My estranged mother has just sent my DH a letter informing him that I had an abortion at 16

[dontsqueezetheteabag]

He is very upset, he didn't know. I am not proud of it but I know it was the right thing to do at the time.

She is going through a very bitter divorce with my father at the moment after having an affair 18 months ago.

She is sending letters out willy nilly with pure venom in them. The woman is a disgrace.

Rant over. Urgh

What an absolute horror of a mother.

Well if you were having any doubts in the past about keeping her away, of course you have the answer now. SHe must never see you again and will never see her grandchild as you say.

Glad things have been settled. Look forward to Christmas with your hubbie and you baby to be!

Oh my word what a despicable thing to do . Glad you and dh have talked.

What an absolutely foul excuse for a 'mother'. Definitely that should be it, so far as any contact with her is concerned, OP. Her loss - she'll never know her grandchild and will probably endure a lonely old age and bloody well serves her right.

I'd write back and tell her my husband loves me and we are looking forward to our baby. I hope you enjoy getting old and dying alone.

Cruel? Yes. Deserved? Yes.

Wow, what a poisonous bitch. Oh well, living well is the best revenge.

Don't send it back or acknowledge in any way - she'll never know if it was even received.

It is NOT a big thing not to tell someone. Assuming it wasn't your current DP's child. Have you had his medical records? Has he disclosed if he had his tonsils or appendix out? FFS.

Another one whose mother would do something like that.

All letters and cards that come to this house from her go in the bin unopened. It's the only way.

I also know this really fucks her off because my brother told me.

Cutting contact does seem the only way forward. I think your husband might have approached it the wrong way, but with good intentions. It might not directly be his business, but it is significant for you. Especially so given your pregnancy. Having said all that, it isn't ever going to be an easy thing to discuss.

If it was addressed to your husband - he should respond directly....suggesting that she should apologize, request that it is returned otherwise when you pass it on to the police she might be looking at 6 months in jail for her poison pen letter under the:

Threatening letters or other articles - Section 1 Malicious Communications Act, 1988

The Malicious Communications Act 1988 section 1, see Stones 8.20830, deals with the sending to another of any article which is indecent or grossly offensive, or which conveys a threat, or which is false, provided there is an intent to cause distress or anxiety to the recipient. Poison-pen letters are usually covered.

www.cps.gov.uk/legal/a_to_c/communications_offences/

A person guilty of an offence under section 127 CA 2003 shall be liable, on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months or to a fine or to both.

I agree, all further letters from her to go into the bin.

OR you prosecute her, but putting up with it is not an option.

Game changer

This is so awful, made even worse by the timing so close to christmas. May be worth thinking about whether there is anything else she could try to use against you in this way so you can be prepared.

Not the point at all but if you are due august you've prob not had your booking appt. at that your choice would be to lie when they ask about earlier pregnancies, tell dh or get into a crazy secret mess with notes etc. daft as it sounds, it's maybe better to get all out in the open in a way that feels unconnected with your current pregnancy.

Your mother still a cow though.

Oh and if your H ever has the misfortune to run into her, and if the subject's raised, your H needs to say 'Oh that, yeah I knew about that ages ago, you wasted a stamp love'

I got the same letter addressed to me today and it had been sent second class. DH letter was sent first class.

What a twunt! Malicious, horrid woman.

DH and I having above afternoon together in the house getting ready for the family coming over tomorrow. I need WINE!!!!

I am so sorry, that is a terrible thing for a mother to do.
Proves that you were right to be estranged.

just wanted to say what a nasty evil malicious old cow your "mother" is. Hope you have a fabulous christmas enjoying the fact she's no longer part of your life the evil bint.

Oh, she had really thought that through, hadn't she? Making sure he got his letter before you received yours?
Goodness, the woman is damaged. And damaging.

Stay well clear. TBH, I would really not engage in any kind of slinging match. Even a dignified, reasonable answer is likely to be taken for invitation for further dysfunctional aggravation.

Radio silence. Enjoy your pregnancy. Enjoy your good relationship with your husband. Happy Christmas!!

OP - really glad that your OH is supportive. Agree with Pacific - don't dignify her with a response. If she is doing this to lots of family members she will create her own radioactive exclusion zone.

Do you think that she just did this now as she has heard you are pregnant? If so .... evil

Merry Christmas to all you lovely people. X

OMG! Vindication (although probably not needed) for you going NC already. I agree with poster upthread. It would be great if your DP could tell her he already knew and that she has wasted two stamps.

"...indecent or grossly offensive, or which conveys a threat, or which is false"

...well that would be non of the above then. She revealed a fact about her daughter's past. It was out of order, but it isn't a crime.

Merry Christmas.

Glad my idea of stickers cheered you up, don't let her get you down as she is clearly unhinged.

Happy Christmas, to everyone of us!!