The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Walking In A Winter Sober Land!

[Mouseface]

Hello Brave Babes, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the 'Bus Of Fun' (now you've come of age!)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, with a view to quitting or not... it's up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in your hands. And only you can make it happen.

Whatever your goal, you'll find support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking and those who fall off the Bus (arse over tit) will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY thread would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers. :)

That said, this Bus is happy to have you no matter what, as long as you can cope with chat of drinking, nights out/in, failures, cyclical drinkers, etc......

Everyone has always been welcome here and shall remain to be.

No-one is ever turned away. EVER.

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

The rest kind of happens as the posts appear.

I hope that's okay with you all.

You'll find the last thread HERE, THAT WILL LEAD TO THREADS BEFORE IT, SOME HISTORY

And the original and real, truly heartfelt reason that we are here in the first place is HERE. A VERY SOBERING READ

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, honest and will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

Anyone heard from mouse?

St.Stephens Day, made me ask, guggs. Im also a Dub.

ma loved your special Christmas message, have sent it to a load of friends, hope you don't mind me stealing your work.
isinde we have similar loving mothers by the sounds, grit your teeth hun!
mouse hope you've managed some happy memories between the tears, this time of year sucks when someone you love is not here to share it with.
why, the bravest of babes, you've not been far from my thoughts these past days/weeks, only a few more days before this year is behind you. Triple figures (and counting) af, you're friggin' awesome. I know you still have a load of crap ahead of you but day by day with the support of us all you will make it through the other side. Sorry your DH has made you feel lonelier lately. They can be such shits, men, sometimes. Found something that made me think of you: "the adversities of life are intended to make us better, not bitter." You, lady, have surfed this wave of adversity, getting better and stronger each and every day. You're such a huge inspiration although not one of us would wish to be tested the way you have been. Sorry not sure if I'm making sense, basically wanted to hand hold and let you know how it looks from the outside.
i'm hope you've had a good time with your dcs and ex has steered clear.
soc. guggs, beaches. venus, dancer, and all you brave babes I have failed to namecheck, hope you're doing good and keeping on.
I'm travelling in the sidecar, have been for a few days but not been wasted, so going in the right direction I think. Remaining vigilant for the next while so I don't start down that slippery fuck it slope!
Thanks for being here, it's meant a lot.

Evening, tis me, Mouse

I'm here, just not coping too well with not feeling sad and upset. I know that makes no sense. I don't feel like Mum has gone, I feel as if she (Mum) is still here and I can't let go. She's just finished washing up, tidying for the last time for today, she'll be tired because of the kids all being there yesterday.

Everywhere I look, it's cancer. TV, Radio, Others.....

Sorry.

Sorry to hog the thread when you are all fighting your own demons.

Ma - FWIW - I didn't see the post so I can't comment. xxx

To the rest of you lovely Brave Babes, KEEP FIGHTING, KEEP GOING, KEEP BEING BRAVE. For those around you, for those who love you, for those who need you and most of all, for YOU. xxx

I'm going to bed now, with tears in my eyes and an emptiness in my life. And I don't want that. All of the happiness has gone. It's a false smile that I wear, not my smile, not my own.

Keep on keeping on Babes. xxx

Morning mouse and mamma and why

why lots of celts in aa,I've noticed! That was very perceptive of you,my family are Irish but I'm second generation really. How are you doing today,lovely?

mouse Be kind to yourself,berevement is pretty much the worst thing that can happen to a person. In so many ways your lovely mum is with you.Thank you for thinking of us all despite your raw grief. I will light a candle today for you and your mum.

mama Good to hear from you. What will you do when the dreaded christmas period is over? would you like to give dry january a go?

Hello brave babes

Just dropping in to say hello, I have not posted for a long time. Mouse, my heart goes out to you. I don't really know what to say as nothing makes this kind of thing better does it, especially at this time of year. It is just so hard. You have given so much help and support to me, I feel sad that I can't do anything to help you in these circumstances. Time and being kind to yourself is all you can do I think. Xx

I hope everyone had a happy and peaceful Christmas. Those that remember me will know I have fallen on and off the bus all year but I have held it together for the last couple of months now and am two months sober. It feels incredible to think how far I have come and so much of it is down to the babes here, it was my fellow bus travellers that first helped me to see that it was even POSSIBLE to stop and have sober weeks and months. I honestly didn't believe it was, prior to that.

Friends' responses to me giving up has really made me see how people have viewed me - not something I am proud of - it is a relief to leave that behind now and having managed a sober Christmas I tell myself it has to be easy from now on, right?

I'm not really sure what I am trying to say as I am scared of sounding smug, it is a shame I didn't board the bus two years ago or so, so you could all have known me in my full drinking non-glory with some horrific behaviour and the cycle of guilt, shame, drink, that I had been trapped in for so many years. And I mean years and years

So anyway thank you again to you all, I will try and drop in a bit more. I need to give something back as I have done a lot of taking but not much contributing.

Love to you all

Pink X

Hey pink great to hear from you and so pleased that life is going well.
How are our other coloured babes . green and purple and silver?

Quick wave to all- have to dash

For those who are heading for dry January, why not start getting in a few days of light training now? A bit like Couch to 5k: jog / walk / jog walk.... If you know you're going to drink why not have your first drink as non-alcoholic (jog), then accept an alcoholic drink as your second (walk), then non-alcoholic drink next (jog again) etc.

Start now and in five days time (by January) you may feel better prepared for a leisurely continuous jog, and who knows, by February you may be running freely and lightly on sobriety, bounding over hurdles such as birthdays, stresses, highs and lows. We could call it 'Couch to 5 weeks sober'

Keep the image of light, free, easy sobriety in your mind if you struggle through the first few sweaty, gasping days. It is so worth it.

Now if only I could actually apply that to some exercise - I truly am a big sack of couch potatoes!

pink 2 months - amazing and I'm sure that every one of us can imagine where you've come from. You don't sound smug, you seem to be justifiably proud of yourself. And happy.

Thank you Venus. It's funny what you are saying about starting dry Jan now as that's what I did last year and I think that is the first time I boarded the bus.

I had SO much too much to drink last Christmas Day I was too ill to drink for about 3 days afterwards and just carried on, out of fear really. I can remember being scared to go to sleep on Xmas night as my heart was racing and I felt like my brain wasn't right, I really thought I would die in my sleep

It was horrible but it is good to remember these things as it helps me focus on what I don't want to go back to.

Hello Ma, I had almost forgotten the range of colours we had on the bus!

Hi babes,

Coming out the other side of Christmas! I have eaten and drunk to excess, nothing too dreadful apart from now feeling fat and sluggish. A fat slug infact. So I think I will take your advice venus and start my couch to sober today and limber up with a few af days to get a head start on January. Today I intend to get some fresh air, stomp in the snow, eat something fresh and then start a new book.

pink well done on 2 months and a sober Christmas why found the fact about 90% of admissions on day 1 of period fascinating. I always think it would be 7 days before for me, that is when my mental stability wobbles noticeably. Glad you made it through okay x and you mouse. It can be such a melancholy time when we are missing those we love.

Waves to spanna, Im, mama, Faire, Ma, Venus, isinde, guggs, rural, soc hope and all of the other brave babes. Have a good day xxx

Good idea *Venus"

Hi babes, I've been reading but not posting much as I've been drinking during xmas. I've not gone overboard but I've not been trying to not drink either....

I'm trying to get set for dry January, I sort of think it's like dieting and you have to be 'in the zone' to do it. I really liked your advice venus, I'm trying not to think too hard about about dry January as I don't want to start binging now because I won't be drinking later. As sod's law I probably will

Well done on two months pink you must feel fantastic :)

Hi babes, pink I'm so delighted for you, you sound so "together", I've been really bad the last few days and I feel like i really need to give my body a proper break from booze, your story has given me hope. I drink because I'm anxious and I'm anxious because I drink !!! I aim to throw myself into reading and would appreciate any good book suggestions from any other babes, a good book works wonders to distract me from the wine witch, my love to all of you wonderful babes tonight xxxx

I'm struggling to post but want to post so hello from Im x

I'm sometimes all you can do is just say that you're here. And all we can do is let you know that we are here quietly alongside you. No fancy words just a metaphorical arm round your shoulder.

Babes I am off for few days but I'll be thinking of you and wishing you all everything you want and hope for.

May 2014 be wonderful. May we all have the strength to make it great for ourselves. May we have the compassion to help others with understanding.

Wishing you all gentleness and love.

Thankyou venus that's what I need to just be here x

Hello, can I board please?

I am sick of being anxious, paranoid, guilty, bloated, headachy & nauseous. Not living 100% as well & happily as I could be because of a slight hangover.

I'm not setting a good example for my DC & I'm not being effective for myself.

I've read lots of the Brave Babes threads & I need to be brave myself!

cherry welcome aboard. I feel I could have written your post myself, I know exactly how you feel and I also want and need to be brave, I'm on day 2 and have drank far too much over Christmas and feel I've spoiled things for myself. I have made sure the kids have had a great time but have wasted a special time of year feeling all the symptoms you mentioned, if you have a plan I'm in. im hugs to you. Love to all my fellow babes today xxx

Thanks for the welcome babyjane

Hmm, what works for me is to not have drinks I like in the house. Or buy mini bottles of wine or those premix cans of G&T.

Home is the issue, not pub drinking or town drinking.

If there is a bottle of wine open, I'll drink it. All of it. So it has to not be there!

This time of year is hard because it's a bit accepted & permitted to be a bit sloshed. But I don't have an off switch really at times & if something is there I will drink it once I've started.

I've got non alcoholic lager in the house for the remaining festivities although I know that wouldn't work for everyone.
I'll get a mini bottle of fizz for midnight on NYE & then just the non alcoholic lager for a Friday night next year.

I stopped drinking when pg so I can do it. I just need to do it for all the reasons & not get complacent once the horrible feelings subside after a few days not drinking.

Baby Jane, I wish I could parcel the hope up and post it to you! It may sound a cliche to say 'if I can stop anyone can' but it is honestly true. The hard part I found was doing that first weekend/night out/hard day at work without a drink, because it is only then that you realise your can! But my brain used to tell me otherwise. Now I know it was wrong.

Alcoholism runs in my family, I know what a grip it can get on people. And I also know that just one drink will be enough to set me back on the path of regular drinking, that is all it takes. I've done it several times.

As for good books, have you read Drinking A Love Story? A great book. For something less related to drinking, anything by Jojo Meyes I really like, although she is often slated by the MN book club!

Welcome Cherry (hope I have your name right) I am the same as you, I have no off switch when it comes to drinking. Which is why I have decided I need to stop altogether. It isn't easy but I am getting there. I do enjoy an alcohol free lager, cold Becks Blue with lemonade is really lovely. I know the bus will help you, it has helped me so much.

I'm we don't know each other but I'm thinking of you. Hang in there.

Pink X

Welcome to the bus cherry

Hello pink thank you scared worried helpless it will all go away one day I know that.

Luvs to you all brave babes

pink I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement, I really truly feel my time has come to stop, I've had many attempts before but it feels right, dd is 14 and very aware of my drinking and my other dd is 3 and I want to enjoy her last preschool years. I've had a very tough year caused by a deep dark depression which turned my world upset down but a new year always feels like shedding emotional skin, my guilt at the distress I have caused others often sends me hurtling towards wine (how silly is that) but I need to forgive myself and make good my mistakes. I plan (along with the rest of the world) to make January about being healthy, getting fit and looking after body and soul!!! This bus has saved me in so many ways and the support given here and changed the future of many of us, I hope I can do the same for myself, love to all you fabulous ladeeees today xx