Why does my family buy my children sort of dangerous presents?

[Rooners]

I'm not complaining as such. I love my family, and they are brilliant and very kind.

I just don't quite understand it and am wondering if it's an effort to give them something they feel I don't provide iyswim.

But I do feel a bit odd about it.

It started when ds1 was about 2 and my sister bought him a very fragile, thin glass lightbulb thing that you plug into the mains and touch it and it shoots little lightning sparks towards your fingers on the bulb.

Lovely - but lethal for a 2yo. I did let him use it very carefully with supervision, and then put it safely in a cupboard till it got smashed into tiny bits one day (not safety glass)

I mean it was beautiful but.

Then there was a proper penknife last year (he was 9) which was Ok and lovely but he is quite reckless and needed to be supervised with it, which I don't have a lot of time for.

Now my parents have given him a survival tool, sort of a Ray Mears type thing I guess - they did ring me from the shop to ask if it was Ok, but said it is a survival tool with a firestarting device, like a spark maker thing.

I hummed and harred and said Ok. They had kind of underdescribed it though - the firestarter is a mASSIVE spark, really unsafe in the house, and it also has on the other edge (credit card type size thing) a knife edge which is described as 'razor sharp'.

I keep thinking about it going

I mean they adore ds. It's just - I have to keep it, because he cannot be trusted with something like that. He is a little boy. It says on it 'not a toy, very dangerous' etc etc.

Maybe they think I need to spend more time with him? Probably I do - but there are other ways of enabling this surely.

He does love it but hmm..and then there were the super strength magnets that have a massive warning on about not letting them near your electronic equipment.

He has never had those in his possession because it would be costly to replace the computer, TV and DVD player I think. He was about 4 when he was given those.

There have been other things as well but I can't remember them all.

What are they trying to do here?

you need to find a forest school for him to go to, or as others said, scouts.
Those penknives/firesteels are not inappropriate for his age, its just that he hasnt had anyone teaching him about how to use them safely.

We teach 3 year olds how to light fire with fire steels so Im LOLing at your dad, the firesteel and the bonfire!!!

At 6 they do knife safety - my DD has about 3 different knives, DS had a firesteel at 6 - now he is 7 he is still hesitant to use a knife so we will leave that until he wants to. Its not the tool itself, its how they are taught to use them safely and to respect them.

Sorry Rooners it is quite funny!
DH bought DS a small drill for his fourth birthday. An actual bloody drill. This is the guy who still bears the scars of the welding incident involving his Dad when he was 6. (they're all as bloody bad as each other)
Fortunately it came in handy a few years later when DS was the only one not too fat to get onto the garage roof to fix it with said drill and a hammer, so it wasn't a total loss...

Sorry, I haven't read any answers but I read your OP to my DD (she's 23) and we are crying with laughter!!! What presents for a little boy!!!

I hope I haven't upset you by laughing. I'm totally sympathetic, and as I was a single parent for 10 years when my children were small so I know how you feel x

My ds got a fire starter from cubs/scouts a few years back for being the best to start fires. I don't think he's ever used it, but it was quite cool. I wonder if you could ask if the dangerous tpys might live at your parents place as it sounds as if your dad is the one who wants to play with them really! Cubs/scouts does sounds like a great option for your son though. Mine really enjoyed it (and so did dh and me - we went on lots of camps with them)

Not upset in the slightest - I love it when anyone thinks my posts are funny so that's cool

Nooka that is a good idea. I try and make sure that ds gets plenty of time with Grandad to try these things out, so when the folks come round, they disappear off into the wilderness up the garden and we kind of natter in the living room with the younger ones.

It works Ok at the moment though as I said, Dad is a bit nuts so we have to keep an eye. He frequently comes in injured and needs some sort of dressing.

Anyway I'm not sure if I am reassured to be healthily circumspect about the gifts, or concerned that they really are nutjobs but still - they are my family, and I love them.

And they really do care about the children, massively. It's just...well.

ds2 is supposedly starting beavers (had an email the other day, after I applied in October!) so I'll find out if there is a scout group that runs alongside.

You can use a bit of cotton wool with Vaseline smeared on it. The spark thingy should light that without leaving you eyebrowless! Learnt this trick camping this year!

excellent! Will pass that on! Thanks

Maybe you should ask your dad if he's thought about joining cubs/scouts as a helper? He might really enjoy it (and possibly learn safer techniques!) I know they are often looking for extra helpers.

On an alternative note, two of my dc's bought dh an axe for christmas.

My DS showed a passing interest in woodworking. The ILs bought him a lathe, a drill, several different saws and a vice for his 8th birthday.

To his credit, FIL then spent a weekend showing DS how to use it all properly and safely while wearing goggles and dust mask. DS loves it!

Join Scouts for definite. DS is a demon with a fire starter. He collects birch bark and cotton fluff for his 'punk tin'