Today I am falling apart :-(

[Mosschops30]

Off sick with a cold I can't shift.
Decree nisi through
Just rang ex in tears saying I will always love him, have cried so hard. He said we could've fixed it but it's gone too far and now we can't.

Please come and hand hold, I'm still crying

Sounds like you need a good cry. Just let it all out and you will hopefully feel better. Sorry Mosschops30 Hope your day starts to feel better along with your cold.

this too shall pass xx been there myself. It will get better I promise.

Sorry don't have any words to make you feel better but sending you plenty of hugs xx

for you.

Still crying god I feel awful

Want to man up and get on with life but am just so

Told him he never made me feel like 'the one' he said I was always 'the one' which just makes me cry harder.

Keep thinking I should've tried harder

Please tell me this phase will pass, never cried so much

Sounds like a really bad day, OP. Can you remind yourself of why you split up? It's all too easy to look at past relationships with rose tinted glasses, but if they'd genuinely been as wonderful as we tell ourselves they were, they wouldn't be past! Do you have any threads on here about the breakdown that you could skim to remind yourself of why you had to break up?

I've written it down today but it looks trivial, we've been separated 9 months and this is the first time I've really cried.
I feel sick, can't eat

Can I list again? Maybe you can make me feel better?

List it Mosschops if it will make you feel better

I start your list. He says you're his "the one". Talk is cheap. Love is actions not words. You deserve someone who says "thank fuck you rang, don't cry, I love you and I will do whatever I can to be with you, rip that nisi up".
Let him go, love. One day, enjoy being with a man who would stop the divorce.

I'm sorry you're feeling so low. x

Thank you
Here's my list from another thread:

He had no respect for me, my career, sexually.
He would spend money on his hobbies rather than the kids/house/me
Once he had sex with me even though he knew I didn't want it, I lay still through the whole thing but he carried on like it was normal.
He could sulk and not speak to me for days
He would never say sorry for anything

But I knew if anything happened he'd be there, if I was ill or anything.
I think he loved me in his way, it just wasn't how I wanted to be loved

You didnt take too much advice from the relationship forum on here did you?
Sorry to have to write that, but I think it is one of the worst boards for advice on mumsnet.

You did have a new partner. Is he still about for you?

Just seen your last post.
I think that you are grieving. Entirely natural.

Put the list on your fridge! Wine in the fridge, every time you refil you'll be reminded why you got shot of him!

Still feeling shitty and tearful today when will it end

You could also put on your fridge a couple of things from your other thread:

'So it's down to me to get a job and another visa to help a man who's screwed me over for the past five years to live his dream.'

'To add insult to injury he is online dating, telling the children the names of his one night stands, choosing to go and see women the night before he leaves for a business trip rather than job hunting. He's a complete cunt tbh, I wonder how much of a loss he would be to the kids anyway if they never saw him again.'

If it's the first time you've cried yesterday then you probably have a way to go yet.
When I split, I cried and cried on and off for months.
It seems you are now coming to terms with it being the end and you are rightly grieving now.
Go with it. Cry when you want, you will find you have an almost endless supply of tears for a while.
But then the crying will get less and the time between cried will grow and then you will be out the other side.
Utilise all the friends and family support you can muster.
Let your family and friends help you through this horrible time.
I don't know where I'd be now if it wasn't for the RL support I got.
They will want to help you, so let them.
I does get better but it does take time.
Re-read that list again and again.
It's not good and you know it.
Here's some and - is for later though

Twinkle that's not my thread, I think you have me confused with someone else

Yes I think I'm grieving for the loss now, I'm desperately sad, feel like I failed at marriage, failed my children

And yes I seem to have an endless river of tears that never stops flowing

When I split from my ex I knew it was absolutely the right thing, I still cried for days. Knowing it's the right thing doesn't make it easy.

I used to think about the worst times and how relieved I was I'd never have to live them again.

That was mossmans thread, I hope you feel better op

Oh Chops!

Sounds like grief.
It's not grief for him you know. It's grief for the marriage you wanted (deserved!) for you and DC.
He is just familiar and thus feels safe.
You sound lost and panicking Just hold tight. It will feel easier soon.

That post has made me cry again, I don't know how much more of this I can take.
I am grieving for a marriage where my husband told me he loved me, shared responsibilities, respected and valued me and made me want to have sex with him because he's all of the above.

But I did have a man who didn't cheat on me, looked after me when I was ill and never hit me. Why wasn't this enough??

I'm really sorry that was Mossman!

It wasn't enough because not cheating and not hitting isn't sufficient to make a relationship work.

Going on your above list, it's not possible to have a decent relationship with someone who doesn't respect you.

But I could've carried on so my children had a family, I am consumed with guilt, fear, sadness