We are married over 25 years. Just before Christmas there was an incident that I over reacted to. I was being a jealous husband thinking someone was attempting an affair with my wife. He had been Facebooking and phone txting her. I found out and did things like sending him warnings to stay away, stop txting, I would inform his wife etc: I found out all his social sites and where he worked - I was back in Caveman mode protecting his mate.
My DW has now seen a side of me she did not know existed and it has shocked her. She feels I acted most inappropriately - yet i felt it was a normal MALE reaction. Reverting to caveman mode and protecting your mate from potential other suitors.
Now my DW does not know if she wants to stay or go. She sees this incident as another disapointment in our marriage - It's not been perfect as I'm a stubborn person.
The stay of go she claims is NOT to be with this other person and I do believe that.
It's possibly the straw that broke the camels back.
Needless to say she has bee relatively cold to me since the incident, we talk but at more of a social level.
She shares EVERYTHING we discuss with her close friends and asks them for advise - One says leave - One says think carefully and make up your own mind.
So for most of December I was left hanging with no decision if I was in or out of a marriage - and it's driving me insane.
Christmas was dreadful for the family with me in a depressed mood.
I've also know I've become very clingy.
I've made my comments on why we should stay together and have tried to give her space to work her decision out.
I've made many silly comments like, perhaps you should move out till your sure, or you can sleep in the spare bed, but i have always later apologised and withdrawn my comments. I feel I'm grasping at straws to keep her.
I am taking counselling as is she.
I'm now deciding if I should move out to a bedsit to give her space to come to a conclusion. - But I don't know if thats a good idea either.
WE have talked about this and she continues to bring up those times in the past when I hurt her emotionally. All I can do is agree and apologise, commenting that perhaps with this counselling I can address those emotional issues I have, that give rise to that past behaviour.
I respect her recalling those past times - but I feel she is ignoring the good times. The fact she only tells her friends about the bad times i feel make them seem more important and larger in the marriage.
Oh - What am I to do ?
She 50-ish, struggles with low self esteem and is menopausal if that is important.