Scared for the future

[PPaka]

Just confronted husband with knowledge of him trying to hook up with other women
He is trying to blame me
He is going to be a complete bastard
Threats, etc
The future is so scary- what the fuck is he going to do
I think he's capable of anything

No they don't have law clinics in the daytime
I don't work so daytime is good for me
I can't really drag ds along with me and would have to pay for babysitter
I can see a regular solicitor during the day but doubtful thru have v quick appts

He may being Mr Reasonable now, but if that doesn't get you back in line he could quickly turn back to Mr Vindictive.

Yes I need to remember that Viv
Thing is, if he refuses to pay mortgage, bills etc then the bank manager will call him, the mortgage is tied up with his job, so he will lose face, so I don't really think he'll do that

He's now sending me messages about how much he's failed me and ds
How he's fucked up all our lives
This is what I struggle with, I start feeling sorry for him

I have Facebook in front of me
I can see her photos

She and her mate are such tarts
Oh god it's making my blood boil

Estate agent coming round tomorrow
No point playing with estimated figures

I'm really worried about rental prices, really expensive
Don't know what to do

Just had 1/2 hour with solicitor, she was fantastic

Husband just noticed I transferred the money, this will test his new found reasonableness

I'm aware I'm talking to myself, but it helps!!

You're doing brilliantly - stay angry and focused on protecting you and your DS.

Is there anyone in RL you can turn to for support? Family, friends?

Don't torture yourself with FB, he's not worth it. Just get him out and get yourself on solid ground financially.

Do NOT feel sorry for him. He sounds vile.

Don't be angry with her, remember he's the one who chose to cheat on you. With her.

I am angry with her
Her best friend is a very good friend of dh, they should both know better.
But switched FB off now, I'll divert my anger elsewhere.
Not bringing family and friends into this just yet.
Family live far away, but mum coming over next week so will talk then
One friend has been so good recently, but her dh is good friends with him, so not saying anything yet

On a really positive note, I went for interview last week, and as I hadn't heard I thought I was out of the running. Turns out I am still in, they haven't made any decisions
So please keep fingers crossed for me

He was fine about the money transfer, but says he doesn't want to split
It's non negotiable

So now he's feeling v sorry for himself
Had the worst day professionally( true, v bad timing)
Says he's resigning and he would rather die than live the rest of his life without me and ds

Tell him not to make a mess when he tops himself. Ridiculous man.

Good news- house valuation hugely better than expected

Bad news- cistern on loo broke- big flood

Hoorayyyy

Boooooo

One thing I didn't ask the solicitor was what to go if he wants to sell this property and use funds to buy new place
I could never afford to buy him out, and I'm not confident of securing a mortgage myself if no income, just maintenance from him

I think I just told my sister
She asked if she could visit. So I had to say something

Did it help to tell her ?

I just told her things weren't good, that's opening it up to tell her properly
Just had big chat with him
Told him about solicitors and estate agent
Think he was shocked
But hopefully he gets that I'm serious
Convo got a bit heated in places when he said I will take him to the cleaners, but I explained that its much better if its amicable and we sort out something that can work

Told him he has to make gp appt, he has to sort out his tax

He is thinking about resigning and just fucking off- great responsible parent

He's also transferred some money, so I feel a lot more secure.

He doesn't have spare money, his bonus money is coming in

When will it sink in that this is not fixable
He's so stubborn

So, do I tell people the real reason I want a divorce- his fucking around
Or do I let people read between the lines?
I think he's been honest-to a point, with one friend. But he's just told another joint friend and I think he is going with the line- he's fucked it up, all his fault, I deserve better,- so that he doesn't have to actually admit that he was sharking some tart, asking her to go away with him

Somehow I feel disloyal telling people
Or maybe that shame and humiliation

I can't really not tell my friends the truth so he saves face. Can I?

Personally, I would sing like a fucking canary

So would I - and I did .