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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Date Number 3

113 replies

Honeysucklerose · 25/11/2013 16:55

Hi just had lovely 2nd Date with a guy , we hit it off and had a good time , he was very thoughtful and kind, mmmmm the thing is this is my first date in 2years ............, so wondering what we should do for a 3rd date ?, or shall i just wait for him to suggest something?

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Lazyjaney · 07/12/2013 17:33

Where and we don't expect to hear back till tomorrow Grin

Original poster
Honeysucklerose · 08/12/2013 07:10

had Dinner at lovely place near me , thencame back for coffee , image our faces when my Daughter is sitting in the living room eating a Pizza!, we had coffee he went home , good 4th Date was quite glad my girl was there lol!

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Hissy · 08/12/2013 08:34

Your DD isn't on MN is she? Xmas Hmm

Original poster
Honeysucklerose · 08/12/2013 08:39

In a word No my girl is not on MN THANKFULLY!,

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Original poster
Honeysucklerose · 09/12/2013 15:31

Having second thoughts to my date when is it acceptable to be asked to see where they live?, as he is half an hour drive away feel I need to see his situation as he has seen mine ...............any advice gratefully accepted .

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Hissy · 09/12/2013 15:33

Don't over think it! Just see what happens, you have only met him 4 times and tbh, being in your home setting is one thing, being in his (he may feel) is more risky for you.

Let things happen as they happen, main thing is to feel comfortable with it.

Horsemad · 09/12/2013 16:36

You could always suggest going out where he lives, then see if he invites you for 'coffee'! Grin

Original poster
Honeysucklerose · 09/12/2013 16:54

Thanks Horsemad good idea it is tricky though is it not , and not sure how to aproach it but thanks will bear this in mind .

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Horsemad · 09/12/2013 16:56

Ach, just make out you're saving him a journey over to you and go from there!
Ask if he has any good restaurants/pubs near him!

Original poster
Honeysucklerose · 09/12/2013 16:57

Yes Hissy I agree , I need to go with the flow and am trying to do that , but when it comes to trust I need to know more of his situation if you get me thanks anyway.

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Original poster
Honeysucklerose · 09/12/2013 17:01

Good suggestion Horsemad thanks

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Original poster
Honeysucklerose · 11/12/2013 06:26

Well had 4 dates not heard anymore guess that is it ?????, men dont understand them !

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Original poster
Honeysucklerose · 11/12/2013 06:39

Been silly aint I ?, guess he s just not that into me end of .

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JeanSeberg · 11/12/2013 06:39

Sounds like he's happy to go on a date if you do the running and organising but otherwise he can take it or leave it.

Don't contact him now and see what happens.

JeanSeberg · 11/12/2013 06:49

Also noticed you said you email him - do you has his phone number too?

Original poster
Honeysucklerose · 11/12/2013 06:57

Yea thanks Jean thats what I feel I am doing all the running and aint going do it anymore , yea i have his phone number and email why?

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JeanSeberg · 11/12/2013 07:14

Just wondered if you emailed him as you didn't have a phone number for him, that's all. I tend to organize stuff via text or phone but that's just me. Pull back now and see if he organises anything.

Original poster
Honeysucklerose · 11/12/2013 07:17

Well we did Skype each other but , I am not going contact him at all , hard as I feel we did hit it off , I must have got it wrong, thanks for the interest , this dating thing is a minefield especially when I have been away from it for so long!, you have a good day Jean .

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JeanSeberg · 11/12/2013 07:25

Tell me about it, I've totally given up on any form of dating and staying thankfully single for now!

Hissy · 11/12/2013 07:33

Stop micro analysing this!

If he calls, he calls, if he doesn't, his loss.

He doesn't owe you anything (yet) and neither do you. This is just about getting to know a person to see if they are 'dateworthy'

It's a 2 way process and not worth investing yourself emotionally until you start seeing each other for a while.

By that I mean measuring in months not dates.

This second guessing, hand-wringing is not going to do you any good at all.

Woman up!

[manly pat]

Hissy · 11/12/2013 07:38

I'm another one who's been through this and cba to date anymore.

So many of these blokes are duds! Isshoos on ishoos!

I've had my through the mill episode but done the head/esteem work to help heal it, but so few men do this, just carry their baggage around with them, or fancy themselves as capable of pulling a 'bird' so are often rude and dismissive of women their own age.

Original poster
Honeysucklerose · 11/12/2013 07:47

Okay Hissy I hear you! and am defo going to Man up starting today I do relise I am over analysing it and feel a real TWIT because of this , just find it confusing, so getting on with my busy life especially this time of year and enjoy what I have and my good friends, but thanks for the wise words, and sorry for you rotten experience on Dating , yea one needs to have a very thick skin not to take it all too seriously!

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JeanSeberg · 11/12/2013 07:48

Completely agree with you Hissy. Never been happier since I turned my back on it all. A lot of dates I went on felt more like a therapy session for the bloke, can't believe some of the stuff men told me on a first date.

And yes it's a total cliche that a lot of men in my age group (I'm 46) have on their profile looking for women late 20s/early 30s.

JeanSeberg · 11/12/2013 07:50

Don't be harsh on yourself OP, it can drive the most self-assured person round the twist! I think it's because you/we try to apply logic to a situation where there is none and we're used to people acting in a certain way.

Original poster
Honeysucklerose · 11/12/2013 07:52

Thanks Jean , I agree the thing men tell you on a First Date , I really dont know why I bothered to give it a go , as my life is sweet and busy right now why muck it up with complications I say , Merry Christmas to you all!

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