need industrial strength antidepressants to help you go around with a permanent smile on your face, perfect makeup and gingham curtains?

It's no secret that many 1950's housewives had to take drugs.

It's also no secret that Mormon women are some of the biggest users of antidepressants in the US. Think on that.

If I remember correctly, Utah is in the top 5 states in terms of anti depressant use.

Ohhhh just read that this is the author of Fascinating Womanhood.

OP there's nothing wrong with enjoying domestic hobbies. But you're right to catch on that the "strategies" seem manipulative. The author believed in the kind of marriage in which the husband is the head of the wife. A lot of people who wrote/write about this kind of marriage think that the wife's role in it is to manipulate her husband around to seeing her point of view, b/c she's not allowed to contradict him outright or to question his decisions. She has to lead him around gradually and not be pushy and instead be appealingly guileless, and guilelessness is often associated with childlike demeanor.

Similarly, the reasons the gingham curtains are supposed to be appealing are 1) you should be looking for a man who is not only Christian but very old-fashioned about women, and therefore is thinking ahead to when you will be cooking breakfast for him and your children every morning before handing him his briefcase to that kind of man, the gingham will say that you are domestic and don't want a career or the last word on household decisions. 2) the book assumes that as a woman, you want and need to be a SAHM in a headship marriage, even if you don't know it yet therefore you will like the gingham, and the rest of it, once you try it.