PLEASE help me, ex has hepatitis

[legofansmum]

Name changed for this but have been a member for many years. A few months ago I stupidly got back with DS's father who was abusive. I was stupid and believed he ha changed he was nice for a while and then flipped, hurting our son and one of our cats.

Have no contact now.

Found out tonight has hepatitis. I don't know what type but I'm terrified I have it or worse DS. I had unprotected sex with him on several occasions.

I'm terrified. I know there are different types. How do you catch it? I'm so upset and embarrassed. I wouldnt just sleep around. I loved that man. Is there any chance if I have it DS could?

I feel so dirty and ashamed :(

Good advice there from CCTVMum

ok just read about threats to kill you over csa, same as my ex! Drop csa as he will keep attempting to scare you and might even succeed...the abuse to ds and animals also the same and very big signs of classic psychopath. Please try and stay safe or get to safety BEFORE you report to police ecause if you piss him off you are in BIG trouble! So Womens Aid first!
Just get blood test done first and stay safe. ie doors locked, mobile charged at all times by bed etc personal keyring attack alarm, log everything...hopefully ex will stay loved up until you can sort test/results then sort everything else out.

Good advice.

Also get tested for HIV if he caught the hepC from a needle.

Make a stand and refuse to be bullied by him. You can be protected against him and the police will protect you.

thanks Mignette:) this man sounds very very dagerous! Like my ex! Feel very worried for Legof.

Legof when you said he hurt cat and ds....how?

Madlizzy...I thought this too and tried to stand up too someone similar but the attemps to harm me got worse more frequent except for first attack with arson threat. I then discovered MN relationships and it took me a long time to 'get it' that the more I stood up and would not accept the bullying the worse my ex got until I was so frightened we were going to die. I had CCTV from police in the end. I nearly went out of my mind trying to be string and not show I was frightened of the psychopath...I even wanted to get protection oe gun as it was sooo bad! But a psychopath is not frightened off they just keep coming back worse each time:(

more coherently now, women's aid will help you get away and you can tell the police about the threats to kill when you're in a safe place.

Thank you for your kind replies. I can't face callin the doctors yet. I think when I can get someone to look after DS I will attend GUM clinic. I feel so dirty and humiliated. He has lied about so much. I put so much into this man and this is just one of his methods of repayment. He dragged our son roughly through three rooms by his wrist,shoved him into wall, hit him and called him vile names. He picked cat up by tale and threw him across room. After he refused to give key back and living in fear for three days I rang police. It was passed to social care. It is still in their hands. They have no problem with the way I care for DS. It was because of him.
He doesn't even feel remorse or guilt for his actions. He cares about himself an himself only. Our son has ASD and he caused him to have nightmares. DS has been going around repeating the vile names that bastard called him.
When I told him what he did to DS and cat was wrong he went mad and claimed he had done fuck all and had upset no one. He then went because I had ignored his birthday. Never mind all the birthdays of DS's he has forgotten.
I begged the police to not contact him and social care as it actually make him worse and more dangerous. I did report the incident where he tried to break in after the locks we're changed as he snapped the key in half trying to break in. He was knocking all windows in our ground floor flat.
Never imagine life would come to the. I feel a complete and utter failure and to make it worse it affected my lovely precious son.

Please contact Women's Aid in your area. And they will liaise w/ the police to help you in a manner that will try to mitigate further risk from him.

The threats to kill were a few years ago.it went to court and he got off with a conditional discharge. its a joke. He swore to me he'd changed. He said losing his grandad and his home were a turning point for him and he wanted to be a good dad
All turned t be lies. He wanted sex, company , food, alcohol and money which I was stupid enough to supply. What he didnt want was a child getting in his way. I have since found out I'm at least the fourth woman to have let the police know about his temper. He just keeps getting away with it :(

In any case, don't feel like a failure. He was the one causing all the grief.

You did well in protecting your son when this man showed his true colours.
You are still doing well.

In the same way that you being at risk of an STI should be no shame to you, but to him.

Why did I fall for someone so cruel. I have a son with a cruel , selfish father.
I am finding it all so bloody hard and this feels like the final straw.
Feel emotionally drained.

No point in beating yourself. We all make mistakes.

The key now is to recognise why you made those mistakes and try to avoid them.

Maybe consider counselling or the Freedom Programme, so that you avoid falling into the same traps?

Plus, we don't choose to hook up with abusive men. They reveal themselves slowly. Often when it's too late to notice or to do much about it without major upheaval.

Now, where it the red flag thread?

legof my ds has ASD and df tried to kill us and abused ds many times but ds non verbal and could not tell me till years later I felt like you do too!
Why you were with this cruel evil man, well he saw what a loving person you were! How is relationship with his parents...was he seeking something he was neglected of?
But all that aside you will need o go no contact and with ds too as ds is vulnerable and does need protecting. He will be mad though so you either need to have protection like I have CCTV or move.
Please please go to GUM clinic they take a blood sample. You can do STI test when ds back in school. They will not judge you honestly hun I had to too after ex as I too had fears re drugs as well as STIs. I was pregnant too. I wanted to protect unborn as it is at birth the dc catches the Hep C usually abd they do C section to try and reduce the contamination of blood. Thankfully I was clear and I pray you will be too.

You are a fab mum and protecting your precious ds from this evil twunt you are doing well. He is classic text book from what you describe. Trick is not to get him mad, let him think he has won and disappear or get as much protection as you can.

Thank you so much for your replies.
Lweji and CCTV you both sound like you've really been through it too and I'm so sorry.
He called the other night saying he had something important to tell me.
Hoped he would tell me but he didn't. It was all about him as per usual. He made sign forms a couple of months ago so he could claim carers allowance for our son. After he attacked DS I rang carers to try an cancel it. Not easy as it really needed to be him calling not me. They listened when I said he attacked DS and police involved. they wrote to him wanting address where he ha him. Ex lives in hostel where children aren't allowed. They wanted dates and times a well. We'll as h didn't receive his money ex rang them and thy tool him I cancelled it. He lied to them about dates and apparently they said to him we could both he done for fraud and benefits stopped. He told me a date to give if they contact me. He just cares about money. I work term time part time. I can't manage without DLA and tax credits. I'm terrified. I did contact them solo after he attacked DS so feel its unfair.
He's a manipulative bully. If his JSA gets stopped I'm in for it I know.
In still trying to cope with the fact he lied say in he was clean and knowingly had hepatitis. I've finally plucked up courage and am having hep and other sti tests next week. I'm struggling so much. Haven't left flat in days. Have DS on my own who is hard work bless him as has ASD.

How do these mutters manage to find woman after woman to have relationships with???

You are away from him, you have a life without him, the past is behind you. Have the test you have done nothing wrong and it is a treatable condition. Good luck and keep staying away from him.

Thank you. Have the tests tomorrow. Feel so scared, terrified I have hepatitis or worse. He completely lied saying he had been tested and was clean knowing full well he was positive. Feels like the ultimate betrayal. I'm so tired and depressed.

It will be a lot easier to have the tests than you might be fearing - the people are so matter of fact and completely non-judgmental. And at least you'll know the score. Best of luck.

Thank you. I'm dreading it :( feel so dirty and cheap. I'm terrified of the outcome. I havent slept around etc.. the one person I should be able to trust has lied to me, hilur our son and pet.
So down over all of it. Can't believe my son has such us less, selfish bio father. All he cares about is himself namely sex and money.

*hilur = hurt

You're not dirty and cheap for trying to give a dying relationship one last try. That's only human. He's just evil for not recognising your worth.

I am glad you are angry at him because he deserves that but I am sad you are angry at yourself because I don't think you deserve it. I hope that you feel less angry at yourself once you have been tested and hopefully been given the all clear. I presume you feel very shocked at the moment.

I hope that tomorrow goes well and that the results are good for you (and arrive quickly!)

Thank you. I feel a failure. I've let my son down, he has a lying,selfish father who hurt him. He has never Been a good father, he just used me for money and sex.
I'm terribly shocked. I couldnt put anyone at risk of a illness let alone someone who has bent love backwards to help me.
I have found out he injected MCAT/ mephadrone. Scared of risk of HIV too. I specifically asks him about STIs etc.. and he said he'd been tested and was clean.

Only saw your update now.

It looks like you need to cut all contact.

If it helps, when I started a new relationship after exH, I took a battery of tests for STIs, just in case.

I'm sure you'll be fine. Fingers crossed.

Good luck for tomorrow. Xx

And the twat is the failure, who couldn't keep a good thing or take the opportunity you gave him.

Hello Lego .
I found out my Dh had Hepc four years ago. We have been married for thirty years.
He probably caught it when he was a teenager and had no idea
I do not have Hepc
It is actually quite unusual to catch it through sex.

I am sorry you are going through this I think you will be okay.