Need to vent

[30SecondsToVenus]

Sorry for posting again im just upset and need to vent.

My dp does absolutely nothing at all around the house or with the dcs. He doesn't even do the bare minimum that ge should be doing or at least want to be doing with the dcs. He says because he works, he shouldn't have to do anything.

I have no friends vat all in this area we moved here a couple of years ago and due to me having no confidence at all and being socially awkward, I havent made a single friend.

My only friends live miles away so I very rarely see them. I actually havent seen them for months because ive had to pull out of any catch ups due to dp refusing to watch the kids at the last minute.

I was supposed to be going out tonight and it's been planned for a few weeks. i asked dp a few weeks ago if it was ok for me to go out and he said yes and that he finishes work early that day and hes off the following day. ive bought myself a new outfit and ive been looking forward to it for a long time. I spend every day and night looking at the same 4 walls with the dcs and im bored out of my mind. Ive started talking to myself just to have some company and thats just sad.mI can go for days wiyhout receiving a text or call.

he came home from work a couple of hours ago and told me I wasn't going anywhere tonight abd that he was going out instead. This will be his 15th night out in a row. I asked him why I couldn't go out and he said there was no need for me to go out anywhere and I had to stand for half an hour explain7ng why I should get to go out. I started to cry and ge laughed at me, got his coat and left. that will be him till closing time.

he just doesn't understand why its so draining looking after 2 young children on your own every day and nihht. id undersrand if I was out a lot but this was to be the first time since July.

he goes out at least 5 nights a week and doesn't see an issue with this at all.

im making plans to leave him but i know illl be even more alone

im really upset and my friends arent too happy that they have travelled all that way to see me and I cant go out again

Do you know you are in an emotionally abusive relationship?

In the meantime, can your friend come around to your house and you can at least have a glass of wine and a natter whilst the kids are in bed. It is classic abusive behaviour to try and stop you having friends/support. Maybe today will be the day you decide to stop.

Can your friends come round to yours instead? Not the same I know, but at least you can see them. And yeah, leave him. Seems like you are on your own already. Life is too short for wasting on a man like him. Have a cyber hug!

You don't just need to vent, you need to get away from this self-serving, abusive, controlling, malicious, cruel fuckwit. Before you go mad.

You asked him if you 'could' go out?

You are his equal, pet. His equal!!

Ring your friends, tell them what happened, ask them to come over with wine and let it all out to them. Real friends will be horrified and want to help.

And make plans with her support to leave this intolerable situation that is doing nothing for you or your kids.

What a horror. Stop doing all the house work and the minute he gets home run out and do what you want. Turn the tables!

On an more serious note has he always been this much of an arse or is this a brand new DH. Hopefully it's new behaviour and you can salvage the relationship before you have enough of his twuntishness and walk out.

Virtual hand hold.

If that was my DH then he would be coming home to his shit on the doorstep and the door bolted from the inside.

Horrible twunt.

Keep making those plans OP, ask your friends to come over and see if they can provide any practical help or support.

Im so angry right now.

As soon as dd2 wakes up (shes 5 months) im going to get the bus to the pub and hand them over and do a runner.

Im getting more and more depressed by the day and I am desperate for a few hours to myself with another adult.

would that be the wrong thing to do? his friends know exacy what he islike so there wont be any aggro from them

I think that is an excellent idea Venus

Great idea!

I wouldn't lower myself to walk in a pub with my kids but it's up to you. What I would be doing is making plans to get away from him, he's a bully and a vicious one at that. Can't you move back to where you are from and be around your family, honestly, this man will put you in an early grave, why are you putting up with it?

Im off to get ready

Also, do you actually really trust him with the kids?

You're going to dump the kids with him at the pub? Bad idea. He's an abusive cunt and you are involving the children in a power play that is likely to go wrong.
Forget your night out, that's ruined. Make a plan to get out completely, then carry it out.

I wouldn't do that tbh. Don't escalate things with the kids around - he could get nasty.

Call your friends, get them to come to your house and explain EVERYTHING. They will want to help you.

Leave this horrible man

Bad idea that will put you in the wrong , make plans to leave for good , can't ur friends come round

Hope you didn't take the Dc OP - not really fair on them although I empathise with your situation.
It must be shite to live with such a selfish bastard of a man.

You really need to get rid asap - I'd do what another poster above mentioned - pack his bads, leave them outside and lock up. If he makes a scene call the police.
Seriously, you already live like a single parent.
Imagine not having there and you can do as you wish, book a babysitter and get yourself out with no one to answer to.

*pack his bads??? of course that should say Bags.
too much wine

You are in an abusive relationship OP. And i bet his 15 nights out in a row is costing family money. Selfish bastard. He sees you as beneath him He does NOT see you as a person. Please phone Womens Aid.

Never mind whether it was strategically the best move, I hope you did it and had a good time. I hope, too, you told your friends the truth and they're standing by you. Update, won't you? :)

ive just had a chance to get back on thank you for the messages.

I didn't go anywhere last night, my friends came round and we were having a lovely evening until dp came home around midnight and kicked off because I had people in the house.

My friends left and ive had snidey comments and a guilt trip all day. I feel awful and im not even going to bother in future its not worth the hassle.

I feel like I don't matter and its very difficult living with somebody who doesn't love me or care about me at all.

On th other hand, its very difficult to end things because every now and then ill see the old dp and cling on hoping things will change

I've bumped this for you, 30. Have a read, it's short :)