Ok I'll try again- I just found out the man who sexually abused me as a child is a well known multimillionaire entrepreneur. Please someone speak to me or tell me where else to post this I feel sick.

[whitetigerlily]

I started a thread earlier about me starting to face up to being abused 27 years ago. I have just found my abuser online. I feel physically sick and am shaking.

He groomed me for sex aged 13. I would be very surprised if there are not other victims.

I was thinking of reporting this before I realised how rich and successful he is. He would be able to afford lawyers who would crucify me I am sure.

If this is the wrong place to post please tell me I have no one to talk to in real life. I can't call rape crisis as my kids are with me and the helpline isn't open yet anyway.

Whitetigerlily you only have to look after your own interests now.

If you go to the police decision-making about investigating and prosecuting this crime is taken out of your hands and that may feel very frightening - but do remember that even if the process does not result in charges being brought or a conviction that does not mean the people involved do not believe you.

Whilst you stay silent you retain control. But that control is causing you distress.

You have to decide which course of action will cause you most distress. But only you can make that judgment.

You do not need to go because anyone tells you to, or because you need to make other women safer. Victims do not owe anything to anyone. Only perpetrators owe anything.

It may well be too early for you make this decision.

I agree with all the people who have suggested that you speak either to Rape Crisis or NAPAC. Their approach will be non-judgmental and centred on your needs now. They can also talk you through the processes of both going to the police and securing a prosecution. There are a lot of statutory safeguards in the prosecution system - of course he will be able to hire his own defence if the case comes to court. But there are strict limits on the kind of questions they will be able to ask you. In any event, those are questions for much later in the process.

I haven't read all this but just wanted to say that you shouldn't feel you have to report this, If you can't face doing that then you have the choice and it isn't up to you whether he is abusing others, its up to him hes doing it' Take care of yourself and your needs and get some professional help to ensure you are making the right choice for you.xx

'Luckiest man in the world' - do you see what he's saying there? Luck can run out. It's not in the control of the person it's bestowed upon.

I'm just going to labour my point. I believe (in an 'I've heard research reported on the radio' sort of way) that successful people vastly overestimate their personal agency and vastly underestimate luck when attributing their success. They honestly believe they are the most brilliant and best in their field and that it was entirely talent, hard work and good judgement that got them where they are.

Less successful people have a much more realistic understanding of the role of luck - because they've often seen it from both sides.

While 'luckiest man' is a common turn of phrase and could just mean 'smug bastard who attributes success to talent, work and judgement but want to condescend to the plebs, or sees being born with such brilliant attributes as the lucky part, it is also possible that somewhere, he recognises that he is actually lucky - not to have been found out - and that he knows his continued happiness relies on that luck holding.