Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lied about chocolate - this is so pathetic

62 replies

carrottop · 13/07/2006 21:33

This is so pathetic but it makes me so angry. Dh bought me some chocolates a few days ago. We ate a few of them and we were going to have the rest tonight. i opened the box and saw that one was missing. I asked him if he'd eaten it and he said no. i said "i know you have" and then he guiltily said "yes". Why the f**k does he lie about a chocolate - just makes me wonder what else he lies about! i'm fuming now. How do i deal with this one. it's not the first time i've found out he's lied over trivial things

OP posts:
carrottop · 13/07/2006 22:09

No not found out about anything important. he has lied a few times about trivial things and knows how much it annoys me. i know it's just a chocolate, but it's just that he knows how much i hate the lying and still does it and he's now tried to blame me for him lying as he said i asked him accusingly

OP posts:
Cappucino · 13/07/2006 22:11

how anal are you?

you counted them?

carrottop · 13/07/2006 22:13

No i just knew there was a particular one i wanted and it had gone!

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 13/07/2006 22:13

Sounds like you're treating him like a child ... all this over one chocolate?

Pick your battles; it's not worth getting het up over this one. So he fibbed about a chocolate - so what? Doesn't make him a serial liar. Save your anger for when he really deserves it.

carrottop · 13/07/2006 22:14

thanks wig wam, i know you're right. Will go and make up now - hopefully

OP posts:
SherlockLGJ · 13/07/2006 22:20

It's a family affair, it's a family affair
It's a family affair, it's a family affair
One troll grows up to be
Somebody that just loves to love
And another child grows up to be
Somebody you'd just love to OUT Momma Troll loves the both of them
You see it's in the blood
Both kids are good to Momma Troll
"Blood's thicker than mud"
It's a family affair, it's a family affair
Newlywed a year ago
But you're still checking each other out
Nobody wants to blow
Nobody wants to be left out
You can't leave, 'cause your heart is there
But you can't stay, 'cause you been somewhere else!

You can't cry, 'cause you'll look broke down
But you're cryin' anyway 'cause you're all broke down!

It's a family affair
It's a family affair

With apologies to SLY.

JESUS this batch of trolls are closer than close.

carrottop · 13/07/2006 22:22

Have told him i accepted his apology and he said he'd try not to lie about silly things again. I still feel crap though - just feels that all the effort i'd been making with my anxiety problems has been thrown back at me

OP posts:
HappyDaddy · 13/07/2006 22:30

Can I have a chocolate?

Cappucino · 13/07/2006 22:30

ah well

at least you'll have stopped him ever buying you chocolates again

carrottop · 13/07/2006 22:34

Ok Happy daddy, from a blokes point of view, am i being stupid for being upset?

OP posts:
HappyDaddy · 13/07/2006 22:35

If this is serious then here goes.

It depends, if he constantly lies about little things then yes, it's annoying.
If he knows you overreact to every little thing though, I can't blame him.

carrottop · 13/07/2006 22:38

I have found out he's lied a few times about fairly trivial things. I wouldn't have cared if he'd told me about it, it's the fact that he lied that's upsetting, i couldn't care less about the chocolate

OP posts:
HappyDaddy · 13/07/2006 22:39

Yes but if you both know they are trivial, do you overreact?

carrottop · 13/07/2006 22:40

No not really. have a little moan ,then forget it usually

OP posts:
HappyDaddy · 13/07/2006 22:45

Why don't you try not to say anything, the next time? See if it stops.

carrottop · 13/07/2006 22:47

What do you mean? Just pretend i don't know he's lying?

OP posts:
HappyDaddy · 13/07/2006 22:53

You do seem to be making a bigger deal than necessary over trivial things. I meant, stop asking if he's taken something / eaten the choccie you wanted. See if he mentions it himself. If he thinks you'll blow up if he admits it, of course he'll lie. I would.

ameli · 14/07/2006 12:41

i think you should get over it, if my dh did that i couldnt care less. I f you really dont trust him then tell him.

shimmy21 · 14/07/2006 12:45

Carrottop, are you suffereing from depression?

carrottop · 14/07/2006 13:37

not so much depession but anxiety . he knows about this and has said he'd try to help but him lying just makes me more anxious

OP posts:
carrottop · 14/07/2006 13:52

tried to make up yesterday and asked him not to lie again and i agreed not to over react to the truth as lies are much more annoying. but feeling terrible today as had very little sleep and just been to hospital for something and am in pain. he came with me as i couldnt drive afterwards but has offerred no sympathy

OP posts:
Cappucino · 14/07/2006 13:52

go to the GP and get yourself some therapy then

otherwise you're never going to be able to decide if it's worth getting worked up about

zubb · 14/07/2006 13:54

you knew he'd eaten it before you asked him though didn't you - so why ask him unless you wanted to have a go at him? I'd have said 'no' as well I think as it sounds obvious that you weren't happy about it.

WigWamBam · 14/07/2006 13:59

This is going to sound really harsh, and I apologise in advance - but it isn't him who has a problem here, it's you, and it's something you need to address yourself otherwise you'll drive him away, and drive yourself demented. Demanding apologies for something so small, still going on about it the next day, lying awake at night fretting about it ... you have things completely out of perspective. Whether it's the anxiety at fault or some other problem, you need to get yourself some help.

Once you've got yourself sorted out, you'll get some perspective back. Then you can address your dh's lies a little more objectively, and will be able to see more clearly whether it's worth getting wound up about.

carrottop · 14/07/2006 14:00

but if he lies about silly things like this, how can i ever know if he's telling the truth about big things

OP posts: