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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

At what time do you get angry?

55 replies

Karbea · 20/12/2013 21:50

My DH lost his mobile yesterday in a cab, so he is phone less.
He normally gets home from work around 8.

Just wondering at what time I can officially be p!ssed off ;)

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Lweji · 20/12/2013 22:00

Or worried?

Karbea · 20/12/2013 22:01

Umm exactly. Although considering the time of year I guess he's gone for after work drinks. He isn't driving or anything... Guess he could have fallen asleep on the train and ended up somewhere miles away...

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cloudskitchen · 20/12/2013 22:03

I'd be concerned by now unless this is fairly usual behaviour.

Lweji · 20/12/2013 22:04

Hope for the best and decide if you should be pissed off once he gets home.

Does he often go on drinks without warning and get back late?

It can be quite hard to find phone booths these days. Does he know your mobile/home phone number?

Karbea · 20/12/2013 22:04

Well not really normal, he is a bit of a drinker, but has been very good lately.
There's nothing I can really do though is there?

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Lweji · 20/12/2013 22:05

No sorry, apart from calling his usual mates. Or hospitals, but no news is good news in general. :)

Karbea · 20/12/2013 22:07

I'm going to really try and not be angry, we've not been getting on great lately, so earlier today I emailed him and apologised for nagging etc. he said he only wanted to make me happy, which does make his lateness particularly odd.
He definitely knows our home number... In fact he does know my mobile as he has called me before from a friends phone when his battery has been flat.

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cloudskitchen · 20/12/2013 22:07

No not really. How frustrating. Do you have the number of any work pals he may be with?

Karbea · 20/12/2013 22:08

Don't know any of his work friends numbers.

What too soon to think about hospitals surely?

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MerryFuckingChristmas · 20/12/2013 22:09

It's 10 o'clock on the last Friday before xmas ?

he has no mobile phone ?

I think it's a bit too soon to get properly angry.

Karbea · 20/12/2013 22:10

Yes I suspect his been dragged into a bar. I just think a little call would be good manners but hey ho.

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cloudskitchen · 20/12/2013 22:11

'tis the season to be jolly and all that. I bet as you say he's gone out for a couple of drinks after work. He knows you are aware he's lost his mobile so may think this excuses him from making contact. Hope you hear something soon.

Joysmum · 20/12/2013 22:11

I'd be pissed off immediately. Hubby certainly doesn't need permission for anything but he'd know he needed to let me know what's happening so we could get on with having dinner and DD doesn't wait up for him. Common courtesy and I'd expect him to borrow a phone, call from work or find a pay phone. It'd have to be a bloody good reason not to call.

scaevola · 20/12/2013 22:12

I'd be early stages of cross now he's 2 hours late, and properly cross by about 3.

My wild youth was before mobile phones. So you made arrangements about times etc, and if you needed to change them, you found a phone and rang to the the person know. In those days a pay phone. Nowadays just borrow a mobile.

It's bloody basic manners.

Karbea · 20/12/2013 22:15

The dinner thing annoys me because I faffed around making a chicken special fried rice thing after being out shopping all day, if it'd just been dinner for me I'd probably had something like a micro meal simple.

If I wasn't coming home on time I'd definitely call, I agree it's common courtesy, but yes maybe him not having a phone makes him think he doesn't need to call.

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LilithSternin · 20/12/2013 22:28

Hope he's home or in touch with you soon.

Karbea · 20/12/2013 22:36

Me too!

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cloudskitchen · 20/12/2013 22:39

Ditto. My dh now also later than expected. I am going to pass the time by going to sleep. Mind you I have had some communication this evening :)

LynetteScavo · 20/12/2013 22:42

Hmmm...Friday night before Christmas.....he will be late. (My money is on 2pm, and then he will be useless all day tomorrow)

I'm presuming he can remember the house phone number and his friends own phones, so there is no excuse. He should have called. He is naughty.

Karbea · 20/12/2013 22:46

So am I angry in the morning? I'm trying really hard to be less naggy, of late all I've done is moan at him, and I know it's not help me/him/us.
I kinda wanna say "that was a bit rude not contacting me" but he will defo see that as a red rag, coz he'll suspect I'm moaning iyswim. Should I just take the moral high ground and not mention it?...Being that it's Christmas etc..

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Karbea · 20/12/2013 22:48

So far I've just left his dinner on the side... Thinking this might be enough if a nudge...

God I hope his alright after I'm moaning about him on here!

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MajesticWhine · 20/12/2013 22:50

No point hiding it if you genuinely are angry. Because you will end up being passive aggressive or you will blow up over something else instead.

LynetteScavo · 20/12/2013 22:51

Don't mention it. Be cheery. Bring him a cup of tea/coffe and open the curtains at 8am and expect him to get up.

OutragedFromLeeds · 20/12/2013 22:54

I would be really, really worried (I'm a worrier), until he gets in and then absolutely fuming, but I cannot abide this sort of thing and people who know me know that so would know they needed to call iyswim.

Karbea · 20/12/2013 22:55

He has just called, asked me why I've not been picking up he has called half a dozen times... Apparently there was some disaster at work and he is just leaving. I said I'd cooked dinner if he wanted it when he got home.
But I was relatively cheery and not posed off.

Phone defo hasn't rung, and I guess he may or may not have been out. But I'll never know if he did try and/or whether he was at work or play. But he should be home within the hour.

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