STBXH wants me back yet..

[NickysMam]

I responded to a thread a long time ago about how horrible and unhappy I was living with my in laws and how I was mistreated and made to feel like a slave and how STBXH supported the abuse I endured, so I left back in October.

I haven't spoken to him since he called me to tell me that no one would be interested in me with two children. So last night he called me on a new number begging me back.

But then he decided to give me conditions should I wish to return.. no really, he did.

I thought I'd share them so we can all have a good laugh at how much of a d*head he really is!!

1. He told me that anything "disrespectful" that I do towards him (Not doing as he asks without questioning. Disagreeing with him. Rudeness while performing my role as a good wife), he will give it back to me "ten fold".

2. He also said that he will not let me make any decisions as "all the decisions you've made has put us in problems and I'm not taking it anymore" one decision he mentioned was accepting my parents help and "undermining his authority as my husband" even though it benefited him more than me.

3. His family take precedence over mine and if his aunty tells me to do something, whether I am tired or not, I should do it.

4. I should call his family members at least twice a week (he hasn't spoken to my parents since June)

5. I don't get a say in DC2's name as he hates the name we chose for DS as he felt "bullied into it" Despite the fact that he chose it months before we even conceived him.

6. He will cut down the household allowance since he is being "bullied" into getting our own place (he lives with his uncle and aunty and DC2 is due in March so he expected the four of us to live there forever it seems) and so any "luxuries can be forgotten"

7. "I expect you to do all the housework and the childcare. I'm the provider so I'm exempt"

8. "When you go back to work, I expect you to pay half the household bills and take care of the children's needs with your pay"

9. I'm expected to send a Christmas card to his family. Again, no mention of mine.

10. "Call my aunty tomorrow and show some respect. You haven't called them since you left, you're so ungrateful."

I responded with "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to get back with you, the prospect sounds really exciting! I will get back to you as soon as a decision is made"

Blocked.

Feel disgusted in myself for getting with him in the first place. Oh well, at least I have my children out of this.

Soon To Be Ex Husband

Aaah, that's actually really obvious!!

I thought it was Stupid Twat Bastard too

Lol Teeny I'll update you but I doubt there's much to update on.

I'm not making contact with him unless he buys another sim card to call me, because as thrilling as a future with him sounds, I'm not running back to that sob.

What a prince of a man. How can you resist such a heartfelt, loving offer?

Seriously, how are you? Are things going ok?

OMFG!! No I actually mean OMFG!!!!

That is bloody hilarious !

Geez I wouldn't even touch Tom Hardy if he laid out rules like that.

You got away OP - thank goodness you saw the light and binned the eejit.

Well, he made that one easy for you, didn't he?

Isn't it wonderful when you get to the stage that you can laugh at an ex like this instead of being intimidated?

Not in a text, but when I stupidly let exH in the house again after DV (not a beating) and calling the police on him, I told him that we were finished and he sounded really contrite and supposedly wanted to do everything to get back together. But he refused couples counselling and when I told him I'd give him a month to prove himself, he said "But in a month we have to get back together or else". I didn't reply, but there was a mental note of, keep dreaming arsehole.

Don't make any hasty decisions you may regret!

Please take your time with texts to him to let him know how you are spending every waking minute contemplating his offer. Make sure you don't confuse contemplation and constipation...

What an utter knobhead! Your reply is priceless

Did he actually list them out in that way, like he had all his conditions written down? Jeez.

You know that this numpty will spend the rest of his life telling everyone "well, I tried to make it work, but she just wouldn't listen to reason".

Hahahahaha

Fucking priceless.

That's weirdly fascinating.

Out of interest, does he come from a really patriarchal culture, or is he just bog-standard English?

Gosh NickysMam you must be tied up in knots whilst you try and make such a decision...

How can anyone be so deluded?

If he contacts you again, I'd go back with "Are you on glue?"

I don't know which mumsnetter came up with that, but it makes me smile every time!

King As I remember, he is not bog-standard...

He is all numpty however

Hope all is well for you today, NickysMam

Hush, she can't come to the keyboard just now, she's making wild passionate reconciliatory love with the soon-to-be-ex... or maybe he won't be ex after all, having shown such an irresistibly tender side to his nature. Clearly the prospect of losing her has brought him to his senses.

(sorry if that put you off your breakfast, OP)

Well done OP, and thank you for the source of hilarity.

How did you manage not to snort down the phone? I would have been hysterical!

Agree with "Are you on glue?"

This was the first of what came to be known as TidyDancer's Gluezilla freds. Page 17.

Oh what tempting offers....he makes life with him,sound so wonderful. Life with a psychopath. How delicious

Thanks for the offer, but no. Oh, and I'd add, do let me know, of you EVER find any women stupid enough to take him up on that.

On a serious note, I'd be scared to let my children even bee round him, but I can't talk,, I've just dated a sociopath!

Funnily enough, there is a programme on tonight about 'normal psychopaths' in our everyday lives!