alright, seriously, how often do you and DH get down to it?

[nobodysawmedoit]

I'm starting a tangent thread from my other current thread. We have one kid, aged 2, and a very good relationship. But we've only had sex about 6 / 7 times since he was born. (For those with very poor maths skills, that's about once every four months). Is that normal? Are we doomed?

Probably once every 7 weeks.

One of our recent attempts (bear in mind we have 2 teens who are still padding about after we've gone to bed so can hear everything, and a 6 year old who bounds through early in the morning) had to be cut short because DD (14) decided to style her hair after midnight and got it tangled in the hot brush she was using. Cue hysteria, cries for muuuuuuuum helllllllllllllllp, and then a look of absolute horror on her face when she realised what she'd interrupted. Any time we DTD it has to be done quietly and quickly

3boys - i need you - i am that couple no sex for 12 yrs prob down to a mixture of things - intensive fertility treatment over a period of time then twins - me on ADs & still am - child who wont sleep on his own - resulting in seperate bedrooms - thought we were ok until DH told me 5 days ago not sure how he feels about me and has felt like this for the past year - i have been posting various threads on here - i am the perfect case study!

Op, we had sex once between dd being born and her being 18 months. I breastfed til then and felt totally unsexy and all touched-out. My poor DH said he felt like a sex-pest, when really his drive was normal and mine prob wasn't.

I wanted to start ttc dc2 so did kind of force myself to do it - and when I did I really enjoyed it. Porn helped but I realise its not everyone's cuppa. We did have a few bickers as DH was convinced if we weren't ttc then I still wouldn't be bothered and he felt a bit "used". And actually when I fell pg with dc2 (am now 10 weeks) he was disappointed the "practising" was over and I think is dreading another drought. Morning sickness hasn't helped but I have again made the effort and really enjoyed it....

So it seems it can be a case of falling out of the habit but one or both of you will have to try to get back in it... Kind of a use it or lose it thing I think.

Good luck, it's a funny old place to be.....

OP - very similar situation to you, love each other to bits but often just can't be bothered with sex - we've instigated Sexy Nights, Thursday and Sunday, a bit like a previous poster. I'm Sunday and DP is Thursday. Rather than it having to be full sex, the person whose night it is gets to choose how to be pleasured (stroking, massage, oral, whatever they feel like but something sexy) and then if we get carried away we actually DTD. We find it great - we're sexy with each other at least twice a week, we have lots of fun without pressure and the opportunity's there for full sex to happen in a spontaneous fashion. Full sex itself maybe doesn't happen more than once or twice a month but we always keep up a lovers' connection, as it were. Our only DS is 2, btw, and an early riser....

Probably once a month or slightly less... DH works shifts and we have a toddler. Goes through phases though, and we're off to a posh hotel for NYE and that usually does the trick!

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and have only had sex a handful of times this pregnancy. Maybe 3? I felt too sick in the first trimester. Then, when we finally had sex at 11 weeks I had a massive bleed the next day and it scared me for a long time.

Now I am too knackered and toddler is sleeping so badly.
I'm a bit worried because my sex drive plummeted after dd was born an sex hurt for about 8 months pp.

DH generally has a higher sex drive than me and occasionally bemoans the lack of it but tbh doesn't make a massive effort to get me in the mood. I think we need to refind our physical connection once I've healed after the birth. We are otherwise pretty strong though.

I'm probably averaging less than you OP and I don't even have kids. I feel like I have absolutely no sex drive and could happily go without for the rest of my life. Have been to two different therapists before and didn't really help...they just said to basically start doing it and the more I do it the more I'll want to. But I want to WANT to have sex...I'd give anything for a magic pill that would increase my sex drive, as it's very unfair for my DH.

I don't think planning things helps either. Me and mrs neiljames77 had it all planned out. I booked a trip to the seaside in a posh hotel. The plan was, a few drinks, a nice meal, a few more drinks and a bit of dancing, then back to the hotel and go at it like knives.
We got so pissed we just went to sleep when we got back to the hotel. We didn't even have morning sex because we'd have missed breakfast.

Diet can also play a massive part in sex drive... It's no coincidence if I eat carbs and crap I feel urgh and unattractive. When I low carb (and not for weight loss- I am a normal weight) I feel much more 'switched on' plus loads of energy. thatildonicely feel free to PM me . I think it's all about your habits... And tweaking them to suit.

Glad to see someone else has Sunday and Thursday sexy time Daisy!

Me and dh are mismatched.

Id be at it twice a day ideally. He has started working 60-70 hour weeks and is too tired now

Couple of times a week maybe.

Probably 2-3 times a week, with other stuff thrown in between. DH would have it daily if I let him but some nights the extra sleep seems much more attractive

We have been together four years, no children together, but he has DS. We go through phases: sometimes just once a week for a few weeks, then maybe a phase of three times per week.

It is very very rarely less than once a week or more than three times a week,