28 years together, 20 years married, 5 children. DH goes to works christmas do and doesn't come back until the next day. Admits to having spent a night in a motel with someone. Long talks, he doesn't know what he wants, family are his world, loves me but not in the same way anymore... Agree we both need to make more effort. 2 weeks later the effort making has all been a bit one-sided, and periods of extreme tension, I say we need to talk again. He has continued to constantly message the woman he slept with. She is 20 years younger. He says he needs her as a friend as he doesn't have any others. We agree to separation. Have told 5 broken hearted youngsters. He won't tell his family. I have no family to tell. Cannot afford for us to live apart. So life continues much as before but we are now labelled separated. Feel as though my brain is about to explode. He's off seeing his new best friend now.