Now single, in the total shit....

[oopsadaisyme]

Been left with nothing, now:

Getting £26 a week taken off income support for an unknown fine and ancient budgeting loan, now totalling 2000 apparently, and due to my ex -

I pay 30 per week to top up my rent (so have just cancelled out my child benefit) - I cannot move the kids again

20 + 25 for gas and electric per week on meter

Debts owing, tv and council tax clears out the rest -

So how the hell do I feed and clothe my family?

I'm crying my eyes out writing this - I have no extended family, and balliff letters a plenty right now -

What do I do??

Fool yes I did, what's your point???

I'm just looking for as much advice that can be given, and hoping I'm posting in the right place?

Is that wrong?

There is a charity called stepchange who will help with your debt relief order Aka bankruptcy. Costs about 90 You can put budgeting loan council tax and utilities debt into it. Please ring them. The relief is immense. I am currently in iva process I know what its like.

I do understand...i am on my own with 4.
Once you've gone through a great deal of anger (at him/yourself/the world), pain, crying, despair, etc you will find a way through it...one bit at a time.

you need an action plan and some crisis management.

the food bank is there for just these times. it will feed you for a month maybe. you can use that time to get your head round all your options, CAB, debt advice, etc.

When you are back on your feet you can donate a tin a week to the food bank and help someone else out. This is what it is there for, the best sort of instant access (ish) crisis intervention.

All this on top of your hurt and sadness at being on your own and all the New Year stuff is hard, but you will get there.

the point about having 2 threads is that it will be hard for people to give you advice if they don't know what you have already been advised. Not wrong...just harder work to give you constructive advice and harder for you to sift through it all.

though I do recognise that desperation of screaming out into the ether wondering whether there is a way through it all.

Are you getting Child Tax Credits?

You should be roughly looking at £70 IS - deductions and approx £104 per week CTC if you have two kids plus your Child Benefit.

Minimum repayments on social fund is in the region of £3.80 per week so you should ask for that to be reduced. If it was in both names it should be split evenly.

Hi Oopsadaisyme, that must be so stressful, but there is help out there - I second everyone's good advice to get some free debt advice from CAB or a local Advice UK centre, or from one of the telephone helplines above, although face to face advice might be more reassuring and would save you having to make calls and send paperwork in - also a local advice agency will be able to put you in touch with local charities to get you through in the short term.

So glad the TV licence fine is in your ex's name, and that the solicitor reassured you that you are not liable for this and it is absolutely not your problem legally. If the bailiff tries to hassle you again, remember he s acting on behalf of the magistrates court that fined your ex, and contact the court to complain about the bailiff.

Unless you owe more than £15000, a Debt Relief Order (DRO) may be a good option, as it has the same effect as bankruptcy and only costs £90. It covers credit debts, utilities, council tax and various other things, not fines or budgeting loans unfortunately, but your adviser can negotiate to make the deductions from your benefit more affordable. An advice agency might even be able to get you a charity grant to cover the fee for either bankruptcy or a DRO, and they can give you full advice on all your options in your situation and help you pick the best one for you. There will be an option that provides a solution for your situation, that will enable you to regain control of your finances and allow you to use your income for your essential living costs rather than debt repayment. They should also look into whether there's a way to make your housing/rent situation more affordable, and help you double check that you are getting your full entitlement to benefits.

Make sure you chase your ex for child maintenance as well if you're not doing so already. It doesn't affect your entitlement to Income Support; some people assume that it will do and assume that it's not worth pursuing, but the law changed a few years ago and you can keep all of your means tested benefits and all of your child maintenance now.

I hope your food and gas and electric last until Monday, try your local church if they don't, many parishes have emergency funds and they're more likely than anywhere else to open over the weekend, and then the advice agencies will be open on Monday.

Hi, op, have you looked at debt solution. In some cases 80% debt can be wiped out & you pay a minimal amount each month.

I unfortunately had to do this when shit hit the fan(through no fault of my own).

Good luck, op. There will be a solution.

X

You have had some great advice and I echo it, make sure you are getting maintenance from him. Contact. FREE debt advice service, CAB, DWP. Make sure that you know what debt is in your name and what debt is in his name.

The sooner that you get advice in sorting the debt out the easier it will be for you, with the stress and pressure being removed.

Go to the MSE website and find the budgeting spreadsheet to help with monthly planning.

I know your all giving some great advice right now, and really going to read through tomorrow with some less glossy eyes - crying alot, just hate this

thank you all x

If you are on a meter for gas an electric, paying off debt ask them to lower the repayments, a single parent out of work can pay £3.50, they wont tell you this though.
Instead of going bankrupt, and paying out £700, try an IVA, its free to get through CAB, you pay one amount a month that you can afford after paying everything else, an they up everything you pay out i.e for one adult an one child they allow you a £90 food budget a week.

Bailiffs cant force their way in for unpaid tv license, do not let them into your house.

They can take your tv, or luxury things i.e games consoles, they cant take a fridge or cooker, anything you need to live, if anything is not yours you'll need to prove it.

If you cannot afford food an electric, stop paying debts that are not important, catalogues or phones whilst you get it sorted.

MSE website has an excellent budget planner, I second that skye, have used it myself.

Please do see the CAB, the amount of people who feel better after speaking to them and feel some of the pressure taken off can't be underestimated.

If your children and you need food, please get referred to a foodbank, they are there for a reason and there is no shame in using them.

When I left my DS's Dad 17 years ago, I really struggled financially, he never supported his DS financially. I had food given to me by a church and I worked 3 jobs, it was hard but it can be done. You sound like you actually can't see the wood for the trees at the moment so take all the support that is available to you and you will get out of this rut.

It's the weekend so doing the online budget spreadsheet would be good and also to get together all your paperwork ready to speak to the CAB next week. You will start to feel slightly better when you put a practical plan in action.

I'm sorry you're in this situation.

Have no more advice than you have already on here, I would just say get referral to foodbank through school, church housing association, health centre etc.

I volunteer at one and wish the stigma would go. We all recognise that we could be in need at any time and when you are settled you will be able to donate to help others.
They may also have further advice on where to access the help and support you need,

Do not feel embarrassed - use all the help you need at the moment. It will soon be your turn to help others.
Dry your tears and start to reach out.xxxx

Bankrupcy is the last resort - I have been through hell with Debts, please feel free to PM and i can advise.

You need to stop panicking.

Please go to CAB who can give you the most comprehensive support as you have benefits and debt issues and are being harassed by bailiffs.

Take the food voucher they give you, pride won't feed your children, the foodbanks are lovely and by using it you'll be helping others as foodbank usage is being monitored (completely anonymously your details won't be attached to anything) as a social policy issue which CAB will lobby govt about on behalf of people with issues like yours.

Everything you say to CAB is confidential, they won't pass on anything even to the police unless they have a warrant or unless they strongly suspect you or someone else is at risk of serious harm. Having no money is not a reason they'd pass your details on so please don't worry about reaching out to them.

In the meantime here's some advice about bailiffs - www.adviceguide.org.uk/wales/debt_w/debt_action_your_creditor_can_take_e/debt_bailiffs_e.htm from CAB advice guide.

It is very helpful to understand your rights when dealing with bailiffs and this will help you do that.

Accidentally linked you to Wales advice there but the map at the top, if you click on that it will give you the relevant advice for where you are!
Sorry!

offred thanks x

Going to seriously batter the jobcentre next week to give me a job/s and support with childcare- I need to work, so hope they will help -

One step at a time. You'll get through it. Emergency things, so Bailiffs first and the debt advice and sorting out benefits and when things stabilise a little with regards to that (shouldn't be long), sort out job as if you get a job right now it will affect how the debt/benefits are managed and might throw it into disarray again. X

CAB can help with forms re the deductions and the debts/bailiffs. Can take the heat off you a bit and inform you of your rights so you feel more confident in asserting yourself but important to tell them if you feel there is anything you can't handle yourself for example speaking to the bailiffs or opening any letters you've been sent. If you take as much info as you can about everything they sometimes can send you through to an adviser (if there is one free) straight away.

offred agree, good advice x

Would cab offer help with food bank? I don't really want to go through health visitor?

CABs can give you a referral to a food bank, as far as I'm aware.

Yes, CAB do foodbank vouchers and IMO better to go through them as I said because they do monitor how many are being given out and why so they can argue for changes which help prevent stuff like this happening.

Have just finished training as a gateway assessor for my local CAB for clarity, so probably am a bit biased in their favour

www.trusselltrust.org/map have look on this and good luck, things can only improve from here.

offred maybe, but your the best placed to people like me asking for advice, so thank you very much xx

Oh yes, handfulofcottonbuds, good idea about doing a budget spreadsheet via the link or listing income and outgoings in some way over the weekend.

Oopsadaisy that would help your adviser to get things moving for you even sooner. A list of everything you've got coming in and everything you're trying to pay out will help. Don't worry if it doesn't balance - of course it doesn't balance right now and that's not your fault. Don't worry if you can't face doing that over the weekend, your adviser can help you with it and contact your creditors and ask them to put things on hold.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/Budget-planning

Here is the link, it will save time to have this all laid out.

Please can someone tell me how to do fancy links