10 year old DD just got home from weekends at dads in tears

[Mintymoomoo]

She is saying she doesn't want to go anymore as his new wife always shouts in her face (mostly when her dad isn't present) and today hit her around the head with a carrier bag with. Bottle of coke in!!!!

She has been crying and upset for last half hour, says his wife says horrible things about me etc

I don't have a good relationship with EXH or his wife she hates me with a passion and is extremely jelous, he not not allowed to communicate with me at all, not even through text!

Question is what do I do? I also have 2 younger children

I would take the phone away from your dd and keep it in communal areas at all times. It sounds like bullying or manipulation that he is ringing in this way.

Well done for ringing the police.

"They then said the hit over head was done in jest as they were messing and wife forgot bottle was in there and apologised straight away! And that she was also rude to the wife's dad today!!"

His story makes no sense. How can someone not tell the difference between an empty carrier bag and one with a bottle in it?? And the comment about the wife's dad sounds suspiciously as though your ex is trying to say that your dd deserved it.

Well done for reporting it.

The way I see it is , if the 'stepmum' genuinely didn't intend to harm or upset your dd then surely SHE herself would have contacted you to try and sort things out .

The very fact she hasn't = A HUGE RED FLAG

You did the right thing reporting to the police, your ex sounds scared of his wife, I hope he isn't a victim of her violence too.

Well done for reporting.

Most important thing is to let your dd know you believe her.

Keep the phone in your possession- he was out of order contacting her before it was sorted out.

Good luck!

Well done for reporting.

It is so important that your DD knows you are taking this assault seriously. Its a vital lesson for her and will strengthen your relationship with her.

As for him - minimising the incident and manipulating her - bastard.

(agree that you cannot forget there was a bottle of coke in the bag FFS)

Remember NOTHING justifies this attack - even if she was rude, she should not have been attacked.

Well done op

And well done to your dd for speaking out

Well done to you for reporting it. You've shown your DD that you're on her side and will protect her. You're a great mum :).

Agree with others that you should keep her phone so your ex can't contact her.

I had similar happen to me when I was younger (not with the physical violence thankfully but the name calling, shouting and horrible comments about my mum) and it was minimised and dismissed.

how's it going op?
I hope your daughter is a bit happier today and that the police were helpful.

My son and his stepmum had a lot of difficulties, he tells me she used to scream at him pretty much all the time, and was dishing punishments left right and centre, while dad just watched quietly without acting.

It was a very bad time, DS's attitude was terrible, he even started having problems in school, and it took a couple of days for him to settle down every time he stayed at his dad. It was a very dark time. When his dad decided to stop contact, the cloud finally lifted. It was then obvious that the event in DS's life which was causing all that challenging behaviour was the emotional abuse he was getting at his dad's home.

Good on you on reporting the issue, someone has to tell your ex and his wife that hitting a child with a bag, whether it is empty or not, is abuse. If they want good behaviour from her they need to stop intimidating her.