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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Now single, in the total shit....

58 replies

oopsadaisyme · 03/01/2014 16:20

Been left with nothing, now:

Getting £26 a week taken off income support for an unknown fine and ancient budgeting loan, now totalling 2000 apparently, and due to my ex -

I pay 30 per week to top up my rent (so have just cancelled out my child benefit) - I cannot move the kids again

20 + 25 for gas and electric per week on meter

Debts owing, tv and council tax clears out the rest -

So how the hell do I feed and clothe my family?

I'm crying my eyes out writing this - I have no extended family, and balliff letters a plenty right now -

What do I do??

OP posts:
oopsadaisyme · 03/01/2014 20:28

Think I just need to go 'blahh' on someone else,

OP posts:
foolonthehill · 03/01/2014 22:21

To summarise from all of us above

1)Have a budget: where does it all go?
When there's not much coming in, you have to be completely aware about what you do have. Budgeting will show you exactly what you earn, and how you're spending it. Use a budget planner to track your spending. www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/Budget-planning from all of us above

  1. Maximise your entitlements entitled to or/and money saving expert or the government one

3)Find a bank account that suits you

Shop around for bank accounts, credit cards and personal loans
The cost of financial products can really vary. Here are some tips on how to shop around for bank accounts, credit cards and personal loans.

basic bank accounts with:

No account keeping fees
Free monthly statements
No minimum deposit amounts
No overdrawn fees
recommendations can be found on the money saving expert website here

and credit cards for people with debt and poor credit ratings here

  1. Find help

food bank via CAB

See if your local council offers a free crisis loan, they are much less common now but some councils will still do it for short term crisis funding.

Check online for local grants available for children starting/already in education...there are loads but you have to go looking and be prepared for some form filling. it will pay for school uniform, trips and sometimes homework aids like internet access at a basic level.

5)Smooth out your bills

Some months are more expensive than others due to big bills, birthdays or unexpected events? Smooth out the ups and downs of your expenses.

Mark your calendar
Gather together as many of your bills and bank or credit card statements as you can. (This is also the first step in creating a budget.) Highlight the big bills that come less often, like electricity, home contents insurance or school expenses.

Then work out what day or month each bill is usually due. Mark each bill on your calendar or yearly planner, together with birthdays and periodic events. you can alter the dates that bills go out by agreement with your suppliers... but also aim (not now but in the future when you are back in control) to set aside some money
Add up how much your big bills cost in total for the year. If you wish, add an extra amount for gifts and celebrations. Work out how much this is per pay or benefit period (for example, per fortnight).

Put this amount aside each time you are paid (you may like to set up a separate high interest, low fee account for these savings). Then you will have the money ready to cover the next big bill or special event.

Contact your utilities provider (gas, electricity, water) and ask about 'bill smoothing'. See if you can arrange to make fortnightly or monthly payments to them, instead of having to pay the whole bill in one go.

Home Energy Saver Scheme
If you are on a low income, you can get help from the government to heat and light your home. CAB will know about this.

Once your youngest is in school you will be able to look for work. with the determination and renewed strength that having your life back gives you i am sure you will pull yourself back and rebuild your life for you and DC.

I found that, for me, being self employed works as I can work lots of hours but am home for the children...it may not suit you but may be worth considering, however it doesn;t provide me with much in the way of adult company or stimulation so does have it's down sides too.

skyeskyeskye · 03/01/2014 23:09

Do you have a Sure Start Children's Centre near you? After XH walked out they offered support, provided counselling, and also had access to someone who could provide help with benefits etc. worth a visit if you have one nearby.

auberginesrus · 03/01/2014 23:57

Second everyone who has recommended speaking to CAB for debt advice, they are excellent but can sometimes be difficult to get an appointment. Some local authorities run debt advice or law centres which in my experience are also excellent, as is the charity Stepchange. If you do owe over £15k then you can get help with bankruptcy fees, British Gas for example have a fund which will pay the fees for customers who can't afford them as do other organisations. A debt advisor will be able to refer you. Beware IVAs, the monthly payments can go up end if you default you can end up going bankrupt anyway - the only winner there is the firm who takes their fee before the people you owe money to get anything. Best of luck with getting some short term help.

cjel · 06/01/2014 12:10

Morning,
How are you today? have you managed to access and support?

Joy5 · 06/01/2014 12:29

Hi

Just want to add rather then bankruptcy you can consider a Debt Management Plan, the free government agencies (so don't take any of your monthly payments as a fee), CCCs and Payplan.

It means the agencies deal with your creditors so you stop getting phone calls and letters, and you pay one monthly payment that is so small, (they will ask for your ingoings and outgoings), you will be able to manage to pay it. Your debt is also frozen so no more interest increasing your debt.

Know CAB are often so busy you have to wait weeks for an appointment.

ThisSucks · 06/01/2014 13:06

Try also Christians Against Poverty (capuk). They are fantastic and it matters not if you are Christian, atheist, Jedi knight...

AndWhenYouGetThere · 06/01/2014 14:06

I'd second the recommendation to CAP - they were fab with me.

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