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Original poster

Asked on a date. Should I go????

27 replies

Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 17:29

Hi All
Many of you have probably seen my previous post about my split with my ex and the end of a relationship I had with someone I met online, just before Xmas. I have been feeling very low and quite lonely since then and also feel i was treated quite badly.

Have been trying to just muddle through Xmas really and had to work a lot of it. I have been putting ,y all into work and using it as a distraction. I had made up my mind to be happy on my own, and had begun to realise I am better on my own than in a poor relationship so I was feeling a little better

Then today at work I got chatting with someone who works where I am from time to time ( or rather he got chatting to me) basically he was following me around a lot and by the end of his shift began mentioning going for a coffee sometime. Before he left he gave me a bit of paper with his number on

He seems ok and not unattractive but I've been quite badly burned lately by relationships, plus if I did meet him I wouldn't want people at work to know. So come on please help me, what should I do ? Is it wise to take a chance again and go for a drink.?

OP posts:
tiamariaxxx · 27/12/2013 17:57

Are you after another relationship or a distraction? No harm in going i dont personally think but make it clear from the start you dont want anything full on atm

Dirtybadger · 27/12/2013 18:01

Personally I wouldn't. It sounds like you are doing well having your own time. If you want a bit of fun/distraction (and you're confident you won't end up in a muddle with that) probably best to avoid men from work.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 18:01

The way you describe your situation ?

No, I wouldn't

Work has been your sanctuary and you should protect it as such

maybe it would be ok, or maybe you would end up shitting on your own doorstep (as it were)

Just because he seems sorta ok wouldn't be a good enough reason to further queer my pitch, tbh

Original poster
Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 18:05

tia I dont know what im after really. No firm plan as such. I definately am not just after sex though as I get too attached. If I were to go I think I would just see how things pan out, who knows. I'm just wary, very wary because of what's happened to me. I would like to find someone nice though. I just didn't expect to get asked out again this soon tbh

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 18:05

You will get asked again, no need to jump at this one if it is too soon/too close to home

Original poster
Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 18:07

anyfucker good point, I never thought of it like that. If things went tits up I wouldn't even be able to have work as my sanctuary.

OP posts:
Original poster
Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 18:09

Hmmm yes it is a bit close to home. Although he doesn't work there all the time and is spread between a number of different bases. However I would still have to see him from time to time

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 18:11

Your call Xmas Smile

Original poster
Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 18:19

Difficult one as I would like the company and someone to go out with. I know it sounds really sad and that I'm a Billy no mates but I don't go out much, am either working or tired. All my friends are married so obviously don't have a group to go out with. But I'm not desperate and only really want to see someone if there's big benefit in it for me. Will think it over at the weekend

OP posts:
Original poster
Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 21:19

Ok what do I do. I have his number but am so out of practice. Shall I text him, but what do I say?

OP posts:
1983mummy · 27/12/2013 21:39

I would just text him and ask how he is and if he fancies that coffee still.
At the end of the day you are just going for coffee with him, it's not a date as such so I wouldn't think too much of it for now.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 21:41

Eh ?

Now you are chasing after him ?

I don't get it Confused

Original poster
Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 21:46

No I not chasing him, no way. He asked as he was leaving work, would I like to meet for a coffee sometime. I just smiled and didn't really reply then he came back and gave me a piece of paper with his number on, presumably to call him and let him know

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 21:49

Well, you are obsessing about how to approach him when you are supposedly so ambivalent ?

Is this what you were looking for ? Some peace of mind and sort your head out ?

Epic fail already

Like I said, your call

KingRollo · 27/12/2013 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KingRollo · 27/12/2013 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 21:53

I'm not really obsessing I've just never had someone give me their number before ( I know how sad) so basically if I decide I want to see him I'm not really sure what to say if I contact him

OP posts:
Original poster
Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 21:54

Yes absolutely. No harm in a coffee :)

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 21:55

Women wonder how they tie themselves in knots over a bloke, and then do it all over again ?

< sheesh >

Original poster
Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 22:00

Well I wouldn't say I'm tying myself in knots, god I barely even know him. But everything has to start somewhere surely. I never want to get so cynical that I can't give people a chance. Still haven't made my mind up yet I'm just thinking it over. Have had a few glasses of wine tonight and am wondering wether to suggest meeting tomorrow that's all.

OP posts:
AlfAlf · 27/12/2013 22:03

You're still hurting from the last guy, give yourself a chance to get over that before thinking about dating someone new. Otherwise you're just coming from a vulnerable place.

I used to think I had to say yes to pretty much everyone who asked me out, I think I was so desperate for approval, I didn't want to be 'a bitch' by saying no, and my own opinion - was I actually interested in him? - didn't get any consideration. Be careful not to do that :)

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 22:04

I wish you well, OP

But before a "few glasses of wine" you had decided you would leave it

I would hold off until you are sober, then decide.

You have had a rough time and you said work was your sanctuary. Now it isn't. I guess it's just not in me to be fickle, so I cannot understand it in others

have the courage of your convictions and/or your 1st instinct.

I bet there are loads of instances in your life where you wish you had listened to your 1st instinct.

Original poster
Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 22:08

To tell the truth I'm not hurting from the other guy. I don't have any feelings for him. I think it was just hurt pride but now am ok. But I know I don't have to have a man to make me happy. I was just very surprised at this today and do find him quite attractive, it was out of the blue. I might just go for a coffee and see what he's like. He might be monumentally boring but I won't know will I. If nothing else I might make a friend

OP posts:
Original poster
Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 22:10

Fair enough anyfucker point taken, I have had a few too many. I'm not going to decide anything until tomorrow anyway. To be honest it probably is a bit close to home

OP posts:
Original poster
Santaclaws · 27/12/2013 22:11

Think I need to go to bed I've obviously had too much wine tonight I'm talking rubbish :). Night night

OP posts:
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