Ok I'll try again- I just found out the man who sexually abused me as a child is a well known multimillionaire entrepreneur. Please someone speak to me or tell me where else to post this I feel sick.

[whitetigerlily]

I started a thread earlier about me starting to face up to being abused 27 years ago. I have just found my abuser online. I feel physically sick and am shaking.

He groomed me for sex aged 13. I would be very surprised if there are not other victims.

I was thinking of reporting this before I realised how rich and successful he is. He would be able to afford lawyers who would crucify me I am sure.

If this is the wrong place to post please tell me I have no one to talk to in real life. I can't call rape crisis as my kids are with me and the helpline isn't open yet anyway.

Try and stay calm and figure out what you want to do. Do you want to go to the police? Them have specialist officers who Will be sensitive.

If he is well known, how come you didn't know who he was before you found him online? I don't understand. That is not really relevant anyway, if he committed a crime, he needs to be punished.

I'm so sorry

How about the National Association for People Abused in Childhood www.napac.org.uk/ - their lines are open now until 9pm

Report to the Police if and when you can bear to. He could still be doing it for all you know.

In the current climate I truly believe the Police would treat you respectfully and gently. So sorry this has happened to you.

I don't have any advice sorry, but I wanted to say how brave you must be; it must take a lot if courage to be open about this.

Why don't you phone when the children are not around?

I appreciate you have had a shock but there is no urgency is there?

And it does not matter if he is rich or poor. The DPP will be the people who decide if a prosecution can go ahead. You will experience cross examination if it goes to court regardless of whether he is a billionaire or a beggar.

Rape Crisis probably are the best people to talk to. Wait until you have a few moments alone perhaps. Prosecuting this man won't be easy and it's well-known that rape and abuse don't get easier to prosecute with the passage of time. However, his wealth and success may get him a fancy lawyer but, if there are other victims willing to testify and the police can find them, then he'll end up behind bars

You poor thing.
Something that I think the recent cases like Jimmy Saville has done, is show that rapists can be ANYBODY. Rich, famous - and his case, supposedly such a lovely man, nice to children and doing charitable work.
It should never have been the case that being rich and famous should have been protection, but I think it is less so now that it ever has been.
Start off with Rape Crisis. Emotional support for you isn't the highest priority, before prosecution.

If we have learned anything in the past year, it is that wealth and fame are no protection from prosecution.

Speak to someone about this, whether it is rape crisis or the police - I will PM you a list of places to get help, if you want me to.

Yes, I think his success has nothing to do with likelihood of prosecution, it has just made him easier to find online.

Sorry when I said well known I didn't mean famous. Just well known as in I just googled him and it came up with lots of stuff about him selling his company for £50 million. He describes himself as "the luckiest man in the world, living on easy street." He is one of the most disgusting, amoral people I have ever met and the abuse has taken me all these years to face up to, through counselling for something else. The effect on my life's been devastating. He told me when he was finished with me that now he'd had me no one else would want me.

It's not as simple as just calling the police- I don't know what reporting this could do to my life if no one believes me.

I will call someone later I just need to communicate with the outside world right now, I'm on my own with two small children and a bit shaken up.

It doesn't make any difference how much money he has regarding how you will be treated. What is difficult though is the fact that it was a long time ago and presumably there is no evidence and so it will be your word against his. Unless other victims come forward ( which they may do if it is reported in the press), the CPS are very reluctant to take these types of cases to court as there is such a low conviction rate.

However if you want to report it for your own sake then you should. Just be aware you may find the questioning retraumatisjng and you may not get the justice you deserve. You can claim criminal injuries compensation regardless of whether or not there is a conviction.

Victim Support or Rape Crisis ( if there is one in your area) will also be able to help support you. I don't want to discourage you from reporting but you need to be aware of how it may not give you what you want or give you closure so it's important to have emotional support in place.

HTH

I know at least one other person he had sex with underage. You are right though, we would never get a conviction even if she was willing to come forward with me.

You would be much more likely to get a conviction if other people came forward as it would be harder for him to accuse all these people of lying. The problem is that the standard of proof in the courts is so high that juries have to be absolutely sure. I suggest you speak to a police officer who is specially trained in dealing with sexual offences and decide whether you feel you want to officially report it.

Could I just caution people against giving advice on this matter without knowing much of the details. The best advice is to speak to somebody in RL. There is no way anybody can assess the prospects of a conviction on so little information.
I hope it goes well for you OP. You must be feeling devastated.

From a friend's experience (in the C of E) a lot of organisations are dealing with a lot of historical abuse victims coming forward at present. Do try with one of the organisations mentioned before; or another local to you and which you trust. It might be hard to get a conviction on one or two accusations, but you have no idea how many other people have reported him.

The police will not just rush into trying to prosecute him before they have built a strong case. But every extra victim strengthens their case.

If you can, please talk to the police or Rape Crisis FIRST before talking to the other person he sexually assaulted. It would be awful if this git tried to accuse you of "cooking something up together", so letting the police approach the other woman might be better.

So sorry you're going through this.

You don't know that you wouldn't get a conviction. You say you know at least one other person to whom this happened. There will, in all probability, be more. Please call an agency that can give you proper advice about what to do.

Find out for sure what you are dealing with and what your options are (and at what cost to you i.e emotionally and mentally). I don't know enough about the legal system. If you file a complaint will he be investigated? if so, then there is a chance that more cases will come to light. It is also possible that complaints have been made before.

My friend was a juror on a historical sexual abuse case and similarly there was no actual evidence as it had all taken place so long ago. In the end the jury had to decide who they believed. The defendant was found guilty.

Don't assume you are beaten before you begin just because he has money. Well done for being strong enough to take these first steps and I wish you all the very best with this and whatever you decide to do.

It's ok I think I know how these things work. I can't prove it and I will get nothing but stress and further heartache reporting him.

I was a very unhappy, introverted 13 year old girl trying to escape a violent, emotionally abusive home life. He used to pick me up in his car at night and abuse me. He said he would get me out of the situation i was in at home and i wanted to believe that. I had a social worker at the time and he warned me not to tell her. Oh god how I wish I had.

I have paid for this over and over, but he won't ever have to. Luckiest guy alive. Luckiest guy alive.

I don't think anyone should be telling the OP she wouldn't get a conviction, because you simply cannot know. Some historic abuse cases do go to court, and are successful, and if the other victim is willing to testify, that would strengthen the case. There may be others of course.

However, at this point, I think talk of court & convictions is jumping the gun. The first thing is to talk to Rape Crisis, and then if you can face it, go to the police. I would take someone with you to support you and request a female police officer, if possible.

As others have said there have been many more victims of historic cases coming forward since Savile etc, and the police are therefore more used to this type of case, at least in principle.

It's absolutely worth reporting this, even if you do not want to press charges, so that this information is on file. He may well be continuing to abuse girls now.

You definitely need to report this. Not only may it encourage others to come forward, but you may actually be the second, third or however many person to have reported him and doing so will strengthen the case against him even if another person reported him 10 years ago, or won't for another 5 years.

The police cannot force you to testify, and you can say that you don't want to testify as a lone voice if you want to.

Callani How would other people know if he had already been reported? how would I ever know if other people had reported him- would the police actually tell me that?

For what it's worth I was 13 at the time and he was 18/19. He knew exactly what he was doing. He has a daughter- god help her- who went to the same school that he used to pick me up from in his car and take me away to abuse M&S and pressure me into sex. I wonder how he felt picking her up from that school. He was probably leeching at her friends, or even her, god knows.

I have little doubt in my mind that he will have raped several other girls/ women. I just don't know if anyone will have reported him.

leering

abuse me, sorry typing on phone

Sorry OP, I didn't mean that you would know and I'm not sure how much the police would tell you for definite. What I meant was that, for all you know, you could be the 7th person who has reported which could be the tipping point for prosecution. It might be that instigating prosecution would bring further victims forwards as well.

I'm not saying you have to report him if you don't want to, but the fact is that if everyone doesn't report him he'll get away with it forever, whereas if you do report it, then it's at least a step in the right direction.

Hi WTL,

As a survivor of CSA, I think that as this has been torturing you for so long you definitely ought to report him, even if the result is not what you want in terms of a prosecution. The police have officers with lots of specialist training in this area and they are not easily fooled by appearances (family man, professional, charity workers etc etc the list goes on) They understand the context of these sorts of crimes.

I'd say from my personal experiences and speaking to many other survivors that it is more common for abusers to wreath this wonderful alter ego around themselves.

However you have to proceed in steps. This is so that you have a support network around you to lean on and help you pick up the emotional pieces.

You can start with Rape crisis, but I'd also suggest speaking to your GP definitely. Make an appoint today or go to the walkin. He may be able to give interim counselling sessions until things start up with rape crisis; whom you may not be able to get through to straight away. Your GP will also be able to refer you to a psychologist and or/group therapy with other survivors. You will need a lot of help. Plus it will strengthen your case if you have history of Sexual abuse already on your medical files.

No one should tell you that you won't get a conviction. BUT you should also be aware that that may not be the outcome. For you the emotional and mental relief must come form facing your abuser and doing the right thing. At the very least the bastard will have this on his file if someone else comes forward.

Best of luck and god bless.