I just want to cancel Christmas

[Geckos48]

The children are only little, they won't know any different until at least next year

I just feel like I have worked and worked and worked to make things nice for the family and the only person capable of showing me any support or love or reciprocation for my efforts is being a complete cunt to me.

I have just driven around 20 miles to pick up the last little bits of presents, I have cleaned the house and got the kids ready and then waiting for half an hour in the rain and wind to pick up DH

He has basically spent the last half an hour in the car complaining that he is hungry and recommending that we go to a shop and get food that only he can eat.

I have no present to unwrap Christmas morning, he hasn't had time or money to buy me anything apparently. I have arrange something really special and personal for him.

I have made sure the children have plenty of nice (secondhand but nice) gifts to open and I have wrapped them all.

When he suggested that we just get something for him to eat because HE is hungry and of course that is far more important than anything else, I just flipped.

I mean what the fuck??? So I can run around for a month making sure Christmas is magical and then he can demand that after waiting for half an hour in gale force winds for him that HE is the only one that gets to eat???

Seems I put myself out for the kids loads and get nothing back for it.

I'm sick of it, I am so angry, just drove straight home and got the kids a drink and came upstairs.

He had just come up, had a massive go at me for ignoring him - I just calmly said 'I don't want to talk to you' and then slammed our bedroom door so loudly that it has knocked one of my favourite pictures off the wall and shattered it.

Oh OP your DH sounds like a cunt.

My DH - usually a great 50/50 partner - does this about food too. And presents. And packing bags.

"What shall we do for lunch?"
"I'm not hungry"

No, maybe not, but your CHILDREN are you selfish idiot.

DH - "Are we ready?"
Me - No, I have been getting all the kids stuff together while you sit there

Ok I need to stop writing this post because I can feel my blood pressure rising!

I'm very jealous of your Chinese takeaway though!

hearts that is pretty much it, he is great most of the time but then just decided to be so phenomenally selfish it makes my jaw hit the floor!

Jaysus what is your waitrose like that only sell porkpies? Could you not pick up something else for you and the kids like a roast chicken? Why does a family meal mean you all eat the same? Do you dictate that he can me er eat wheat?

And to drive home in a rage, where there is no food by the sounds of things, hide in your room and again Not feed the kids sound pretty unusual -absurd- to be honest. You soundl like hard work

I did feed the kids actually, when I got through the door!

It was an 'oh I give up' moment.

If it makes me awful and irrational to have occasional moments like than then I obviously am a terrible parent!

And no I don't dictate what he eats.

He sounds awful. Yes, I know he's apologised but he doesn't sound like he thinks much of you, at all.

Nothing to unwrap Christmas morning because - what? He's only had 364 days to sort something out? Over the course of the year he's not been able to save even a few pence to get you something thoughtful (yet everyone else gets presents)? How could you even bear to sit there on Christnas morning and see the one you love get nothing?

You know what, I get it. It's not about the pork pie.

It's about being the one to think of everything, do everything, put everyone else before yourself and basically feel like you're doing everything by yourself.

What you wanted to hear was- 'have you and the kids eaten?' 'What shall we get?'...'can I pick you up something in waitrose?'....

Also- bullshit he doesn't have money for a gift. If you can buy Chinese, he can spend 20 buying you a little something. He's a selfish twat if you ask me!

Next year buy your own gift using your H's money? My DH cannot shop for gifts - he has tried before but it wasnt good. I buy myself beautiful, thoughtful gifts that i really appreciate. I also hate surprises so it works out well.

What is he doing today, BTW?

Your DH sounds more like another DC! I guess you have to decide whether you are willing to put up with having a child for a DH.

If we go out as a family my DH often has moments when he acts like my third DC. Every time I go out I have to take snacks for the baby, my toddler, and my DH. I don't mind as I believe his other qualities make up for his sometimes childish behaviour but maybe it is not the case for you.

OP I get it. Your H was being selfish - glad he has apologised.

I think you're being a bit of a martyr. Get out to the shops today and buy yourself a present! The sales have started