Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Do you get much time alone with dp/dh?

43 replies

lavender1 · 28/02/2004 22:17

Just wondering how many people have actually had nights/ w/e's away with dh/dp since they've been together....and if they think it has made a difference to their relationship....(I mean even a night away where someone has looked after your children and given them breakfast, taken them away for the day....so you had no responsibilities for one whole day)....would love to know

P.S. I haven't.

OP posts:

Grommit · 29/02/2004 19:32

have not been away for 4 years together BUT at Easter we will go to a luxury hotel for one night and mum will have the kids!!!
This thread started a friend (fellow mumsnetter) and I talking and we are planning a night away (from dhs and kids) to a hotel/spa in March...has to be done every now and then

Evita · 29/02/2004 20:21

We haven't left dd for a night since she was born, 17 months ago. As much as anything I'm not sure where she could stay - we have no family nearby at all and don't drive so we'd have to go wherever we were taking to stay over too. We have no space to have anyone to stay here. Having said that I'm not sure we'd be ready just yet to leave her for a weekend. Maybe when she's over 2. Or maybe when she's over 22. We're a bit soppy about her really.

lou33 · 29/02/2004 20:51

Actually I am mistaken. We got our honeymoon night alone, when dd1 was 3. That was the last time ( 9 years ago).

Posey · 29/02/2004 21:08

Never had a night away together (might be because we've never particularly wanted to ) but a fair few whole days. Children don't stay with the grandparents on their own as they're too far away for one night, although dd has expressed an interest in going for a few days this summer. Don't get loads of evenings out as dh works evenings/nights, but usually forced out by parents when they come to visit. Get quite a lot of quality time with dh during the day, especially if dd is at school and ds asleep, and not too knackered to enjoy it IYKWIM

suedonim · 29/02/2004 21:33

We've had very few nights away from our children, I could count them on the fingers of one hand, in nearly 29 years of being parents. We're due two nights away in May for a wedding, though. It isn't something we've ever wanted to do, tbh.

charlieplus3 · 29/02/2004 22:03

Not sure what reaction ill get from posting this, but here goes.

In the past few days Lavender you have started two threads which are relationship based where you are seeking advice. I assume this by your use of sad face icons.

Now last week there was a very heated discussion on a thread fuelled by yourself and your partner where you distincley told the mums netters what you thought of them and their discussions re relationships, in a not very nice manner at all.

You also told them in no uncertain terms to butt out of your life and stop talking about your relationship as you were sick of it, even though you posted about it in the first place.

So my question is why have you started these personal relationship threads. Are you on mums net to wind people up or do you really want advice and friendship? Im flummoxed, just trying to understand where you are coming from.

Original poster

lavender1 · 29/02/2004 23:02

charlieplus3, never had a problem with people talking about my relationship with dh, just didn't want it brought up on other threads when dh and I had sorted those problems out and I had asked kindly not to keep mentioning them, a thread is about the thing you are discussing, I would never (out of respect for the person) bring up someone else's problems on another thread...that's all

OP posts:

Original poster

lavender1 · 29/02/2004 23:11

btw what I thought of these discussions was dh not me....nothing wrong with discussing things but asking to stop talking about personal details on another thread is okay by me..we all have a voice but a please should be respected and something else discussed if asked

OP posts:

Batters · 01/03/2004 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Batters · 01/03/2004 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Perkin · 01/03/2004 08:39

Lavender1, could I just echo what charlieplus3 and Batters have said, it's all very confusing that one minute you are discussing what sounds like a horrific atmosphere at home and then it's all sorted.

Also, you have started a couple of threads recently asking why family don't come to visit/offer to help. Am I alone in thinking that it may be due to what you have previously described goes on in your house?

What you posted before was very harrowing and got a lot of people very concerned about you.

Abitskint · 01/03/2004 10:00

I said on Lavender's original relationships thread that it all sounded strange to me, none of it made sense and now even less so.

Personally, I think you are practicing to write for Neighbours or Emmerdale or some such.

You've certainly confused me.

slug · 01/03/2004 10:51

My inlaws took her for 6 days when she was 7 months old so we could go to a wedding in Ireland. They've also taken her for 3 days so we could have a dirty weekend abroad. In general they'll take her overnight about once a month or so while we go out to gigs or dinner.

I've been very careful since she was born to make sure she felt as at home at her grandparents as she does with us. She has her own cot and sleeping bag at their place which helps.

charlieplus3 · 01/03/2004 10:56

I dont want this to turn into a have a go at Lavender thread,but it was you that killed and changed the Veg thread Lavender. You took what i said very well and i must admit that you have surprised me, again, as i expected you to have a go at me.

What batters says is true. I think people are concerned for you. So if you do need advice dont be afraid to ask, it isnt a weakness to ask for help.

Good luck for the Future.

And back to the thread.

No i dont get any time with DP and when i do i usually fall asleep. But the relationship works as we both know its a difficult and tiring time that will pass.

Galaxy · 01/03/2004 11:04

message withdrawn

charlieplus3 · 01/03/2004 11:10

I cant get away. My own fault as never left Dd who is now 21months with anyone. Now i cant as she gets too distressed.We dont have family close by and most of our friends are childless.

Now with ds i make sure he goes to lots of people, so we are both used to it. Otherwise i will never go out again.

charlieplus3 · 01/03/2004 11:11

Anyway i dont particullay want to go anywhere.

I love the kids and love being at home.

Plenty of time for that when they are older

Original poster

lavender1 · 01/03/2004 20:30

original reason for this thread, was not to discuss a relationship problem I had, but merely a curiosity to see if anyone ever got w/e's etc away with their other half. If I explained that where I live 90% of people have inlaws etc constantly tripping in and out of their houses (close community..you notice these things)...friend of mine even went to Florida for a week for her 10th wedding anniversary with just her dh, while her parents looked after their children...it is very normal around here to see grandparents picking children up from school, am just curious to know if it happened outside where we lived that's all...nothing else to be read into this at all.(also with the kissing thread...again very curious to know how othe couple's live...as you don't always discuss this with everyone you meet...and yes interesting if writing a soap or the like).

OP posts:

Flip

1 2