Lied about chocolate - this is so pathetic

[carrottop]

This is so pathetic but it makes me so angry. Dh bought me some chocolates a few days ago. We ate a few of them and we were going to have the rest tonight. i opened the box and saw that one was missing. I asked him if he'd eaten it and he said no. i said "i know you have" and then he guiltily said "yes". Why the f**k does he lie about a chocolate - just makes me wonder what else he lies about! i'm fuming now. How do i deal with this one. it's not the first time i've found out he's lied over trivial things

and he's hurt me even more now because he's showing no sympathy about me being in pain after being at the hospital

did you not read WigWamBam's post?

read it again now

and again

and then go sort yourself out

yes read wig wams post and it makes sense . thing is tho i've lost count of how many counsellors i've seen and never makes any difference

its prolly cos you go ape shit over little things. no need to lie to someone who dunt give a shit over little things

counselors aren't going to change you, only you can do that.

but i wouldn't have been bothered if hed told the truth at all. he said it was an instictive reaction to say no

Are you happy with him apart from the lying? It sounds to me like you are picking holes in your relationship. Is there something else fundamentally wrong, either in your relationship or something that's affected you in another relationship or childhood?

And ask yourself ... why would it be an instinctive reaction?

Because he knows that whether he'd owned up to it or not, he was going to get it in the neck from you. If he'd said Yes, you'd still have been peed off with him. You are treating him like a child, he is reacting like one.

Let it go. The chocolate doesn't matter and in the scheme of things, neither does the lie. It's your skewed perspective that's causing all of this, not his lie. Get yourself some help - if the counsellors you've seen up until now haven't been useful, see a different one - and keep doing so until you find one you feel you can make progress with.

Surely you can see that keep going over and over this isn't doing anyone any good - least of all you?

Message withdrawn

I agree that you should keep trying at counselling. But just a thought - I know someone who goes to one counsellor after another and always says none of them are right for her.

The problem is, she always stops going when they start getting down to the nitty gritty with her and her only use for them is using them for someone to moan to about everybody else - not someone to help HER change anything about herself. She doesnt like it when they start probing her for change, so she dumps them and tries another.

Finding the right counsellor is a hard and you may have to try a few, but remember ultimately you are there to change yourself as you cant do anything about the rest of the world.

i know you're right wigwam. we had a chat about it thisernoon and i've said i dont care about the choolate and he's agreed not to tell silly lies anymore. he's said he'll give me a masage to help me get a good sleep tonight so feeling a bit better now - just very tired. thanks everyone for your comments

I think you need to treat him like an adult.