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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

PLEASE help me, ex has hepatitis

50 replies

legofansmum · 29/12/2013 23:44

Name changed for this but have been a member for many years. A few months ago I stupidly got back with DS's father who was abusive. I was stupid and believed he ha changed he was nice for a while and then flipped, hurting our son and one of our cats.

Have no contact now.

Found out tonight has hepatitis. I don't know what type but I'm terrified I have it or worse DS. I had unprotected sex with him on several occasions.

I'm terrified. I know there are different types. How do you catch it? I'm so upset and embarrassed. I wouldnt just sleep around. I loved that man. Is there any chance if I have it DS could?

I feel so dirty and ashamed :(

OP posts:
Offred · 29/12/2013 23:49

You just need to go and get tested. That's the only thing that can be done to reassure you.

legofansmum · 29/12/2013 23:57

Thank you for replying. I just cant believe it. I am so embarrassed and scared. I wish I could go to a different doctors.

OP posts:
Lweji · 29/12/2013 23:57

Do you know which type?

Lweji · 29/12/2013 23:58

Sorry, failed to read properly.

Just hugs then. :( You should get tested asap.

Blushingm · 29/12/2013 23:58

Couldn't you go to a sexual health clinic instead?

You've nothing to be ashamed of - you've done nothing bad or wrong

Lweji · 30/12/2013 00:00

Are you sure it's viral?

Mignonette · 30/12/2013 00:03

You need to go to a GUM clinic -Genito Urinary Medicine and they will test you.

Hepatitis C is actually quite hard to transmit via sexual activity. It is usually directly blood born via shared needles, contaminated razors through direct contact w/ the blood stream through broken skin. It is only capable of surviving outside the body for around 4 days.

It can also be transmitted to an unborn child via an infected Mother.

Hep B is more easily transmitted through sexual activity or contact w/ bodily fluids.

CCTVmum · 30/12/2013 00:03

was your ex using drugs? or was it through blood/sexual fluids?

Is it Hep C?

Get to GP or GUM (sexual health clinic) clinic asap GUM should see you do test same day where you may have to wait for blood test at gp. You might want HIV, herpes tests etc too for peace of mind.

If he knew he had Hep C and purposly had unprotected sex you can report it to police and he can be charged as this is a type of assult.

Make sure ds doesnt have boodily fluid contact ie blood slaiva even urine...detol spray on toilets etc seperate towels like would with D&V. You cant catch it from hugging etc get as many of them from ds!

Hopefully you will be neg but if positive and caught early treatment can clear it. Dont ignore though as chronic hep c can kill important you get tested asap.

Mignonette · 30/12/2013 00:04

Nothing to feel dirty about. But if (and I mean if) you have been exposed, fast treatment can in some cases prevent problems associated with it.

Some people are exposed and they clear the virus. Some become asymptomatic carriers but you really do need to be tested.

Good luck!

legofansmum · 30/12/2013 00:05

All I know is he supposedly caught it from being pricked with a needle in the toilets of the hostel he is staying in. It happened a few months ago and definitely before we slept together. He hasn't even had the decency to tell me. I loved that man with all my heart. He has treated me like crap over the years but when he hurt our DS and my at I got rid.
He doesn't know I know he has it. Bastard.

Feel destroyed by him. If it wasn't the fact I have to keep going for DS I think I'd be gone. He has literally destroyed me.

OP posts:
Saralyn · 30/12/2013 00:05

Yes, definitely get tested as soon as possible, In the meantime, try not to worry too much. The chance of catching it through intercourse is low. You can read about it here

www.cdc.gov/hepatitis/c/cfaq.htm

My mother did catch hep c from a sexual partner, but she did not pass it on to my father during their ten year long relationship, and us children did not get it.

Your son could only get it if you had it while pregnant, and even then it is just a 4 percent chance, according to the website.

Mabelface · 30/12/2013 00:05

You're not dirty, nor do you have anything to be ashamed of. Go to the doctor and get tested so you can get the relevant treatment. DS won't catch if from you having unprotected sex with your ex unless he had it when you were pregnant.

BrianTheMole · 30/12/2013 00:07

Do not feel dirty and ashamed. You have done NOTHING wrong. But do go and get yourself tested.

Mignonette · 30/12/2013 00:12

He has behaved badly and if he'd have had the wit, he could have gone to the doctors and had treatment to help minimise the risk of developing Hep himself after his self inoculation with a needle (I'm a bit Hmm about that though re how he caught it).

It is very rare to be infected with Hep C from sexual contact (unless you cone into contact with blood ie menstrual blood). Most cases are still transmitted via inoculation into the bloodstream. I have worked with many many clients w/ Hep C (prior to the late 80s most injecting drug users shared equipment and were infected w/ it and many of them didn't infect non drug using sexual partners nor their unborn children) and it really is a fragile virus and hard to catch in sexual circumstances.

legofansmum · 30/12/2013 00:17

Thank you. I have found out he has also injected MKat/mephadrone. When I questioned him about that he swore he used clean needles and didnt share. I don't know what to think or believe. He's a selfish, lying bastard who used me, abused me,worse still hurt our son and on eof my cats. He lies, cheated and steals. He is claiming on Facebook to be wanting to sue the hostel because of the needle incident.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 30/12/2013 00:18

Ok,deep breath,don't torment self with what ifs.no googling, get some sleep
you go to gp or GUM clinic at hospital.you get a blood test
They'll listen to you,they'll be kind,they will discuss your options.

So until you have some firm facts,don't sweat the what ifs
And take a pal if you feel you've got a good confidant

iWantChampagneOnColaBudget · 30/12/2013 00:22

i was mis diagnosed with hep B a while ago. nothing they said (foreign holiday, needles, tatoos) applied to me, but apparently my results were coming back responsive to hep B virus.

i broke down for 2 weeks until i got re tested and all was clear, the relief was huge. i had gone to my sexual health clinic because i was swollen below, which went by itself, but please, i've been there thinking you have something that could harm your child, or yourself and it stops you living, get yourself there asap and find out for certain

Offred · 30/12/2013 00:24

Ignore him and his ridiculousness. He is not your concern.

It is highly likely that everything will be fine for you and ds. If, in the highly unlikely event, it isn't completely fine you will get treatment, it will still be fine.

Obsessing over his Facebook won't help you. Don't be ashamed, go to the GUM clinic and let them help you. They will be kind and supportive and not judgemental. They'll give you the answers you need. X

Mignonette · 30/12/2013 00:26

That is what I suspected.

OP, get yourself tested. They do not judge. I do not judge you and i used to work in this field. Please have faith in what i say.

Look after yourself and keep off his FB page- that way lies madness in you winding yourself up.

Eliminate him from your life.

CCTVmum · 30/12/2013 00:40

He would have been told to not have unprotected sex when he had his results and he intentionally did have unprotected sex with mum of his ds!
You need to kick him to kerb NEVER have unprotected sex at least with him again! He knew their would be a slight chance he pass it on even though very slim chance still doesnt excuse his wreckless behaviour, if he is injecting Mkat a highly addictive substance I think he is telling you porkies...you can not catch Hep C off a clean needle thats another porkie and he is doing drugs then as says uses clean needles as well as the dirty on in the hostel!
Feel angry with him playing rolet with peoples lifes grrr!

legofansmum · 30/12/2013 00:42

Thanks. I can't forgive him for this or hurting my babies. I have blocked him on Facebook and ignored his attempts of contact. They were to get money from me. He wouldn't bother telling me this as it doesn't help him. Everything is about him. I changed locks last month as he refused to give key back. I still have his Facebook log in that's how I found out. I Cant believe he hasn't told me. His brother knows an is meant to be my friend. He tried to break in a few weeks ago which is why is why I check facebook to make sure he's away as he went straight back to another ex when I finished it. As long as they are together he should stay away. I hate him and do does DS is who is terrified by him and west he's done to us. We are in a ground floor flat and he hammered doors and windows in front of DS when I wouldn't let him in x

OP posts:
legofansmum · 30/12/2013 00:49

He is so wreck less and selfish. Four children by four mothers. I'm the only one who has gone to CSA , I'm going to cancel it. He threatened to kill me over CSA. £5 a week is all he pays out even thoughhe has four children he does nothing for.
He as continuously lied to me. I felt sorry for him because he was mistreated as a child. He would cry and it upset me. Hurting DS , the cat and this is final straw selfish sstard. All he cared about was sex

OP posts:
Mignonette · 30/12/2013 00:50

Lego

That is harassment and you need to go to the police. Please don;'t underplay it and allow this to continue. Relying upon him being with somebody else in order to feel safe is not right.

He has endangered you and frightens your children. Go to the police. Forces now have action plans in place to protect vulnerable families and your post says to me that you are vulnerable.

Mignonette · 30/12/2013 00:51

Now threats to kill.

No, enough. Go to the police my love.

Please.

CCTVmum · 30/12/2013 00:52

Please copy the facebook pages where he says he has Hep C. But get yourself tested tomorrow! Even if results are clear and good chance they could be I would then go to police as he is possibly going to infect others too and he can be done for intentionally transmitting a disease...a woman or man was few years ago for HIV.

If tries to attack gain please report it. You can still report last break in. If he makes any threats via text FB etc please get them copied and or logged at police station. This is assult and he can be charged! I bet the other ex doesnt know either...trouble is you tell her and he may harm you or ds. I would only tell her if you and ds are safe first.
If he hammers again pone police asap and film on your phone his aggressive beaviours. Get an injunction too.

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