Newly separated folk how was Xmas and NY?

[RollerCola]

I'm glad it's all over to be honest. I separated from my husband in July after 23 yrs, 16 married, 2 dcs 11 and 7. He moved out in September.

In general it's been wonderful since he's gone. I'm a new person, the children seem happy, we laugh a lot, everything is much much better.

But I did have a wobble a few weeks before Xmas and have found the festivities quite hard. Not because I want anything to change, but I think I'm grieving for the family we no longer have.

It started when the Christmas cards started coming with just 3 names on them. I couldn't bring myself to send any as it was too hard to write them. Then all the facebook posts of happy families, and trying to fit in shopping etc while working full time.

I think the reality is only just hitting me and I've been quite down over Christmas. I expected it to be honest, as I'd posted before about feeling 'too' happy since he went. It's the crash I knew was coming.

I feel a bit better today knowing that it's finally all over and the New Year has started. I'm looking forward now, making lists of exciting things to do and planning the future. I've met a lovely new man who seems to understand my situation completely and is making me smile a lot.

It's been terribly sad reading the heartbreaking stories on here of those who've been in the same boat this year. I hope you've all made it through the festive season in one piece.

Wishing you all a much happier 2014 x

Kurri. I read your thread and my heart went out to you. That was dreadful what your husband did to you all too. I am glad you are sounding stronger and more positive.

oops we'll go halves

handy it's been a godsend, she draws on a big whiteboard whilst I'm there and often draws exh as a penis with the word 'tosser' written over the top
not sure she's a proper counsellor she's fab she makes me laugh and cry and plies me with tea. She also sent me a lovely text on NYE

mrsmciver. Hope you don't mind me saying this but - what a cunt!

I think we should all go see Mosschops' counsellor, she sounds great! Then we should all hire a huge villa and spend next Xmas there together drinking wine and letting the children run wild and all having a wonderful time

Mrsmcgiver you definitely need to join us, so sorry you've had such a sad Xmas.

That sounds like an excellent plan!! I'm in

Oh mrsmciver - what a dreadful thing to do to you all on Christmas Eve - why are these men so cruel? - it is beyond my comprehension.

My love to you and your girls and granddaughter, - I hope 2014 is a much better year for you. I expect like me you anticipate more hurtful things to come, I am trying as best I can to protect myself from the nastiness by surrounding myself with good friends and accepting support from my family. I hope you can protect yourself too - your family sounds lovely xx

I'm down with the plan

And I need an URGENT appointment with moss's counsellor

I'm serious though!!!!

And yes she is the best mad woman counsellor ever, I wish my life away for the next session

Oh yes Mosschops, I luvvs your counsellor! She sounds brilliant!
Thank you everyone for your support. 2013 was a year where the worst happened but also the very best, my gorgeous granddaughter was born. But he has systematically been very cruel. Two days after my granddaughter was born he sent me a horrible lawyers letter. The way it was worded was awful, quite threatening. Well, now I am about to hit the bastard hard, after that xmas eve text, it was the straw that broke the camels back and my girls and I are going to have a good 2014 and we will have a good 2014 xmas and new year!
And I hope that goes for all of us. That we will come out fighting this year and not be ground down anymore!

It is hard indeed to let go of that idealistic Xmas bollocks, I don't like Xmas and never have really but still have a stockpile of perfect happy family all together images that I will shoot up into space, they are about as authentic as Father Cokehead Christmas himself!
I have decided that I will sort out getting divorced this year and I will try and step positively into my future. I see a brilliant counsellor, not bonkers but still very good, would recommend it to everyone :-)
Happy New Year to us all.

I honestly never want to have a xmas and new year like that again. Don't get me wrong, it was spent with family and we are all very supportive and close, but it was still ruined for us. I just don't understand, if he is off enjoying his shiny new life, why does he want to hurt us? I don't get that.
It even upset me that he still has the control and power to hurt us so much. I hate him beyond reason now.