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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this odd?

37 replies

Lovevhate · 14/12/2013 20:42

This afternoon Dp and I put up the Xmas Decs. When it was all done I put the tea on which would be ready in about 45 minutes. By now the time was 7.30 and Dp announced that he was going out for some air for about half an hour as he hadn't been out all day. I was a bit surprised but not a problem. I suspected he was going to his friend"s house and pointed out that he would not be in time for tea. Anyway it's not 8.45 and tea is cold! Don't really know what I'm trying to say really. If I say something he will say I please myself and go where I like which is true but I wouldn't disappear out with no notice like this. I feel very unsettled and I don't know why.

OP posts:
onetiredmummy · 14/12/2013 20:52

Where do you think he is love?

Marne · 14/12/2013 20:54

I would be a bit pissed off, why couldn't he pop out after he had eaten, he knew you were about to cook?

Do you have any idea where he has gone?

Lovevhate · 14/12/2013 20:54

I think he's at his friends. But feel uneasy. However I have been cheated on by every lo get term relationship...

OP posts:
onetiredmummy · 14/12/2013 20:55

Sorry posted too soon :)

Yes that is a bit odd, particularly if he knew you were cooking for both of you.

Lovevhate · 14/12/2013 20:55

Long term

OP posts:
onetiredmummy · 14/12/2013 20:55

Did he get a phone call or text just before?

Does he do this often?

PrincessFlirtyPants · 14/12/2013 20:55

Have you tried to call him?

Lovevhate · 14/12/2013 20:57

He's just called. Is nearly home. Yes he does tend to do this every now and again. I feel sick.

OP posts:
MamaPingu · 14/12/2013 20:57

This is odd, bless you.
He better have a good reason! How rude and unfair on you OP Sad

Lovevhate · 14/12/2013 20:58

If I say something he will say I'm being unreasonable. I can't do an argument.

OP posts:
bionic77 · 14/12/2013 21:02

I hope you've chucked his tea on the bin? Say you thought he must have decided to eat out.

bellablot · 14/12/2013 21:02

Bizarre behaviour really. I suspect you might think if him being up to no good, cant you just ask him exactly where he has been?

Vivacia · 14/12/2013 21:04

You don't need to argue, just say that you're disappointed he didn't let you know he wasn't planning on eating with you, explain that you were worried.

In a normal relationship he would apologise and explain what kept him.

ReluctantBeing · 14/12/2013 21:05

Where does he say he's been?

Lovevhate · 14/12/2013 21:07

I haven't asked him yet. He knows I'm pissed off. Hate this crap.

OP posts:
MamaPingu · 14/12/2013 21:09

So sorry for you OP I know it's awful when you have all sorts rushing through your mind.

For your own sake make sure you get to the bottom of it and make sure he's in the dog house big time. He knew you were waiting with tea for him, he's taken advantage and has no respect for you. I'm sorry OP

DontmindifIdo · 14/12/2013 21:11

Canyou get at his phone? Check if he got a message/e-mail just before he went out.

Buzzardisnotina4birdroast · 14/12/2013 21:11

Oh Jeez, don't tell me you are planning on spending the rest of your life with this unease? You deserve peace. Thanks

Lovevhate · 14/12/2013 21:17

He won't tell me where he's been. Said it's to do with my Christmas present. I don't believe him and now he's upset with me and saying I'm being unreasonable for asking where he's been. I feel like puking.

OP posts:
RatherBeRiding · 14/12/2013 21:23

Why don't you believe him? Do you know he's lied to you before or are you just imagining the worst because of previous cheaters?

Lovevhate · 14/12/2013 21:24

I'm imagining the worst. He's really angry with me. Says I'm controlling.

OP posts:
MajesticWhine · 14/12/2013 21:25

If he was blameless he would be reassuring you, not angry. Red flags all over it I'm afraid.

Lovevhate · 14/12/2013 21:27

He still won't tell me. I don't trust any man. He always swears he would never cheat.

OP posts:
Marne · 14/12/2013 21:32

If it was a one off then I would be tempted to say 'he's telling the truth' if he does this often then I would say 'he's up to something', has he got history of cheating? You have a right to know where he is if he is living with you and you are cooking for him, you shouldn't have to be scared of asking him incase he goes off on one.

MamaPingu · 14/12/2013 21:35

Sounds like rubbish to me, if it was to do with your Christmas present why wouldn't he just say I'm sorry I'm not going to be back in time for tea and be upfront.

I'm sorry OP. Men have been the same with cheating on me and my current DP is currently under my watchful eye as he has raised suspicions.

Hope you're ok very much Sad