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Relationships

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Original poster

Do you get much time alone with dp/dh?

43 replies

lavender1 · 28/02/2004 22:17

Just wondering how many people have actually had nights/ w/e's away with dh/dp since they've been together....and if they think it has made a difference to their relationship....(I mean even a night away where someone has looked after your children and given them breakfast, taken them away for the day....so you had no responsibilities for one whole day)....would love to know

P.S. I haven't.

OP posts:

Original poster

lavender1 · 28/02/2004 22:18

together with children, meant to say.

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nutcracker · 28/02/2004 22:37

Never. Not once in 7 years

misdee · 28/02/2004 22:43

yup loads b4 we had 2 kids. dd1 loves staying at grandmas, unfortunatly dd2 is a handful so have trouble finding people willing to look after her as well.

Original poster

lavender1 · 28/02/2004 22:49

you mean her grandparents will only look after their grandchildren if they are no trouble...it's hardly her fault...people are different as children are different...does it bother you?

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emmatmg · 29/02/2004 05:58

No, none here either.

batey · 29/02/2004 07:08

We do a regular babysit swap, once a month each,so we go out then. Just about getting to the stage that I think dd2 could go to my sisters overnight. So maybe we'll go away soon.

We both have regular nights a week when we go out individually though.

misdee · 29/02/2004 07:27

not really, no. dd2 is really clingy still as well, and will have a strop if me and her dad arent about. and you needs eyes in the back of your head and in every room with dd2. you will have to meet her to see what i mean.

dd1 was looked by after her grandparents every sunday from around 6 weeks as i used to work, so has gotton used to being away from me, with dd2 i have been at SAHM all her life, so she is used to me being with her. dd1 being away from me and not worried about it is what makes me sad. at least i can use the excuse that dd2 is clingy so i can keep her at home and have cuddles.

Beetroot · 29/02/2004 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

eidsvold · 29/02/2004 08:59

nope - never had a night/weekend alone since dd was born ( 19months ago) Oops - I tell a fib - when she was in SCBU and having heart surgery we had time without her... hardly qualifies though does it... snatches of sleep is about it.

Hulababy · 29/02/2004 09:21

Not had a night/weekend away without DD since she was born. She is 22 months old. If we are going away she is normally invited anyway. And on big nights out my parents come here and stay over, although they do get her up and give her breakfast for us whilst we sleep in - but nevertheless we are still in the same home.

We got out together for an evening about once a month, sometimes more often. And at weekends we try and have our dinner together at the table AFTER DD is in bed - so that's our time together too. And DD is normally in bed by 7:30pm every night so again - the evening is our own.

TBH though, never bothered us this either. If we wanted it either sets of parents would be more than happy to look after DD.

Jimjams · 29/02/2004 09:27

ha ha ha ha.

Nope- never. Couldn't either the fall out would be horrendous.

Did have one night away from ds2 (now 2) when we took ds1 to BIBIC. Don't think that counts though (espcially as I shared a bed with ds1 and dh was on the floor!)

Clayhead · 29/02/2004 09:46

No, not since dd 26 months ago but then we've never actually asked anyone or tried to organise it either. Actually, since ds was born 6 months ago I haven't had any time at all apart from him & dd since dh has huge work commitments at the moment (apart from 2 hours on Boxing Day, thankyou db!).

jac34 · 29/02/2004 10:12

We have had a weekend away last year,the boys were 4yo at the time. They are quite a lot for my parents to manage though, so we usually limit it to just over night, but not very often.
My parents live about a 40 minute drive away so they would rather have them over night,rather than come and sit for us and then have to drive home.We went out a few weeks ago, and that was the first time since August.
I do feel it's very important to have time alone,we have always had the boys in a good bedtime routine,and they are usually fast asleep by 7:30pm, so we always get an evening alone together,and often wait till they are in bed, to have a nice peaceful meal together, a bottle of wine, and a chat about our day.
IMO this is vital to a healthy marriage !!!

Mermaid2 · 29/02/2004 10:35

We try and get out together once every 2 months or so and other times we got out separately.

CountessDracula · 29/02/2004 11:09

We go out every Sat night. Occasionally in the week too.

Since dd was born 18 months ago we have had 2 weekends and 2 weeks away without her.

lou33 · 29/02/2004 16:11

Dh and I went out on friday night for 2 hours. It was the first time in nearly 12 years we had been alone.

mummytojames · 29/02/2004 16:31

the grandparents had ds two weeks ago for the night they said they would have him any saterday to sunday but i find hes a hand ful when we get him back as in he screams when we leave the room as if he scared were going to leave him we had one night out when he was 2 months old and my partner decided to wait a while before we did it again because we were eaither talking about the baby or we were both checking our mobiles to make sure our parents hadnt called and we missed it some how lol were sad realy lol

Easy · 29/02/2004 17:34

occasionally (about once every 6 - 8 weeks) my BIL and his partner have ds overnight or even over weekend, which gives us time to ourselves.

We have to wait for them to ask tho'. If we ask for a particular event it never seems convenient.
I just asked if they can have him for end of March w/e, our 11th wedding anniversary (I spent the 10th in hospital). Apparently they're trying to get a late booking break for that w/e.

I wouldn't mind, but we can't afford a w/e away right now.

Ungrateful cow, aren't I ?

suzywong · 29/02/2004 18:30

Not outside the house.
Last time we tried to it was our 10th W.A. and we had a sitter for older DS but I caved in and took the baby to the restaurant in the pushchair.
The restaurant proprietor is a jolly old soul who likes a chat and virtually sat with us for 20 minutes and baby woke up and was super alert for 45 minutes so we got about 35 minutes out of the whole evening alone.

Hey Ho

Original poster

lavender1 · 29/02/2004 18:32

What happens if they're over 7, as most of the replies are for toddler age? Just wondering how much time away other people get and if it's normal for no relatives to ever look after children for more than a couple of hours?...replies gratefully appreciated

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noddy5 · 29/02/2004 18:37

My ds goes to my parents occasionally for weekends.My sister talks about it but never has and he's 9 now!When he sleeps over at friends we have time together but are often too knackered to go out so tend to have a nice meal at home.We go out together during the day as my dp works odd shifts and is often home.We have a bit of a chat in bed before we drop off-and sex if i'm feeling generous..........so I suppose we do spend loads of time together.Some of our friends never see each other

Original poster

lavender1 · 29/02/2004 18:53

Sounds lovely we do get lots of time together too, have been for lunch when we've both had a day off, which is every few months or so, or more frequently...without the children is only during the week, as w/e noone has them for more than a couple of hours at a time...really interesting to see how other couple's behave...like the fact that people like spending lots of time with dp/dh as I do too and wondered if it was the norm.

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noddy5 · 29/02/2004 18:55

i would rather spend time with dp than anyone else I even miss him when he's at work-tragic I know....

jac34 · 29/02/2004 18:59

Me too Noddy, I still get butterflies when I hear his key in the door. We'll have been together 10 years in May.

Original poster

lavender1 · 29/02/2004 19:00

I even ring my dh when I'm at work, sometimes every day, sometimes more

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